(no subject)

[revolutionrocks]

[Video; open]

[Hello imPort network, there's a pile of rocks peering at you, albeit one with discernible facial features and limbs—one of which is being waved in a friendly fashion. When the rock-pile speaks, it's with a high lilting, almost delicate-sounding voice, polite and amiable, with an accent reminiscent of New Zealand, although given his physiology, it's probably unlikely he's actually from there. All-in-all, it sounds a bit incongruous coming from a rather formidable-looking stone man, needless to say.

He reels off the following as if it's a well-practiced speech-]

A lot of you are probably thinking, 'Is there a big pile of rocks talking to me right now?' If that's indeed what you're thinking, then you'd be correct. But just to elaborate on that, I'm also a Being. Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Korg, lately of the planet Sakaar, originally from the planet Ria, used to hang out for a while on one of Saturn's moons. I'm a Kronan, but you needn't be alarmed, as I'm not here to conquer Earth and impose a military dictatorship, which some of us have attempted to do in the past. Possibly more than once. So. Sorry about that?

[There's a small pause while he gives the screen a heartfelt remorseful look.]

Right then. Moving on.

Stop me if you've heard this one– 'What did the alien say to the garden?' 'Take me to your weeder!'

Just a little invasion joke for you. [tee hee]

Oh and also, I'm looking for a friend of mine—his name is Miek and he's a three-foot-tall insect with knives for hands, who may or may not be laying piles of eggs.

Comments

audio;

[uzumaniac]

[Well... honestly all that was pretty helpful. He's getting used to people other than humans, even if he's only ever been talking to people through the network. Why should he leave his apartment? But any extra questions here, about Korg's race, where he came from and what not, are quickly answered before he can find the words to ask. Instead, he thinks on the more important part-]

I haven't seen your friend Miek on the network, can they speak or use a phone at all to text?

audio;

[revolutionrocks]

Come to think of it... probably not? So I reckon this would elicit more of a 'Spotted Somewhere' kind of response.

video

[ghoulking]

Small jokes are always a good way of winning everyone's hearts. [ maybe not everyone. Maybe just Kaneki. look kaneki loves puns ] Do you have more?


I haven't seen someone like that around, however the communicator has a list of all imPorts currently here. Perhaps you'll find his ID on that list.

[revolutionrocks]

There's nothing like a little humor to spark a ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy day.

Your turn, bro! [JOKE OFF]

Yeah? I'll have to keep an eye on that then.

Video

[fehus]

[have a young blond humanoid looking Being]

Where would he be likely to lay piles of eggs?

Hi, Korg. What time do astronauts eat?

Video

[revolutionrocks]

[New Doug used to have hair like that!]

I don't think he cares, especially.

Most people would say hi first, then move on to questions about eggs.

I dunno bro... when the mars bars come out?

vid

[knaval]

Hey, we're both part of races that did a lot of invading! Hi-five!

[a mood, honestly. riptide smiles.]

I thought I'd never see more inorganics, at this rate. I haven't seen your friend, but it's nice to meet you!

[revolutionrocks]

Hey, man. Hi-four! One less over here.

[oops, so much for lamenting the past oh well.]

Some sort of metal, are you?

video

[sonofgold]

Nice to meet you, Korg. ... but, let me make sure I heard you correctly. Did you say he had knives for hands?

video

[revolutionrocks]

That's correct, yeah. Miek lost most of his body, with only his torso and head remaining. They gave him a robotic exoskeleton. Sort of as a consolation prize, I guess.

Video

[bookkeeper]

Y'know, I once heard that you shouldn't take rock puns for granite. Why? Because they're pretty solid.

[ hey-o ]

Hold on, did you say you're friends with an insect with knives for hands? I didn't even know insects had hands. Uh, so, did your friend lay these eggs...?

[revolutionrocks]

Good one(s) bro! I like them, but maybe I'm just sedimental that way.

Most don't; I reckon Miek's a bit unusual that way. They're part of his robotic exoskeleton, as the rest of him looks somewhat more caterpillarish.

He has in the past, so that's conceivably a thing he could be doing right now, yeah.

[video]

[generalgrievous]

[Clearly this is no human, even though most of his face is obscured by the intimidating mask.]

This friend of yours is not of the Huk, is he?

[revolutionrocks]

[What are you talking about, he's fairly normal-looking to Korg.]

You know the Hulk? [Because how could he NOT misinterpret that, I mean really.]

But no, man—he's a three-foot-tall insect, more purple than green.

Video

[drivesadesk]

Hey, nice to meet you! I'm also from a species that's known for invading planets, so I totally know how that goes. On the bright side, no one here knows anything about our homeworlds, so they generally don't go around making that kind of assumption. I'm Jonathan, by the way.

[revolutionrocks]

Hey man, nice to make your acquaintance as well. Where're you from bro?

If they didn't already know, I just told them. So, there's that. [shrug]

video »

[onlydoubts]

Hello, Korg. That's a pretty good joke. [ anyone who doesn't love a joke is wrong. ] Sorry, I haven't seen your friend around, but I'll keep an eye out. Sounds like they'd be hard to miss.

[revolutionrocks]

Why thank you, man. [:D]

Well, Miek's a lot shorter than I am, so sometimes I miss him. I totally stomped on him once. Bit of a near-tragedy, that was.

[video]

[yaaas_queen]

[Gina looks like the bad joke affected her more than the fact that a giant rock alien delivered it.]

So it's Korg. Like corgi, but without an I?

Also, quick Q, is your friend Edward Scissorslugs here to conquer Earth? I know you said you aren't, but egg laying can be seen as a liiiiiiiiittle territorial, and police are not great at talking first when the one they're yelling at can't drop their weapons because the weapons are their hands.

[revolutionrocks]

[Let a smile be your umbrella, Gina!]

Korg, as in... Korg. But with two eyes, as you can see.

[Which he'll open as wide as he can, in illustration. Aren't you glad you asked?]

Not that he ever mentioned? [although all bets are off if comics Miek ever shows up] But he doesn't talk much, so who knows.

Ah, it seemed a little involuntary. The egg-laying, that is.

Video

[darkpants_warmfeeling]

[Jacob's chuckling in the video. After coming from a universe that features giant talking space jellyfish, a punning rock alien is something he can roll with. Especially if he's not here to establish a military dictatorship.]

'Take me to your weeder.' Hey, that's a good one. Here's one the turians have about us in my Galaxy: 'What's the first order a human commander gives at the start of an alien invasion?'

[revolutionrocks]

'Stop right there! Stop right there! Stop right there!'?

Well, that's what they might say to Hajo, anyway. He has three heads.

video

[burlyboy]

Dang. You might be the coolest looking dude I've seen come through here. And your friend also sounds extremely cool.

[ ... ]

Wait, I take that back. I forgot about Riptide. But still, second coolest looking dude! That ain't so shabby!

not here

[knaval]

[damn fuckin straight]

[video]

[batburgers]

If your job is a stand-up comedian, you should quit now to avoid the embarrassment. That was terrible.

[Even he doesn't pull out corny puns that bad.]

[revolutionrocks]

But what if my job is delivering corny one-liners? Nailed it then, didn't I?

video

[liverletdie]

[ There's just a dull, almost bored look. ]

You're from Sakaar.

[ He seems too nice??? ]

Are you sure?

[revolutionrocks]

Yeah no, 'from there' as in 'was a prisoner there for a while'?

No bro, I'm Korg.

[DAD JOKE]

[itcanwait]

Ha! That's a real gem of a joke.

Welcome to Earth I guess? I'm Tailgate, nice to meet you Korg. I...Haven't seen your friend though, but maybe he'll show up?

[revolutionrocks]

Thank you bro! I am quartz the joker.

I'd hate to lose him again so soon after getting him back. At least I didn't accidentally kill him this time. That I recall.