text

[calloused]

[ introductions are for losers, so Derek doesn't include one. just gets right down to what he wants. ]

Started a business. Hiring people. Tell me if you need a job.
Full time or part time positions available. Branches are located in Heropa or Maurtia Falls. Be nearby, or at least willing to travel.

Requirements:
- Unaffected by blood, bones, etcetera.
- Capable of dealing with emotional turmoil.
- Stamina in spades.
- Likes animals.
- Not an asshole.

That's it.

[ that's it. no further explanation. no sympathy for anyone dealing with roomba drama. zero shame ]

Comments

[fehus]

i'm not sure i'd watch that version of the movie. i feel like it's just some dude yelling at a barista in starbucks for an hour and a half.

[bragnificent]

whatre u talking about thatd be a great movie
just a guy on his way to a hockey game, face already painted
so no wonder why hes in a hurry

[fehus]

holy sif you're right.
just a guy screaming at the sidelines of a junior league baseball game, veins bulging out of his neck while his son sits on the bench contemplating how to tell his dad he'd rather be in drama club

[bragnificent]

ok now youre ruining it

[fehus]

too close to home?

[bragnificent]

not every movie needs to be about how some athlete actually hates sports
its always either some dumb metaphor or like
we get it, ur bitter cuz u were unpopular in middle school

[fehus]

i think the problem is you just don't get dramatic dads yelling disruptively at middle school productions of "oklahoma." they should, it's a bad play.

[fehus]

also the mighty ducks movie franchise exists which makes those other movies look like bullshit.

[bragnificent]

hockey movies? yes
sports movies? theres no way

[fehus]

you're right. i forgot about air bud.

[bragnificent]

and it better not happen again

[fehus]

lmao. never.