maskormenace | third level; video

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third level; video

[ The video begins in selfie mode outside a grand stone and brick cathedral, which some might recognize as Maurtia Fall's local Catholic Church, St. Drausnius (named after the patron saint of invincible people). One might not immediately notice that the camera is in selfie mode, as only the top of Merle's head is visible, a mess of bright white hair at the bottom of the frame. Crowds of families in their Sunday finery are headed into the church, which has a brightly colored banner across the front welcoming parishioners to their Easter Sunday celebration. ]

I've heard a lot about this "Easter" holiday... [ Merle starts, finally pulling the camera down to show his full face in frame. ] Seems like people can't quite make up their mind as to whether the celebration's about new baby farm animals, or the death and revivification of some ancient demigod. I figured, why not check it out for myself to find out?

So... Any one wanna come with me, and see whether the promise of a petting zoo at the end is just an April Fool's prank?

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I would certainly be interested. I think we missed some spring holidays because of that whole business with the time loop, so I'm determined to find out about the rest.

[He just went to a public Passover Seder, which was an interesting experience. Quite welcoming to non-believers. The Seder was supposed to explain the story behind the holiday, or so he was told. He doubted this one would be so comprehensive, but he was certainly willing to sit in bemusement for a while.]

Alright, one taker!

[ He smiles cheerfully beneath his bushy white beard. ]

Come on over to Maurtia Falls, then, the service starts in half an hour.

So soon? I'd best be on my way. [He's already in Maurtia Falls, so that just means... a bus ride. Oh dear. He's still not quite used to these.]

Eh, get here when you get here. I'll wait for ya outside. I'm sure the beginning is just previews anyway.

[ Merle, that's the movies you're thinking of. ]

All the same, I'd rather you not miss anything on my account.

[The bus stop isn't far away from the church. Shame, really, he'd like a little time with solid ground under him in the fresh air before he goes indoors.

Ah, but there's Merle. Looking quite a bit shorter than he'd thought he would. And he'd just gotten used to the communicator making everyone look small.

He takes one more breath to calm his stomach, then smiles brightly.]

A pleasure to meet you in person. Have they started yet?

[ It doesn't take long for Lucien to get there, and Merle busies himself replying to the other responses to his post on the network while he waits. He puts his phone away when Lucien arrives though, waving to his new friend. ]

Hail and well met! I don't think so, you're right on time!

They wouldn't prank about that.

[ he seems so certain about it, but it only lasts for a second. his face, an expression of excitement, begins to crumble at the thought that this is all a horrible april fool's prank. it can't be — it can't. ]

I'm in. Are we dressing up for this? Dressing down? [ are there team shirts? ]

I hope not, I got a lot riding on seeing some baby lambs today.

[ Mostly just his hopes and dreams. ]

I dunno... Everyone seems to be dressed pretty fancy for this shindig.

I think people like to have any excuse to dress up. I'm pretty sure people dress up for the premiere of the new Keeping Up with the Kardashian premieres, even though they're not as good as what they used to be.

[ talking like a real veteran here. ]

We might need to dress up to infiltrate. You got anything fancy to spare?

Kid, I don't think anything I got's gonna fit you.

[ It might be hard to tell from the video, but he's only three and a half feet tall, and also a lot sturdier built than this beanpole human. ]

[ shit, you're right. ]

You're right. You've got broader shoulders than me.

[ when you think barry allen's about to bail: ]

Do we have a colour scheme happening? I've got a lot of red ... And blue!

Blue might work better. Seems to be mostly pastels and brights... Springtime colors, yanno?

IWANNASEETHELAMBS!!

[an... emphatic yes?]

[ Said in a game show announcer voice, ] Well then, Archie, come on down!!

Already on my way down, bro!!

[he's gonna pick up two kale smoothies for them both from some hipster joint, though. him love merle.]

Is this one of them churches that has a big bell?

[expert knowledge, here.]

Think so! They've got a big steeple for one!

Makes sense...

[anyway he shows up like 30 mins later, holding out a clear plastic smoothie drink out to merle.]

It's Kale. Let's do this.

Thanks, bud! [ SLUUUUURP! ] I think they started already but c'mon, we can grab a seat in the back and then be the first ones to the petting zoo when it's over.

S'long as they don't try and convert me. I ain't about that.

[he takes a long sip of his own, then gestures for merle to lead the way.]

Eh, don't worry about that. Let me handle the evangelists.

[ Merle leads the way up into the church, where they grab a pew at the back. And then there's a long, boring Easter mass with a lot of standing up and sitting down and kneeling and standing back up again, and some call and response that neither Merle nor Archie know the responses to. Can you tell Chris doesn't particularly feel like writing out a church scene?

ANYWAY, eventually the mass ends and the crowd begins to file out the back of the church. Merle shoves his way through the crowd, bellowing over his shoulder to Archie, ] Here comes the good part!

[he follows merle, finishing his smoothie and tossing it into a bin at the entrance... archie had considered taking it in but that statue of a bearded man looks awful angry. maybe he's the anti-littering mascot. he finds a seat next to merle inside the actual hall, nearly always missing the getting up and kneeling by a couple seconds, gets a few angry glares for using his comm, falls asleep on merle's shoulder for a couple minutes at one point. mercifully - perhaps by divine intervention - he does not snore.

by the time they're ready to go outside, he's practically vibrating out his skin. likely with excitement, but also because he dumped so much sugar into his smoothie.

at this point, archie is just ignoring the glares he's getting. he's usually more respectful of people's believes, but he's suffering some lamb based tunnel vision right now.] Hell yeah! [someone tuts.] H...heck yeah!

I think it's nice that you've taken an interest in a piece of one of this world's religions, Merle. Though I wouldn't be surprised if you tried to start a Church of Pan to add to them.

Did ya miss my announcement last month? I'm gonna work on starting up a multi-faith center sort of temple deal for imPort religions!

Oh I -- I must have -- [ Or she did and she forgot. She's not sure which it is. ] I'm sorry, Merle. I've been so caught up in things.

That sounds lovely, though. Are you working with anyone?

That ambassador lady... Ambidextrous or something, is gonna see about getting me some funding.

...Amidala?

Yeah... That mighta been it.

[ SIGH. ]

Yes, well, it does sound like something Padme would be, uh, supportive of. I'm glad you're getting funding.

Petting zoo?

[ Shouted cheerfully back, ] That's what the flyer said!

I'm in! I'm gonna pet the fuck outta some sheep!

[ ... ]

How much religion talk am I gonna have to sit through to get to the sheep?

Ehhhhh, probably an hour's worth? I dunno for sure, never been to this place before.

Okay, I can probably handle an hour. I've never been much of a Church-y guy, but I can make an exception. Let's do this thing!

Alright! Well come on downtown, I'll save a seat for ya!

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