Anon text;

[hellraiser02]

How many people do you remember? Do you remember all the people who shaped you? Are you living for anyone, at this moment?

Memories are precious things in this place. We can lose them easily, and they can be returned on a whim. We have no control over it. You can record them, leave them behind here, but even if you hear or read them again, they may not have any meaning to you. Maybe you won’t feel anything at all when reading them, or having someone relay them to you. In that case, aren’t you reading someone else’s memories rather than your own?

Would you be happier to forget them? Or would you want to be able to remember them, no matter what?

As for me, I want to carry these memories with me, for better or worse, for as long as possible. It’s how I’ve always lived anyway. People that have died, people that have left. People that saved me, people that hurt me. For me, it’s a way of living. I know that eventually, I’ll leave this place, and I’ll forget some of them, but I don’t mind bearing their weight for now.


(Sorry. Another rambling, self-indulgent 'in memoriam' post. I hear these are passé, now.)

Comments

anon text

[khajidont]

Someone else, sure. But usually not enough that they'd want to forget everything leading up to that point.

It's all speculation though right? We don't have control over it here. The people that don't want to forget just forget anyway. We make do

Re: anon text

[hellraiser02]

Maybe.

I think I've met someone like that, but even if someone wanted to forget, other people might remember in their place. Your burden just gets passed on.

Even when we know we're going to lose everything when we leave this place- even if we know that someday, no one may know the meaning of it- we leave something behind, whether intentionally or not. You'd have to erase everything.

anon text

[khajidont]

That's what I keep trying to tell people. It's why what we do here isn't meaningless even if we do forget about it.

What brought this on anyway?

Re: anon text

[hellraiser02]

I agree with you, but I think for some people that knowledge only makes it more painful to know. Like you're spending your time waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Let's say I had a change of perspective, recently.

[khajidont]

Maybe. Two sides of the same coin, right?

Something happen to you or to someone you know?

[hellraiser02]

Myself. A gift, courtesy our Cosmic Lady of Grace.

(It was a shitty gift.)

[khajidont]

Oh.

You lost your memories huh?

[hellraiser02]

[...Well, Jaime wasn't wrong. Ever since Duo had (apparently) Ported into this place a handful of months ago, it had been a slow and dawning realization the level of knowledge he-- or another him-- had been withholding from himself. Cordoned-off sections of notes, labeled with warnings that curiosity killed the cat... Who wouldn't be apprehensive?]

[That was certainly part of the impetus for this post; realizing the depth of his own self-deception, realizing how far he might go to erase his own memories. That, coupled with the nasty new ability he's been given, drudging up unpleasant memories of what, to him, was only months ago...]

It seems a part of me wishes I had. No dice.

I guess she must not have liked that very much. But wondering why she lets some of us stay or go has never been a fruitful effort, huh?

[khajidont]

A part of you wishes you had?

You can be more specific, you know. You're anonymous. That's kinda the point