Alfie Solomons (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
devoutish) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2016-10-15 12:26 pm
devoutish) wrote in maskormenace2016-10-15 12:26 pm
💣 002 | audio
[When it comes to the network, Alfie is more of a reader than a poster - and when he does post, he usually prefers to pick one person and talk to them directly, rather than saying something to all the imPorts at large. It's closer to what he's used to, and it's an easy way to control the conversation. But the technology and how it's used is a curious thing to him, in a frivolous sort of way. He doesn't think he'll ever end up relying on it, but it's worth a little experimentation.
So here he is.]
I was out for a walk today, right, and I was approached by a very little boy, knee-high. He addressed me by name, he pointed to my hat, and he asked to borrow it for a costume. He wants to be me, for Halloween, and he was determined to be authentic.
[He gives a pause to let this sink in.]
That's ridiculous, innit. It's ridiculous. You lot have covered the costumes already; I’m not gonna go over it again. But all these admirers - I’ve been here a month and I’ve done nothing but discourage them, and still they come.
[It’s true. He puts a lot of effort into actively sabotaging his radio show, purposefully mumbling unintelligibly at inopportune moments ("Set your oven at [mumbled gibberish] degrees and bake for [more gibberish and a cough] minutes") and throwing inappropriate ingredients into recipe descriptions (“The chili pepper, yeah - it’s really essential, and by the time your sugar cake is finished the taste of the spice will have baked off”). There’s still a sizable chunk of people who see it as comedy, and faithfully tune in every week.]
Have any of you found the trick to getting them to fuck off for good?
So here he is.]
I was out for a walk today, right, and I was approached by a very little boy, knee-high. He addressed me by name, he pointed to my hat, and he asked to borrow it for a costume. He wants to be me, for Halloween, and he was determined to be authentic.
[He gives a pause to let this sink in.]
That's ridiculous, innit. It's ridiculous. You lot have covered the costumes already; I’m not gonna go over it again. But all these admirers - I’ve been here a month and I’ve done nothing but discourage them, and still they come.
[It’s true. He puts a lot of effort into actively sabotaging his radio show, purposefully mumbling unintelligibly at inopportune moments ("Set your oven at [mumbled gibberish] degrees and bake for [more gibberish and a cough] minutes") and throwing inappropriate ingredients into recipe descriptions (“The chili pepper, yeah - it’s really essential, and by the time your sugar cake is finished the taste of the spice will have baked off”). There’s still a sizable chunk of people who see it as comedy, and faithfully tune in every week.]
Have any of you found the trick to getting them to fuck off for good?
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Even attacking 'em doesn't work.
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[These natives are all clearly insane.]
You know from experience?
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...
Been a while since I did that stuff, though.
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[Unconscious, hospitalized in some cases... it's a miracle a lot of them survived.]
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[Minato was... lax. Very lax. Ironically he was the best person to help corral Tetsuo.]
...but don't get the wrong idea or anything. You can kill someone on the network and just get a couple months in jail. They only pretend they give a damn about what happens.
[That last one sounds incredibly bitter.]
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Did you die, then, or was it a friend?
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[Suddenly, this conversation stops being something he even vaguely wants to have. Shit. How did he know?!]
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[Which means he's admitting it was one of the ones before, but he's not good at duplicity or being crafty in discussions like this.]
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...[And then comes that all too late moment of realization.]
Shut up!
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[He breathes in audibly.]
So what?! That's not important, anyway!!
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[So he does.]