maskormenace | Entries tagged with † barry allen

March 2021

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WILL YOU HELP SAVE THE WORLD?

Mask or Menace is a panfandom urban 'superhero' genre DWRP game, where heroes, villains, and everyone in between seek to survive and thrive in a world loosely parallel to our own.

hardboyled

[ Some may be familiar with the tuneful "Da na na na na na~" being sung as the feed pans across a sparse looking office. Presumably it's an office anyway, judging by the mahogany desk and two whole chairs within it. Jake Peralta is at said desk pretending to be on the phone and looking super busy, managing a dopey grin and finger guns as the camera passes him despite all this clearly hard work he's doing. There's even a brief shot of Jessica Jones in the corner, drink in hand, scowling heavily into it, but then the camera is swinging round to a close up of Boyle's face as he starts up with a beautiful rendition of the Ghostbusters theme: ]

If there's something bad in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?!
P, B and J!
If there's someone weird
And they don't look good...

[ Leaning in to put his face next to Jake's, almost cheek to cheek; ]

Who you gonna call?!

[ Jake only manages the briefest of protests before giving in. ]

No, Boyle, I will not si-- P, B and J!

[ Jake gives his line an extra boost of feeling before he transitions into something of a more official announcer's voice. He's got some important things to say and this requires his utmost focus.

They're running a business here.

Which means Jake's waving at the little video screen and grinning like a loon. ] Okay, so we're P - [ Jake gestures to himself. ] - B - [ The video screen swings around to show Boyle who, catching on to the gimmick, points to himself ] - and J - [ And now the camera blurs for a sec in rapid transition to show a very unimpressed Jessica Jones somewhere in the back, feet up on the table. The lens stays on her for long enough that her only reaction is to flip the bird before Jake turns the camera back around on him.

He smiles. ] She loves it.

Aaaaanyway, we're an Investigations service. You got a case you can't solve? A bad guy to put away? Someone - or someones - to save? Cat in a tree? Mmmaybe just leave that to Superman. But the rest of it, the gritty, grimy, bloody stuff - just give us a call and we're on it. With style. Check out this cool leather jacket, I got it just for the gig.

[ It's probably time for Boyle to step in and tell them the important stuff. Like contact information. But not before he fully endorses his buddies' fashion sense. ]

Amazing jacket, by the way, Jakey! Really gives you the super fly P.I. feel. Love it. You know I--

-- Boyle...

RIGHT! Oh! We're in need of some help around the office, y'know, receptioning and that kind of thing, part time or full. Apply within. The rest of you: come find us at Maurtia Falls, [ Insert address and contacts here. ] to see Jakes' jacket in person, and get your problems solved by this fine threesome of--

[ Boyle's cut off by an agitated sounding, ] Jesus! [ from Jess, and with an accompanied sigh of annoyance and a jostle of the camera, the feed cuts off. ]

heisenbitch

Anyone else think it might be a bullshit lie that imports go home when ported out?

coppelganger

[ hey what's up it's the most stoic clone ]

Hey. My sister, Sarissa Theron, went home about a month ago. I waited a while thinking she might come back, but it's looking like that won't happen. I know she had a lot of friends here, so I thought I'd let everyone know. [ This all sounds pretty rehearsed, because she doesn't trust herself to go off script right now. Once it's done, though, she doesn't seem to know how to sign off. ]

Okay, so... thanks for watching. [ nailed it?? ]

extremeteenbible

[ The video begins in selfie mode outside a grand stone and brick cathedral, which some might recognize as Maurtia Fall's local Catholic Church, St. Drausnius (named after the patron saint of invincible people). One might not immediately notice that the camera is in selfie mode, as only the top of Merle's head is visible, a mess of bright white hair at the bottom of the frame. Crowds of families in their Sunday finery are headed into the church, which has a brightly colored banner across the front welcoming parishioners to their Easter Sunday celebration. ]

I've heard a lot about this "Easter" holiday... [ Merle starts, finally pulling the camera down to show his full face in frame. ] Seems like people can't quite make up their mind as to whether the celebration's about new baby farm animals, or the death and revivification of some ancient demigod. I figured, why not check it out for myself to find out?

So... Any one wanna come with me, and see whether the promise of a petting zoo at the end is just an April Fool's prank?

maskormods

THE MAJORITY REPORT: MARCH 20TH, 2018Got a case of deja vu?
Maybe it's not just in your head.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

IT'S NOT UNUSUAL
As seen on TMI:
According to a recently taken online poll, 65% of all poll takers believe it is LIKELY that Bruce Wayne is Woden. 15% say UNLIKELY. 5% said that Bruce Wayne was actually an immortal born in the 1700s. 10% say Bruce Wayne is Jonathan Crane's sugar daddy. 5% say that Bruce Wayne is Just Bruce Wayne Leave Him Alone.

WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT
As seen on national and international news:
5:01 AM

HIGH ALERT. Detected: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. All military units enacting code red. Repeat: incoming missile IDENTIFIED AS HOSTILE and heading towards Heropa, Florida. Civilians TAKE SHELTER. Capable and ready imPorts: on call for action! HIGH ALERT. Act of war committed against US soil! HIGH ALERT! TAKE COVER.

Stand by.

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from SILVER FOX to NEVER-ENDING SCREECH OF TIMELESS YELLOW.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

burlyboy

Right, so. Thought experiment. Bear with me here.

Let's say you got a chance to go back and change whatever that dumb shit you did was - you know, the point where everything went wrong, or you wish you would've done something differently. Only if you change that, that means erasing everything that ever happened after too, good or bad. Everything you're proud of, and all the friends you made.

Would you do it?

[ Hm. This sounds super specific and super suspicious! HE'S JUST GONNA... COUCH IT A LITTLE. ]

I met a really weird witch, fellas.

[ #nailedit. Which is to say: hello, everyone, one Magnus Burnsides is back in town and, ostensibly, acting as though he never left! ]

accelerate

UN: FLASH

[ for the first time since his arrival, the flash graces the network at lunchtime. it's a good thing this isn't paper-based. there'd be crumbs everywhere ... as well as ketchup and a soft drink stain. the flash may be the fastest man alive, but he's still a klutz. ]

ROGUES WANTED

SEEKING: ROGUES SPECIALIZING IN COLD, HEAT, BAD JOKES, MUSIC* TO KEEP THE FLASH ON HIS TOES AND IN FIT CONDITION FOR COLD, HEATWAVE, TRICKSTER, AND PIPER TO RETURN.

MUST HAVE: GREAT SENSES OF HUMOR, ABILITY TO ACCEPT PEP TALKS, ABILITY TO GIVE PEP TALKS, AND ROGUES WHO ARE COMFORTABLE COMING OVER FOR CHRISTMAS AND BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS

THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A ROGUE? LET US KNOW NOW! AND BY US I MEAN JUST THE FLASH

NAME:

GENERATION:

TOP 5 SKILLS

TOP 5 WEAKNESSES

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE "ENEMY"** OF A "HERO"*** BEFORE?

FAVORITE BEYONCE SONG?

WHICH SPICE GIRL ARE YOU MORE LIKE?

HOBBIES?

ARE YOU USEFUL AT RELOCATING MEMORIES? ASKING FOR A FRIEND:

* THE FLASH HAS LOST ALL OF HIS ROGUES :'( I LOVE YOU GUYS
** ENEMY IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO PULL THE METAPHORICAL PIGTAILS OF THE FLASH, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS TRULY AN ENEMY OR A BAD PERSON
*** HERO IS DEFINED AS SOMEONE WHO THE ROGUES THINK OF AS A HERO, NOT SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE

[ if you want to apply, fill in this easy-to-fill in form:

please note that acceptance as a rogue doesn't guarantee you will be invited to his vip beyonce concert tour. this right is reserved for iris west-allen and his original rogues ... ]

doitforthevibe

[ The video opens on a Heropa sidewalk, showing a pair of feet walking, and in front of them, a chinchilla in a plastic hamster ball rolling along intently. He's a rodent on a mission. Cisco's voice comes on after a minute, sounding a little aggravated. ]

This guy has got to be the smartest, mossy determined chinchilla ever. He lets himself out of his cage, climbs into his ball, and rolls out of my house, down the sidewalk, and away. He's tried this escape plan three times so far so now I'm just humoring him and following to see where he's trying to go.

[ The hamster ball rolls off the sidewalk into the street and Cisco follows at a run, reaching down to pick it up. ]

Francisco! What did I tell you!? Cars aren't gonna stop for you!

[ Yes, the chinchilla has the same name as him. Cisco waits for the walk signal before carrying the ball across the street, placing it down carefully on the other side. Immediately, the chinchilla takes off at a run down the sidewalk. ]

So, I guess, uh, if anyone here has any experience in dealing with hyper-intelligent pets, a little advice would be appreciated.

[ Finally, the ball stops rolling, having reached its apparent destination: the Heropa Individual Housing apartments. The chinchilla pokes his head out, sniffing the air curiously. Cisco sighs audibly. ]

This is where you've been wanting to go? Buddy, I told you... Piper went home. He's not here anymore.

[ He reaches down to pick up the hamster ball again for the long walk home, and ends the recording. ]

divaricate

[—

» ID: Wanda Maximoff

helloooooooooo network -- it's Wanda again, who brought you the recent greatest hit of "chocolafte cofered espreesso beanzs".]

select 'like' if you think the porter needs to get a new hobby that doesn't involve porting out three of my family members in one month (hey february: gtfo) and you want to go get a shit load of drinks with me asap because screw this.

or select 'dislike' if you think the porter needs a new shtick.

yes, both of those boils down to ppppretty much the same point. yes, that IS the point. no, idgaf.

✔: ✗:

[She's apparently just here to complain about February so far.]

maskormods

THE MAJORITY REPORT: FEBRUARY 10TH, 2018With the departure of Miles Vorkosigan, the city of Nonah is abuzz with rising candidates. While political talk and imPort futures wag tongues above ground, the underground music scene burns wildly. All that heat, quite literally underground. Rumors of something intense stirring in De Chima will have reporters on the scene. Perhaps you want to be part of recent history, too? In other news: native media is gearing up with excitement for the February Swearing-In. Bets are on that it's going to be LOVE related!

BLUETUBERS GREENE WITH ENVY
As seen in BlueTube, Bwitter, Instagrahm, and Buzzfad:
Since its creation in December, the anthembeth BlueTube account has slowly built up a fan following of people who know that this imPort's powers are EVERYTHING. The videos feature music performed by eighteen-year-old Beth Greene, accompanied by illusions that tell stories or create ambiance. Move over, ASMR: you're going to want to want to fall asleep to videos of starry skies and cute cartoon foxes.

Even better? She takes song requests if she feels they fit her style. So don't just listen--suggest a song and cross your fingers. Your 2018 anthem could get its own custom music video!

RUNNING AMUK
As seen featured on TMI magazine and blog:

If anyone's noticed any sort of funky smells coming from the area around Maurtia Falls #009, don't worry - you're not imagining it. It seems the house's New Year's Eve party - the one that claimed multiple public street lights, an abandoned car (whose smoldering ashes can still be found in the front yard), a now-permanent "art installation" called Chair In Wall, 2018, Mixed Media, a closet door apparently ripped from its hinges, multiple fires, and an alarming number of throwing stars scattered throughout the neighborhood, sometimes lodged in things - came to an abrupt end when one Rosa Diaz (sources are unable to confirm or deny that this is her real name) brought a handful of unsupervised pokeballs to housemate Jake Peralta, who then chose one at random. The gelatinous, dumpster-perfumed creature that emerged, Muk, immediately put a damper on the mood and caused the celebrations to come to a sudden standstill.

When asked for comment, Ms. "Diaz" responded with words unable to be printed for and shared with the public. Mr. Peralta, on the other hand, had this to say:

"We had cool intergalactic people!! We had neighbors and friends and POKEMON - DON'T FORGET THE POKEMON! - and there were lightsabers and so many drinks ... so .. many .. OH! And me and my pal Sarissa showed up FANCY STYLEZ - that's "styles" with a "z" - and it was AWESOME! GIRL'S GOT SOME REAL DANCE MOVES!" He was unable to give an accurate account of the evening's events or explain all of the destruction to public property. Mr. Boyle, who you may know as the host of the amateur cooking show Boiled Over, would only talk about how delicious his "balls" were. We can only assume - and hope - that he meant some kind of food.

THE NEW GALLA-P POLL
As seen in Bwitter, Buzzfad, local papers:
ImPort newcomer, Galla, has been wasting no time in establishing her presence following her recent arrival to our world. It's been some time since we saw a new arrival adapt this quickly, but this new influencer has already declared her desire to foster understanding not just between imPorts and natives, but among imPorts themselves! It's a lofty goal, but elderly upstart Galla speaks with such confidence that it's hard not to believe her when she speaks about it. Rumor even has it she's already sidling up to newly elected Ambassador Amidala to garner support for her cause.

When reached for comment, Galla explained "I know this may be an insurmountable task, but I've become quite accustomed to dealing with those in my time." She could not, however, explain how she hopes to achieve this goal. "It is a work in progress. Do try to remember that I only arrived last month, and these things take time," was the answer she gave when pressed on the issue.

She went on to explain that she's making an effort to get to know her fellow imPorts before she begins planning any events for them, citing a recent informal survey she conducted to find out what issues they've faced since being brought to our world. "I'm excited to begin planning in earnest now that I have some insight," said Galla of the survey. We only hope that she won't keep us waiting on her plans for much longer.

ENTER COOL WITH A VAMPIRE
As seen in As seen in The Heropa Daily, in print and online; entitled GRAVE MATTERS, a new advice column by Lestat de Lioncourt:
What's the gothest date I can take the guy I like on for Valentine's Day? —Verdant Valentine

VV: Your heart could not be any more in the right place if you carved it out and served it to him yourself (one potential suggestion). However, tread with caution! Romantics like you and I tend to see in a person what we expect to see, which is all too often a reflection of ourselves — our own desires and our own limitations. There was a time when I would have told you that you can't go wrong with a thing as simple as a coffin, but it turns out that you very much can, and one awkward little misstep like that can utterly obliterate the tone of an evening.

This is where you absolutely must reflect. Is he, to conjure up an example, the type to enjoy a quiet little bit of graveyard breaking and entering? Or would he prefer to have his eardrums destroyed by the crash and howl of a rock concert? Of course, I could be misunderstanding you entirely, and this paramour of yours is especially passionate about flying buttresses. I hope I've conveyed my point.

So my advice, dear reader, is this: beneath the inky midnight wrapping of your individual goth lurks a soul as unique as any single malevolent snowflake. Find what special thing it is that makes his dark heart beat faster, and then it will be simple to hang a few bats on it. I trust you.

With all that said, look into opera houses with vacant basements. It really is the little black dress of goth dates.

Lestat de Lioncourt is America's only vampire advice columnist, ready to answer all your questions about life, death, love, revenge, and how to have a good time after the sun goes down.

THE FLORIDA MANDATE
As seen in magazines and newspapers nationwide; Bwitter (#fridayreads, #floridamanridesagain):
#FridayReads - Florida Man Rides Again: a story of an ordinary man doing the extraordinar(ily weird)

The people have demanded, and so: who better to present the chronicles of Heropa's local Florida man than the reporter who's been writing about him for the past 9 months? imPort Iris West chronicles the rise of the elusive Florida Man as he embarks on adventures the rest of us could only dream of, including teaching alligators to chase laser pointers; selling tourists tickets to the nonexistent first Annual Heropa Manatee Rodeo; and putting googly eyes on every painting in the Heropa Museum of Modern Art.

When approached for comment, Ms. West could only ask "What'd he do this time?"

With charming illustrations from Heropa Police's forensic artists and the wise words of Ms. West, "Florida Man Rides Again" will arrive on bookshelves and online readers on March 10! Don't miss your chance to get a signed copy!!

CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from MOONSHINE SILVER to HMM MAKES YOU PINK. Something to think about.

WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.

divaricate

[Wanda has just discovered the treat that is a really good brand of chocolate covered espresso beans, and has eaten way too many in far to short of a time period. She is over-caffeinated and thinking and texting at a bazillion miles an hour, which means typos and shitposting galore.

She's sorry not sorry.]

oh m ygod, i founfd go0d chocolafte cofered espreesso beanzs!??!!!!!! wuhere have these beaen alol my life, beacsue they're os good??? i ate a plackage and a half in thfirty minutes. anyone who didn't tlel me about yhese before is banned.

[Banned from what? We just don't know. This is her over-caffeinated brain texting and thinking, here.]

can tehese give you spuerspeed??because i feel like i could run faster tahn my brother rihgt now.

peterpetfr peter let's race.

🏃💨 zoomzoom

accelerate

[ in a bid to try and remember the memories he has lost to flashpoint — a realisation our fast hero hasn't had yet — barry turns to the realm of fandom. what better way to jog his memory than to write some fic? isn't that what the therapists told a young bartholomew allen? (he doesn't know. this isn't his first piece of memory fan fiction.) ]

[ this graces the network in the middle of the night. ]

UN: BEARY

The air crackles with golden electricity. Slick with ice is the street the Flash skids along, easily pulling himself to a confident standing position despite the ice on his shoes and the slightly poor finish to his run.

Captain Cold stands before him, Cold Gun in hand. His parka covers most of his face, and his goggles are as blue as the fabric. "Hello, Flash," he purrs.

"Captain Cold," the Flash says, a little respectively. "What brings you out so late?"

Captain Cold almost shrugs. "I was bored," he drawls. "The nighttime circuit around here isn't as fun as it used to be."

"You can blame your friends for that," says the Flash. He stand with his hands on his skinny hips, face a blur when the captain studies him.

Captain Cold's lips twist. "Want to have some fun, Flash?"

The Flash shakes his head. "No thanks. I've had enough fun for today."

"Oh well," Captain Cold almost pouts. "Save a dance for me next time. I've got my best dancing shoes on."

"And best dance floor," The Flash nods toward the thin layer of ice on the street.

It's now Captain Cold shrugs. "Call it practice. Giving to the poor what they want."

"And what's that?"

"I'll tell you later," he smirks. "During our next dance."

The Flash doesn't look displeased. Glancing at the Cold Gun and then back at Captain Cold, he nods his head, knowing that this is it.

"See you around, Captain." The Flash doesn't take off immediately, glancing at the Rogue who is almost like a friend. With another respectful nod, he's zipping along the street, a little clumsily on the thin ice as he disappears into the night.

Captain Cold watches him go with a little smile.

socialactivillain

( Chinchilla livestream for charity! )

I know lots of folks just had kind of a rough weekend, and everyone loves a cute animal on the internet, so here's my chinchilla, Francisco, having a bath to try to raise some spirits.

Additionally, I'm coordinating with charities for the recovery and clean up efforts in Maurtia Falls. Anything helps, no matter how small. Donations should be directed to No One Alone in Maurtia Falls, who are spearheading the local relief efforts with a focus on low income neighborhoods.

restingstitchface

Did I ever tell you what the hardest part of going straight is?

Trying to remain on the right side of the law when every single person around you wants you to keep breaking it. All those sayings you pontificate on. "He's bound to have done something." "Once a criminal, always a criminal." "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." If I were to say I have served my time, what would you say? Think about it.

Better yet, why don't we widen our net? I've spoken to Mick Rory about this. And he is so a man we can admit is a nicer individual than I. We talk about a great deal, the two of us, and let me tell you; having his past smeared across his face time after time, years after the crime, is more discouraging than he can articulate. This is the cheerless truth he's kept from you; it's a rare thing he's found someone who genuinely wants him to succeed.

Well, I'm sure he'd say this to you were you to ask politely, anyway.

I just don't think it's very conceivable you'll let him move on. Let's face it, you're punished once in prison, and then over and over again for the remainder of your life. Except Mick's getting a bit long in the tooth for it now, if you ask me. He might just snap or beat someone. Or set their lawn on fire, I think? On the bright side, maybe he'll just rob a bank.

I'm serious. You just can't let him live in peace, can you? You're gunning for him to mess it up. You're throwing out all the signals. It's pretty obvious. How do I know? I've seen it before.

doitforthevibe

[ When Cisco appears on screen, he's idly spinning back and forth in his desk chair at his garage workshop in Heropa. The desks and tables in the background are cluttered with various half-built projects. ]

I have, through some self-reflection-- and yes, a little gentle prompting from friends-- come to the conclusion that I need a hobby. Bad.

[ Between running his own tech firm, working with the Justice League, and volunteering to provide IT Services to Iris' clinic... he's been a little stretched thin. ]

SO! I've decided to run a good, old fashioned tabletop RPG. This world doesn't have D&D or Pathfinder, but there's a game called Magic & Mayhem that seems to be pretty much the same thing. It's been a while since I DM'ed, but I'm sure I can pick it up again no problem. All I need is players.

So if anyone is interested in rolling some dice and going on some roleplay adventures, hit me up! You can make up your own characters, or there are character presets based on some imPorts available.

[ He includes a link. ]

Or, if you want to create a character from scratch but are having a hard time deciding what race or class you should be, try this survey! [ Another link. ]

I'm thinking weekend afternoons for runtime, probably starting at level 1 and working our way up to being a party of seasoned adventurers. Let me know if you have any questions, I'm open to first timers and old hats alike!

eloquentness

[ This video starts around mid-morning (say, 11-ish?) and Iris waves to the camera, sitting prim and proper in some fancy office. The scattered mugs of coffee, however, betray just how long she's been up and running - ]

Hey everyone! Just wanted to thank everyone again for all their efforts helping out last month. I know it's a little late, but by now, you should've gotten a token of our appreciation. If not - or you still want one, lemme know.

[ by which she means, for those who've either donated or offered assistance in some way: one of those cute holiday mugs, filled with candy canes, hot cocoa, and kosher/halal marshmallows. Just in case those pesky dietary restrictions come into play. And yes, they were entirely out of her own pocket. (No misuse of donations here!!) ]

For those who may not know me, I'm Iris. I help run the O'Malley Clinic here in De Chima with Dr. Watson, and we're actually looking for volunteers, staff, you pretty much name it. Medical experience not necessary for the administrative or public health stuff - trust me. [ she laughs, ] I'm not a doctor.

I'd ask for resumes and CVs and the like, but honestly, we'll take anyone who's willing to work and learn. [ beat ] Which, as some of you might've guessed, means we'll see what you've got in-person.

Thanks for hearing me out. [ and just before she cuts the feed, she sits up straighter, as if remembering something - ] Oh! And if you have ideas for health classes, pitch 'em. We're planning to start those up next month.

magnitudes

Okay, okay okay okay. Okay. Right.

( Hey, friends. Sarissa ruffles her hair, messy and curly as it is, and then holds her silence for a moment of Dramatic Effect. )

This is a heaps important question:

Are t-shirts acceptable to wear on a date? I'm asking because my sister is being rude and I need to make a point really dramatically, so just work with me on this, guys.

onlydoubts

[ The transmission is coming from the front of the Rogue One household. It's still looking pretty cold, But Bodhi is sitting out front - wearing a scarf and jacket over his clothes, gloves sitting uselessly next to him - the reason why is because he's petting a dog with his free hand. He doesn't quite look at the audience as he speaks. ]

You know, dogs where I come from aren't half as -- well, cute as the ones from this planet are. Isn't that right, boy?

I um. Need some help. I've never had a pet before, and I could use some advice? [ He's done a little research, but it can't hurt getting some more input from others, right? the dog barks, nosing into Bodhi's face and he almost topples over, trying to avoid death by licking. ] Hey, hey. Cut that out, you.

[ He's not mad, though. Smiling, he shakes his head and addresses the camera again. ]

Also, name suggestions. I could use some of those, too. I'm no good at picking names.

[ at least not for living things. But calling a dog 'Rogue One' cause he can't think of anything else is out. ]

brickjoke

[ The video starts to a slightly angled view of an empty kitchen, as if the communicator was leaning upright against something. From the angle, though, it’d be reasonable to assume it’s on a countertop.

A voice speaks but there’s no one on screen. ]

-- recording? There! ...oh. Hold on, I’ll totally be right with you in a jiffy.

[ There’s a scraping sound as though someone is pushing something across the countertop. ]

I -- urghh -- I’m coming, just gottta -- hnnng --- oh my gosh this is heavy -- why is everything so big? What’re you all compensating for, huh? Why can’t this cup be normal sized?

[ Suddenly there’s a loud POP (which strangely sounds like someone making a popping sound with their mouth) and the cup disappears. A tiny sound of plastic hitting countertop can be heard. ]

Oh hey, whadya know! [ Loudly: ] Why can’t there be three dozen donuts and a purple helicopter filled with henchmen?

[ Silence. ]

Eh, worth a try.

[ A pitter-patter of plastic footsteps. ]

I’ll just put this here and -- big again!

[ With another loud POP the top half of a coffee cup is visible and perfectly centered. There’s a scrambling sound. ]

Introducing the Clown Prince of Crime! Batman’s greatest enemy and Gotham’s greatest fear! The one, the only --

[ A tiny lego minifig pulls himself up so he’s standing on the brim of the cup. His arms and his smile are thrown wide.. ]

The Joker!

[ He smiles even more broadly, somehow, and despite being made of plastic his facial expressions and body language shift and change perfectly naturally -- like when his face falls a second later. ]

I could’ve just made the phone thing me-sized, couldn’t I? Gosh darn it to heck.

(( If you are a resident of DE CHIMA #007 feel free to Action this with a "there is a lego on the kitchen table" ))

riddleman

Riddle me this, what's easy to get into but hard to get out of?

[Whatever the answer is, he doesn't seem inclined to give it. He, that is a slender man in a nice, tailored suit - dark enough to pass as black, but actually green pinstripe - looking at the camera with a smile.]

Before coming here, things were going really well for me.

[He says that, but there are dark bruises around his throat, looking suspiciously like they were left by hands throttling him. Maybe he has a low bar for 'well'.]

I lived in a mansion. [There's the distant sound of something smashing.] I had a nice job, recently promoted. After what I've been through before, it was a big improvement. [There's another smash. That's definitely ceramic hitting a wall. Like a plate. Maybe a cup.] But now I'm here and my job is to be architect for a puzzle page. Not exactly much of a challenge, you'll agree. So I was wondering if there might be any job openings more suited for my qualifications?

I'm a forensic scientist with years of experience working cases for the Gotham City Police Department. [A book flies behind Edward as he talks, hitting the wall.] That likely means nothing to most of you, so let me assure you that it means that I'm very, very used to strange cases. What is crime like around here? Perhaps I could lend a hand.

[A cushion hits Edward in the shoulder, bouncing off slowly as another voice starts to yell, full of sass and anger.]

Hello! I'm sorry, have I been talking to myself? In what universe are you getting a job here? We are not going backwards. No, this is NOT happening. This is unacceptable. Do you hear me? Unacceptable!

[In the background, what can only be described as some kind of weird, gothic disco vampire type of guy, holding up a cup in a threatening manner.] Tell them who I am!

[Edward turns his head to lower his voice, hissing at Oswald in a quieter voice that's still perfectly audible.] How about I tell them when you're not acting a tenth your age? Whatever. As you wish, Mr Mayor.

[With that he straightens up, gesturing at Oswald in a very exaggerated way, voice loud and clear.]

Ladies! Gentlemen! Others! Allow me to introduce Oswald Cobblepot, the esteemed mayor of Gotham City, who occasionally even acts like it.

[Once again, off screen, the sound of something else smashing can be heard before:] Oh, bite me, Edward!

[ooc: Special permissions post for Edward can be found here, only fill it out if you feel like it, no pressure!]

MASK OR MENACE

NETWORK COMMUNITY

Entries tagged with † barry allen | the flash

March 2021

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