THE MAJORITY REPORT: JULY 20TH, 2018

[maskormods]

THE MAJORITY REPORT: JULY 20TH, 2018What the shimmering hell is this?

SHIM SHIMMINY SHIM SHIMMINY
As heard on a radio station from De Chima:
This is your morning DJ SHOCK JACQUES, welcoming you to the morning commute! TGIF! We have a treat for you this hour, right from the throbbing heart of De Chima is the iron heart-throb himself, Mr. Tony Stark! Well, okay, we're not in the heart of the city. Just near the limits, in fact! A special place for a special interview. Stunning little portable radio tower set up here, all thanks to StarkTech. Just a little plug! You might need it, buddy! I --



... I... I... Angela, did you feel that? Like how an explosion sounds, that's what it felt -- hello? Are we still on the air? Is Stark on the line? Hello? Oh, God, oh.

My God.

I -- My -- Something is moving. Something is moving! Inside! I, God, I --



CHALICE IN WONDERLAND
As seen in major news outlets, online:
Chaos in the imPort community this month as many found themselves older or younger without being ported out. Rumour has it that the cause was a powerful magical object similar to the one that caused the incident in January. Witnesses online described seeing the imPort Lucretia ported out, leaving an object behind that was then picked up by Ken Kaneki shortly before events unfolded.

The issue was resolved in a few days, and when questioned Lucretia stated, "The Chalice has been taken care of. Nobody else will be using it anytime soon. I apologize for my role in this catastrophe, but I assure you - it's over."

HEROES FOR THE AEGIS
As seen in national news, emergency broadcast channels, posted online through official Aegis Force Bwitter:
PRESS RELEASE FROM AEGIS FORCE: This is an Emergency Warning. A large-scale dangerous incident is confirmed to be occurring in De Chima. An energy field dubbed 'The Shimmer' has spread over an estimated seven blocks on the edge of the city, and is continually expanding. People and objects who enter the field do not return, or return altered. Communications have been interrupted within the affected area, but reports of mutations and distortions of reality confirm that the Shimmer is highly dangerous. This incident is believed to be unrelated to previous temporal anomalies this month.

The source of the distortion is currently unknown. The purpose of the distortion is currently unknown. The number of people affected by the distortion is currently unknown. Reliable means to communicate within the distortion are currently unknown. Reliable means to halt the distortion are currently unknown. How far the distortion may spread is currently unknown.

Aegis Force is deploying to respond, and co-ordinating with local and federal emergency services to evacuate civilians from the surrounding area. All citizens are urged to remain calm and follow instructions on where to go. Instructions will be provided through the Emergency Alert Network. The main evacuation point is the De Chima Porter Base. BE ADVISED: if the Shimmer spreads to the De Chima Porter Base, Porter travel to and from the city will become extremely risky.

ImPort heroes are called upon to assist with this emergency. Any heroes attempting rescue and investigation efforts are urged to exercise EXTREME CAUTION around the Shimmer. Work in teams and in cooperation with emergency services. Volunteers seeking to aid evacuees can report to designated shelters being established outside the Heropa Porter Base. Anyone with information regarding this event or who is in need of aid is asked to contact Aegis Force. Sharing information freely is critical to understanding and resolving this crisis.

Citizens who are unable to leave are advised to remain in their homes and stay away from any doors and windows. Do not panic. Do not open your doors. To anyone in the Shimmer who can see this message: do not lose hope. Help is on the way.

SAY WHAT YOU MEME [CW: DISMEMBERMENT AND MUTILATION]
As seen in Maurtia Falls news, circulated more widely by imPort fan-blogs and social media:
Defeated supervillain and continual attention sponge Count Dooku has gone viral yet again, after a pair of Maurtia Falls teenagers uploaded footage of the Count lying bloody and filthy on ground of a subway station, missing his right hand and right eye and with a broken sword near his feet. As Dooku moaned in pain and weakly berated the 'fools' for not calling an ambulance, the two boys filmed him with their smartphones and uploaded the footage to the Internet, where it swiftly became fodder for gifs and dance remixes. Memes of 'Devastated Dooku' are appearing on forums with captions like 'when you fail a test' or 'TMW you realize you're getting a charley horse.'

After receiving eventual medical attention, Dooku publicly accused his former subordinate General Grievous of assaulting him as part of a vendetta. However, no arrest has yet been made. The Maurtia Falls Police Department declined to comment on the 'ongoing investigation', but a source stated off-the-record that 'There's no solid evidence, and Dooku can't exactly be taken at his word, y'know? We've all got other priorities than chasing vigilantes anyway, and let's face it: it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy," while smoking a pipe in a meaningful manner. Dooku was previously sentenced to two months imprisonment and two months probation for leading the 'Constellation' criminal organization, which sought to incite imPort rebellion against the government.

As an imPort, Count Dooku's nanites are expected to eventually regenerate his injuries, after a slow and painful process. When asked his opinion on whether such violence is justified by Dooku's crimes, Daniel Omar only sent this image in response. Omar's wife Amita was murdered by Dooku earlier this year, and he has previously spoken against the Count's light sentence.

LA CROIXNYISM
As heard on normal radio ads from the same station as the breaking news announcement:


THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS
As heard on an obscure NUMBERS STATION:
23-5 20-18-9-5-4 20-15 23-1-18-14 25-15-21



CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH to IRIDESCENT.

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