video | ❝ who let the dogs out ❞

[quickfingers]

[It's a video; Peter sits at his coffee table which has been arranged to look like a tiny, inefficient desk with a piece of posterboard for a background that spells out:

ROOTBEER MAXIMOFF-DARK: PAWS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTI0N
MAURT1A FALL'S NEXT FURRY AMBASSAD0R.
(N0T THAT KIND OF FURRY)

Because her campaign slogan is still a work in progress. Also they ran out of sticky alphabet letters so, hence the numeric substitutions. Peter pretends to hang up a landline phone that is about as era dated as he is, with an 'Oh, didn't see you there' fake-smile at the camera. (Which jiggles, someone evidently laughing behind it.)]

Hello there. Salutations.

[Channeling his fake-official, slightly-Marchesque tone of voice he's in a t-shirt but wearing a tie nonetheless and raises his brows before hesitating a second. He hasn't thought this through. His eyes scream that he's forgotten his lines. Because he's forgotten his lines, and staring at Odin isn't helping. Thanks, buddy, just keep hand gesturing for him to continue. That really, really helps?]

Uh. So, you may be wondering about the new contender for the Ambassador position of Maurtia Falls, well do I ever have a... tail for you.

[He reaches down into the space between the coffee table and sofa, pulling up a furball in a cone whose tongue is out and ears up and alert. She's dressed to the nines and sits pretty, right on top of all his 'paperwork'. Which if you look closely are mostly adverts for Porter Pizza and dickbutts drawn on ruled sheets.]

Rootbeer Maximoff-Dark has been around longer than some of us. She's seen some shit? She came to me through the route of an old friend, who I think inherited her from an Import before him. And like any of us, she lives in this city and is affected by everything that goes on here. Same as every native who walks these same streets. Living in an Import household, she's gotten a unique view of both sides of life.

[It's really a joke application but there's truth to what he got on his mind, things that have been bumping around his head like a pinball. He didn't have it in him to go out and put himself on the line directly, but maybe that's why he signed Rooty up all the same. She won't win, but at least he'll feel like he put something out there. Peter blinks, still struggling without his lines so might as well be blunt:]

Sure, she won't be able to do a lot of her duties personally but what am I doing these days, anyway? If you vote for her, I'll do my utmost to enact her strict plan of: water bowls at every public business, better funding to pet shelters and a program for pets and other Import belongings to ensure they're rehomed, reused or recycled and not just abandoned. Odin'll help me co-parent her through her ambitious journey, so honestly? You're not just electing one Ambassador. You're kinda picking three? And one. Is a dog. Can't get better than that, folks.

[Fingerguns? Chk chk noise? He looks strained and awkward still, the True Maximoff Way.]

AMA in the replies? Also, uh. She's fine. The cone's just because she got her booster shot and likes to eat her own ass.

[The video concludes with a cut to this astounding presentation.]

Comments

[shadowglitter]

[ Odin turns the camera on himself, screaming into the lens. ]

WATCH THE PRESENTATION!!!!!

[ -- and oh, okay, back to Peter. And Rooty. He cracks a grin, slightly nervous. Mostly excited. ]

I think that went pretty well? How are you feeling?

[quickfingers]

I forgot all my lines and I almost said fuck me silly, but. Good?

[Wait.]

Are you still...

video;

[grandtheftequine]

Allow me to give my professional respect to such a clearly qualified candidate. Anyone who can eat her own ass is absolutely the leader we need, and I look forward to serving as her deputy.

[ This is all deeply, deeply stupid, but it's making him laugh. At least someone else is enjoying it, right? ]

[quickfingers]

[Peter tries to keep a straight face but his lips twitch and his nostrils gently flare.]

Oh, she eats it pretty religiously. Girl's flexible? But please, professionalism here Mr. Delos. Flirting can come later.

[video]

[cleptes]

[After spending a few weeks with Peter and Odin in space, this doesn't surprise Bela in the least. A few years ago she would have openly mocked but not today...

...maybe a light tease.]

Quick question - how long did it take you to put together that magnificent presentation?

[quickfingers]

Our team put it together in about fifteen minutes, as we are highly efficient individuals.

We couldn't figure out how to make the text glow, though. Bummer.

video;

[recommendations]

[ Momo is ...torn. On the one hand, that is a very cute dog. On the other, ]

An animal can't hold political office!?

[ Not unless it's a hyper intelligent animal who can speak, like her school's bear/mouse principal. But that doesn't look to be the case here. ]

[shadowglitter]

[ offense from the camera crew/support team immediately ensues ]

Prove it.

[quickfingers]

Just because it hasn't yet been done does not mean it's impossible.

Plus like. I'll interpret. It's cool? It's cool.

[Video]

[generalgrievous]

Is this a joke?

[quickfingers]

[FAKE! SHOCK!]

How could a campaign this well designed be anything but taken seriously?

video

[cigarbribery]

[This post is just Foggy shaking with laughter on the network, sorry guys if you wanted him to take this even the slightest bit seriously. He holds up a finger and opens his mouth as if to say, I have a question, what the fuck, but then he just dissolves into a fit of laughter again.]

[quickfingers]

Hey Fogs. Hey. Hey there.

text

[h2no]

w hat

[quickfingers]

u'd vote for her right

[shadowglitter]

?

video

[knaval]

This is kind of a weird way to handle the impending apocalypse, but I guess that dog is better than any of the other people. You have my vote.

[he's also biased because friends.]

[quickfingers]

Weird, unique, inspired. All relevant words.

But thanks man, Rooty appreciates the support. Don't you, girl?

[Yip!]

She does.

video

[mortalweapon]

By my calculations, she is likely the most trustworthy candidate at this point.
Also the one with the most realistic and achievable plan.

[shadowglitter]

Prettiest hair, too.

[ hiiiiiiiiiiiii daaaaaaaaanger ]

Can... can she count on your vote?

[quickfingers]

Why thank you, Dange. [Still working on nicknames.]

She strives for transparency. And milkbones.

( video )

[determinans]

She appears to be a very good girl. These seem like very important priorities, as well. [ doggos are superior to humans, it's just the truth. ]

[quickfingers]

Oh yeah, she's got it all mapped out in her tiny little head.

[He laughs.]

I mean, she also is forward thinking for the Import community, naturally, where as instead of making a dozen promises she'd like to field what the citizens of the city themselves are looking for. You live in the Falls, by any chance? Or have any thoughts on it currently?

[exceptionalthief]

'Seen some shit.'

Yes, I'll bet she has. Probably rolled in it too.

[quickfingers]

Please refrain from any and all attempts to kinkshame this Ambassador candidate.

video - he speaks dog I'm sorry

[fuckingpassw0rd]

[This is probably the stupidest shit he's seen in his life. But cats and dogs have been voted as mayors in cities before, so he'll just get to the point.]

What about you, Rootbeer. Do you really want to do this? It's a pretty big responsibility.

[Advantage; he speaks dog.]

it's chill

[quickfingers]

She's aware of the challenges, but she's a very resourceful girl.

[Peter leans and tugs Rooty more center frame, where she wags her tail and looks at the screen. Rootbeer yips; loosely translatable to 'I want the bacon', as she was promised.]

She's seen quite a lot happen in her life so far, haven't you? Good girl.

[hellosirs]

Honestly, she has a very sensible platform!

[quickfingers]

She has her four feet solidly on the ground, head full of possibilities.

Wait. Wait. Paw-sibilities.