text

[calloused]

[ introductions are for losers, so Derek doesn't include one. just gets right down to what he wants. ]

Started a business. Hiring people. Tell me if you need a job.
Full time or part time positions available. Branches are located in Heropa or Maurtia Falls. Be nearby, or at least willing to travel.

Requirements:
- Unaffected by blood, bones, etcetera.
- Capable of dealing with emotional turmoil.
- Stamina in spades.
- Likes animals.
- Not an asshole.

That's it.

[ that's it. no further explanation. no sympathy for anyone dealing with roomba drama. zero shame ]

Comments

[fehus]

who cares what old folk think? they're old and lame and probably don't wear modern underwear or shower.

[crassidy]

or no wat a computer is. get with the bleedin times

[fehus]

can you imagine being 1000 years old and thinking sundials are cooler than memes? pretty dumb.

[crassidy]

idk how they exist in this world without understandng vines tbh

[fehus]

RIP vine. wish you were immortal

[crassidy]

alwys immortal in r hearts and r memories. thank fuk theres still imortals like u around

[fehus]

thanks, i try. hopefully i'm still moving with the times when i'm 120.

[crassidy]

u will, lad. only thing u can do. besides all ths new technolgy yoke has made things 100x more interestin. when i was a chisler they didnt even have tv. what sorta life is that??

[fehus]

man who knows. i love reading and stuff but tv taught me everything i need to know about teen parties, peer pressure, and following your dreams.

[crassidy]

trust me, today is always bettr than yesteray

[fehus]

i can't tell if that's ominous or uplifting.

[crassidy]

i been tryng to work that out for liek 80yrs now

[fehus]

goodie

[crassidy]

lol. and wat shite is this about u and nature? the feck is the point in nature wen u got perfectly good cities full of drugs and booze and shady activities?

[fehus]

i like nature. and i'm taking a break from my life of crime and mayhem. i live in the woods like a witch here. you like candy? get in my oven.

[crassidy]

i would get in ur over for the right kinda candy

[fehus]

nerds?

[crassidy]

throw in som mega warheads and poping candy and u got urself a deal

[fehus]

popping candy is the worst? how did you get to 120 making such bad mouth decisions?

[crassidy]

uhm fuk u?? popping candy is teh best. ur to young to understand

[fehus]

they're the candy equivalent of balloons that suddenly pop or bugs that got into your sleeping bag.

[crassidy]

or rly awesome shite. they mix so good with some of the strong shite

[fehus]

starting to get the impression you don't remember all 120 of those years...

[crassidy]

lol ud be right there. i dont even no wat day we're on most times

[fehus]

guess today! i'll give you a hint: it ends with "day"