video - ya'll suck

[notgneiss]

I come from a world called Ferelden.

[stated plainly. shale doesn't want this to be a long or fancy post. she just has a few things to say.]

It's much like many worlds I've heard of while here - only... "medieval." I've taken that word to mean a hilariously backward world full of moronic humans who would probably believe you if you told them the sun was blown out by the Maker at night.

[she shifts slightly, the rune on her forehead glowing dimly.]

I find this amusing; even though I am from the medieval world, I think the humans in this technology-laden one are the exact same as the smelly morons I was surrounded by for almost thirty years. They have the same problems. They react the same way to hardships. They squeal when they see violence. I've even seen stories where another race is amazed to see humans still alive because they're so primitive. All written by humans, of course. They did the same in Ferelden.

[if anyone's expecting a 'but' they'll be very disappointed. honestly, shale's mostly just being a grumpy gus because her pals aren't here.]

It's quite pathetically self-aggrandising. Has there yet to be any one of you born with a modicum of self-awareness? It's been millenia.

Comments

text; username dh4z3

[nastygram]

nope!


but we DID invent the toaster
since you fucks were still toasting bread by sticking in the actual fire you will probs be way impressed

and flash games
we invented those too
you're welcome

[notgneiss]

i don't eat.
so thanks for nothing.

[nastygram]

boo hoo

did u see the part about flash games

[notgneiss]

yes.
i don't care.

[nastygram]

ok NOW you're clearly wallowing

[notgneiss]

in what??

[nastygram]

idk
your bad frickin attitude????

like trust me i am more than a little cunty but even i have soul enough to appreciate a decent flash game

[notgneiss]

i could not play them even if i wanted to.
my hands are too big.

[nastygram]

even for a custom computer mouse????

like come on
how big can your hands be
i'm guessing you haven't seen a pic of that freaky serbian giant that plays bball for michigan holding a can of coke or wtf ever
bc HE DOESN'T EXIST HERE
but trust me his hands are like gd giant mittens
and he can use a phone

[notgneiss]

my hands are the size of a human's chest.

[nastygram]

[dude]

pics or it didn't happen

[notgneiss]

[there's a ten minute pause before shale sends a picture of her hand on some very worried looking person's chest.]

[nastygram]

LMAO HOLY SHIT

wtfffff

jfc i am legit speechless rn

[notgneiss]

what did it expect?

[nastygram]

""""It"""" did not expect you to feel up a stranger like damn
Commitment to the brand

props

[notgneiss]

i did not feel them up.
i only put my hand on them.
they did not go up at all.

[nastygram]

omg i have got to invent urbandictionary for you mfers like yesterday

did he piss himself

[notgneiss]

yes.

[nastygram]

lmaoooooooooooooooooooo


ok i changed my mind
you are my new fav bitch

[nastygram]

new way to use technology
start an insta of you just FREAKING THE SHIT out of dudes

you will have a mega following in like 1 wk

[notgneiss]

i like this idea, but i don't know what an "insta" is.
will it help me with this?
seeing as it clearly does know.

[nastygram]

ok i appreciate your pcness but chill

insta = instagram
i'm sure they have some STUPIDASS offbrand name for it here

are you asking me to be your social media coordinator or smthn bc, no
but i WILL make an account and give you the pw just so i have the extreme pleasure of giving you a big ole follow for this shit

[notgneiss]

that is acceptable.
it will need to show me how to use it, as this technology is still a little beyond me.

[nastygram]

how are you texting btw

serious question

[notgneiss]

secret.