text;

[recommendations]

Dearest ImPorts, I require your advice.

Sixteenth birthdays are very important in America, right? That's what I've heard, anyway. You always see stories of girls celebrating their Sweet Sixteen.

Well my Sweet Sixteen is in three days, and I haven't a clue how I should celebrate! Please help me!!! Should I host a party? Should I bake or buy a cake??? Which flavor cake is best? Should I ask for the day off from my internships? Would that be horribly inappropriate??

Thank you in advance, I really am clueless on this matter...

Comments

[yaaas_queen]

👏 get 👏 urself 👏 a 👏 quinceañera 👏

they go 1 yr early & they go hard

[recommendations]

Aren't I too old? I'm turning 16 in three days...

[yaaas_queen]

ur only as old as u say

make up imPort bs about dif earth cycles if u want 2 justify

or sob story like "I never knew dulce de leche, this is my last chance"

it's ur b-day u can 😭 for exceptions if u want 2

trust me it works 👍

[recommendations]

That's so dishonest and selfish, though!!!

A hero can't just LIE to get what they want?!??!?

[yaaas_queen]

u can say dishonest

except

do u really REMEMBER the day u were born?

plausible deniability

who would call babies liars??

[There's also a small pause as Gina tries to think of how not to be selfish, which is lesser known territory, before typing:]

also u can share the cake if ur worried abt being selfish

[recommendations]

[ what... is this woman talking about? ]

I was already planning on sharing the cake... It would be rude to have all the cake to myself at a party.

[ She'll eat a whole cake by herself on a regular day, though. ]

[yaaas_queen]

maybe rude if only 1 cake

so u can always ask 4 2

I meant for two, but u can ask for 42 idk how u live ur life

is the party going 2 b 🔥🔥🔥?

cuz if theres a crowd u r better off with more

[recommendations]

I'm not sure what you mean by 🔥🔥🔥 ...

Forty two cakes might be a little excessive, and more than my current budget can withstand, even if I make them myself.

I think two should be sufficient, don't you?

[yaaas_queen]

it'll be lit

on fire

like "da roof is on fire we don't need no water"

blazing saddles of fun

but if u r ❌💲💲💲 then 2 works

small crowds = EXCLUSIVE