maskormenace | (no subject)

[Video; open]

[Hello imPort network, there's a pile of rocks peering at you, albeit one with discernible facial features and limbs—one of which is being waved in a friendly fashion. When the rock-pile speaks, it's with a high lilting, almost delicate-sounding voice, polite and amiable, with an accent reminiscent of New Zealand, although given his physiology, it's probably unlikely he's actually from there. All-in-all, it sounds a bit incongruous coming from a rather formidable-looking stone man, needless to say.

He reels off the following as if it's a well-practiced speech-]

A lot of you are probably thinking, 'Is there a big pile of rocks talking to me right now?' If that's indeed what you're thinking, then you'd be correct. But just to elaborate on that, I'm also a Being. Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Korg, lately of the planet Sakaar, originally from the planet Ria, used to hang out for a while on one of Saturn's moons. I'm a Kronan, but you needn't be alarmed, as I'm not here to conquer Earth and impose a military dictatorship, which some of us have attempted to do in the past. Possibly more than once. So. Sorry about that?

[There's a small pause while he gives the screen a heartfelt remorseful look.]

Right then. Moving on.

Stop me if you've heard this one– 'What did the alien say to the garden?' 'Take me to your weeder!'

Just a little invasion joke for you. [tee hee]

Oh and also, I'm looking for a friend of mine—his name is Miek and he's a three-foot-tall insect with knives for hands, who may or may not be laying piles of eggs.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It doesn't seem as though the A has much of a personal preference between the game and the name. It's an equal opportunity A.

Sakaar was like that. Only more because of people's tendency to perish.

Practically the same. Social media irrelevancy is like death.

[Except where it really isn't, Gina.]

Sakaar even sounds like a match up app. Grindr but for the kind of full body grappling that ends with people missing teeth.

...Kinky gladiatorial combat. [This is his ew yuk face, Gina.] Don't let the Grandmaster hear you say that.

I don't know who that it is, but with a name like Grandmaster they sound like they are a full on dramatic diva. Or part of the freemasons. Maybe both?

I reckon that's a pretty accurate description, yeah. Aside from freeing any masons that is, as his big thing is imprisoning people.

They're more into secret societies, carving stuff into stone, and pyramid schemes, but maybe that's offensive to rock people. Possible intergalactic faux pas for me.

[Although she doesn't seem very contrite, she's at least mentioning it? Maybe it's just a Kronan version of getting a tattoo of some all seeing eye.]

So if I see a network ID for Grandmaster I'll check to see if it's some alien gladiatorial overlord instead of some Kwazy Kupcakes devotee.

Oh, so they have a stone fetish? You don't see that a lot.

[Does he sound intrigued? Maybe.]

He might like those too, you never know.

If he played it, he would. Kwazy Kupcakes is insanely addictive! I've seen it infect its sprinkly frosting into the most confectionery contrary people. There's no way a guy whose whole thing is games could resist.

He does seem like the type who'd be really into sprinkly frosting, yeah. Impressed by sparkles and whatnot.

Sparkles are very impressive. Any sequin that can hold the shining glare of a spotlight like a miniature sun deserves admiration. Does he seem like a sequins dictator or a glitter thread kind?

Glitter thread I reckon? Given that very shiny bathrobe he wears all the time.

A bathrobe? [Gina looks both delighted and scandalized, the best combination.] That is some basic drama bitch couture. I'm learning intergalactic despots have so much in common with our earth ones.