video - ya'll suck

[notgneiss]

I come from a world called Ferelden.

[stated plainly. shale doesn't want this to be a long or fancy post. she just has a few things to say.]

It's much like many worlds I've heard of while here - only... "medieval." I've taken that word to mean a hilariously backward world full of moronic humans who would probably believe you if you told them the sun was blown out by the Maker at night.

[she shifts slightly, the rune on her forehead glowing dimly.]

I find this amusing; even though I am from the medieval world, I think the humans in this technology-laden one are the exact same as the smelly morons I was surrounded by for almost thirty years. They have the same problems. They react the same way to hardships. They squeal when they see violence. I've even seen stories where another race is amazed to see humans still alive because they're so primitive. All written by humans, of course. They did the same in Ferelden.

[if anyone's expecting a 'but' they'll be very disappointed. honestly, shale's mostly just being a grumpy gus because her pals aren't here.]

It's quite pathetically self-aggrandising. Has there yet to be any one of you born with a modicum of self-awareness? It's been millenia.

Comments

[nastygram]

it's a date babe ✌
give me a few

[notgneiss]

why do humans keep asking me on dates?
stop that.

[nastygram]

chill out Literal Lisa
it's a saying
means absolutely n o t h i n g

[notgneiss]

oh.
good.
the other one seemed very genuine about it, even after i murdered it.

[nastygram]

wtf like for real murdered
or is that just another cute turn of phrase

[notgneiss]

for real.
it got better.

[nastygram]

o ok


jfc that is a level of savage i aspire to be

[notgneiss]

:)

[nastygram]

right on

ok i got your 1 pic uploaded
un is pusha_s i'll dm u the pw

send me at least 2 more pics
i want to build this brand rn

[notgneiss]

what does pusha_s mean?
give me a minute.

[notgneiss]

[PIC ONE: shale lifting a terrified looking jogger by the hoodie.]

[notgneiss]

[PIC 2: some poor man pushed against a hot dog stand.]

[nastygram]

omfgggggg i am pissing myself
these are F I R E

[nastygram]

pusha t is a rapper
doesn't push people but YOU do

i'm giving you some pop culture reference cred
if you're going to have an insta name it either has to be your name or something to make people lol

trust me ok

[notgneiss]

[...shale understood SO LITTLE of that message it's genuinely a little irritating.]

as it says.
i do not trust it, but i will allow this.

[nastygram]

thnx bitch

you gotta pretend these pics fit shale's descriptions of her pushing i did my best

[nastygram]

OK OK OK

@pusha_s

pw is PUSH2
interface is v intuitive and literally designed for old people so you should be just fine
follow my # example
look at all those followers u got already and feel good

[Each pic is cleverly hashtagged and captioned like so and has already garnered several likes. Shale the social media mogul come throoooooough.]

EXPIRES LOUDLY!!!!!

[notgneiss]

[there's a long pause. presumably while shale tries to figure out how to use it.]

i like this.
there are so many humans following me!

[nastygram]

hell yeah there are bitch they love you
keep this up and you will be uncontested INSTAGRAM QUEEN



(that's a good thing btw)

[notgneiss]

i've never had an army before. i don't think.

[nastygram]

awesome i am 13948234x more excited to see what happens next