1 ❤ VIDEO

[brickjoke]

[ The video starts to a slightly angled view of an empty kitchen, as if the communicator was leaning upright against something. From the angle, though, it’d be reasonable to assume it’s on a countertop.

A voice speaks but there’s no one on screen. ]

-- recording? There! ...oh. Hold on, I’ll totally be right with you in a jiffy.

[ There’s a scraping sound as though someone is pushing something across the countertop. ]

I -- urghh -- I’m coming, just gottta -- hnnng --- oh my gosh this is heavy -- why is everything so big? What’re you all compensating for, huh? Why can’t this cup be normal sized?

[ Suddenly there’s a loud POP (which strangely sounds like someone making a popping sound with their mouth) and the cup disappears. A tiny sound of plastic hitting countertop can be heard. ]

Oh hey, whadya know! [ Loudly: ] Why can’t there be three dozen donuts and a purple helicopter filled with henchmen?

[ Silence. ]

Eh, worth a try.

[ A pitter-patter of plastic footsteps. ]

I’ll just put this here and -- big again!

[ With another loud POP the top half of a coffee cup is visible and perfectly centered. There’s a scrambling sound. ]

Introducing the Clown Prince of Crime! Batman’s greatest enemy and Gotham’s greatest fear! The one, the only --

[ A tiny lego minifig pulls himself up so he’s standing on the brim of the cup. His arms and his smile are thrown wide.. ]

The Joker!

[ He smiles even more broadly, somehow, and despite being made of plastic his facial expressions and body language shift and change perfectly naturally -- like when his face falls a second later. ]

I could’ve just made the phone thing me-sized, couldn’t I? Gosh darn it to heck.

(( If you are a resident of DE CHIMA #007 feel free to Action this with a "there is a lego on the kitchen table" ))

Comments

text

[h2no]

[it takes him fucking. half an hour to even get through this because he's laughing so hard. like literally ending up on the floor wheezing laughter. he has to reply with text because it's so bad.]

i know batman!!
you really give him that much trouble?

[brickjoke]

isnt he just THE WORST???? 💔 💔 💔

please
i give him more trouble than any1 else
the guy is OBSESSED with me

not here; 1/2

[the_caped_crusader]

not here; 2/2

[the_caped_crusader]

Christ........

[Video]

[sleight_of_hand]

[ ...what the shit is this even? ]

Did someone leave their pet lemming alone near their communicator or something?

1/2

[brickjoke]

[ He good–naturedly hums a certain song. ]

[incogneto]

If you haven't figured it out yet, you're smaller than the general population.

[ He also is kinda wondering if all Legos hate batman, or like. Just this one. ]

[brickjoke]

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

no rly???

i mustve not noticed when EVERY SINGLE PERSON OUTSIDE looked like theyre from tv

doesnt make em any less freakish tho fyi








wait so LITERALLY everyone is?

Action

[bindsthedead]

[Sabriel doesn't immediately notice him- instead, she starts filling up the teapot, humming to herself.

Then she grabs the mug.]

Wait, who left a toy out here?

[brickjoke]

[ He puts his hands on his waist. ]

Hey! I was using that for dramatic effect!

[ Despite his diminutive size, his voice is perfectly audible. ]

Action

[halloflamer]

[Walks out in his pajama pants, reaching into the fridge to grab orange juice. He knocks it back from the carton and ...gargles.]

[He looks pretty hungover.]

[Blue stands there, gargling OJ for a good minute before he looks down and notices the plastic toy yammering away.] Um.

[brickjoke]

[ Joker was ignoring him until Blue noticed him, at which point he had to knowledge what he always craves: attention. ]

Wowsers, you look like you got up on the wrong side of everything.

video

[riddleman]

You are LEGO.

[He loves LEGO.]

Is your whole Gotham like you? Because that's [ADORABLE.] intriguing.

Anyway. Joker, is it? I'm from another version of Gotham. We don't have the Joker. Yet, anyway.

[brickjoke]

Yes, yes, yes and whatdya mean "another version of Gotham"? And what kind of Gotham doesn't have me? I'm essential! I'm practically a landmark!

video

[beaky]

'Gotham's greatest fear?'

[Edward woke him up for this? Well... it is kind of weird. He frowns and cocks his head to the side. It's like a very, very tiny lego clown. He thought the Joker was some guy Harley was into or something.

Who dates a piece of lego?] I guess no one likes to stand on lego. Really hurts. I wouldn't say it's terrifying but... [That's what he gives you.]

[brickjoke]

Don't patronize me, bad hair day. Didn't yo mama ever tell you to be nice or the Joker will get you? I'm the greatest danger in Gotham there ever was!

video;

[bespin]

Well, I never...

[ What kind of alien being is this? Looks like a toy. ]

[brickjoke]

Well you never what? Finish your goshdarn sentence!

text

[hellrisen02]

[You've gotta be fucking kidding.]

Oh, you guys definitely pissed Lachesis off.

[brickjoke]

...Who did what to whose sister?

Video

[freedomflighter]

[Just. Give Finn a moment here. Okay, okay. Clearly some kid got sent in and has toy powers?]

Good one, kid. But you can come talk to us yourself, you know.

[brickjoke]

Bzzzt! Wrong! Wrong wrong wrong wrong! I'm no kid.

[ Video ]

[ghoulking]

[ a pause ]

Everything isn't so big. You are just small.

[brickjoke]

Well that's a matter of perspective, ain't it?

[restingstitchface]

Of all the sights I've seen, that most subjects individuals trapped here appear remarkably unable to adapt to your unique appearance most of all...

It's fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.

[It's fucking hilarious, honestly.]

[brickjoke]

u mean everyone is FREAKING THE HECK OUT

i didnt notice

Video

[liverletdie]

[ Just. fucking. Laughing. ]

This is Batman's greatest enemy?

[ Look, he's been around other Jokers, but he's gonna milk this for all it's worth. ]

[brickjoke]

[ Joker knows the difference between someone laughing with him and someone laughing at him and the latter is not nearly as appreciated. ]

Of course I'm Batman's greatest enemy! We've been fighting for decades!

video

[bookkeeper]

[ At first this is just an innocent network post. The usual. A newcomer gets their message out, makes an introduction. Not the end of the world. Something's off. How can someone have so much trouble getting started? BE PREPARED, it's not that hard.

Pitter-pattering. Sounds plastic-y.

Nate's squinting at his comm device. Someone's getting their rocks off first thing in the New Year—

Oh shit— ]

...clown? [ Oh no. Why would you— ] Clown?

[ N O WHY

Wait, hold on. ]

—but you're— [ Barely the size of his pinky finger. ] You're a LEGO.

[ Deadpan. ]

What the hell, man.

[brickjoke]

I'm a clown lego bad guy! What's there to get?!

[ He is SO DONE with the responses to this post! What's a clown lego bad guy got to do to get a little RESPECT around here? ]

You people need to stop being so... so... sizeist.

[itcanwait]

[Robot face on the screen.]

I...I thought people couldn't get any smaller than human children. How small are you?

[Give him a moment, he's gone away, turned human, grabbed a mug and turner back, holding the small mug in his hand.]

Oh my god...uhm wow. Can you get bigger?

1/2

[brickjoke]

[ This is one of those Bigger Robots that other guy was talking about, huh?

That's less important than the fact that "Can you get bigger" is an actually useful question. ]

...Huh.

Ooooooooooooooone second.

[ From seemingly out of he pulls out the file on himself that he was given and flops it down on the kitchen counter. It's been crumpled up into a ball but is still way bigger than he is. He drops it down, and folds it out and squints at it. ]

[Text]

[caduceusvalkyrie]

Batman's greatest enemy, you must be someone truly terrifying.

[Angela is actually just...she's laughing, but more because she's seen Batman, and when she sees him again, she's going to bring this up and tease him so bad.]

[brickjoke]

im the baddest nastiest meanest bad guy batman ever fought
im the greatest (and funniest) of them all

voice; ID: Private

[aboveand]

..............For a joke, this isn't particularly funny.

[brickjoke]

No, this is a joke:

What's a prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark?

video;

[herrstory]

If the world is 'compensating for something' then I imagine you are not?

[brickjoke]

I happen to know exactly who I am.

[ Sometimes Joker just says things for the adults in the audience without really even understanding what he means. ]

text; username: warlock

[secondscythe]

holy shit
do you come with a sweet ride
or other outfits to swap in and out of?

[brickjoke]

gimme enough bricks and i can BUILD one
ill get more outfits soon
costume changes are practically a job requirement

[dun_moch]

[Dooku is just. Staring.]

What fresh sorcery is this?

[brickjoke]

I just said I'm the Joker, --

[ He looks at the ID. And then he snorts.

And then he just starts laughing. ]

VIDEO.

[accelerate]

[ you know what? when barry loses all of his memories, he will only remember this: a talking lego. ]

Dude. [ he's smiling. shit, he should be taking this seriously. he tries — oh god, does he try! — but he can't quite outrun the amusement. pressing a hand against his mouth, he tries to wipe away the excited, boyish grin. then, quickly: ] If one was to deliver three dozen donuts to you, what size would they have to be? Miniature? How small is miniature? Do you have allergies?

[brickjoke]

[ This isn't the best response he could have gotten (because the best responses would be 1) batman or 2) cowering in fear) BUT IT'S CLOSE. ]

Pssht. Big, obviously! And none with mustard.

video

[khajidont]

Oh my god.

[ Oh my god. ]

I - I guess this is kind of best case scenario?

[brickjoke]

Of course! By best case scenario you mean the best villain you could have gotten, right? Otherwise you meant I'm the worst case scenario because I'm so evil, right, right?

audio... for now

[airshow]

[ he has a super witty response to this, no really, just wait for it, it's gonna be—

—no it's 34 seconds of hysterical, obnoxious laughter ]

[brickjoke]

Okay, which punchline are you laughing at?

not here

[itistolaugh]

[ If you listen closely, you can hear the screams ]

voice;

[itistolaugh]

Puddin, I have a lot of questions.