Anon text;

[hellraiser02]

How many people do you remember? Do you remember all the people who shaped you? Are you living for anyone, at this moment?

Memories are precious things in this place. We can lose them easily, and they can be returned on a whim. We have no control over it. You can record them, leave them behind here, but even if you hear or read them again, they may not have any meaning to you. Maybe you won’t feel anything at all when reading them, or having someone relay them to you. In that case, aren’t you reading someone else’s memories rather than your own?

Would you be happier to forget them? Or would you want to be able to remember them, no matter what?

As for me, I want to carry these memories with me, for better or worse, for as long as possible. It’s how I’ve always lived anyway. People that have died, people that have left. People that saved me, people that hurt me. For me, it’s a way of living. I know that eventually, I’ll leave this place, and I’ll forget some of them, but I don’t mind bearing their weight for now.


(Sorry. Another rambling, self-indulgent 'in memoriam' post. I hear these are passé, now.)

Comments

[fauxmarth]

I've never met a person before who could recall every memory of their life. I think, even without the goddess' intervention, it is in our shared natures. Perhaps even spanning worlds.
That's part of why those memories are so precious to us in a way, isn't it?

anon text

[hellraiser02]

Are there things in your life you choose to remember consciously? Aren't you worried you'll forget something important if you don't make the effort to do so?

Not just this world, I mean.

[fauxmarth]

Now and then, yes. I'd find it hard to be so carefree about it.

[hellraiser02]

What methods do you use, then? How do you honor the memory of people from the past, or ensure that you won't forget the important things?

Some people have diaries, for example, or they celebrate the birthdays of a lost loved one.

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[am_i_a_monster]

I remember everyone who shaped me that I'm aware of. I guess it's possible someone had an impact on me that was so small it didn't register in my memory.

I use a memory palace to help me remember certain people and to keep away intrusive memories of others. I still have some bad memories that I'd like to forget, but I can't.

I have a healing power that can help people with recalling good memories and making other memories less painful. I can't use it on myself though.

It might have told you all this before. Sorry if it's repetitive. I guess that's a risk you take being anonymous.

permaanon text

[hellraiser02]

A memory palace, huh? That's an interesting concept

I understand the utility, though.

There were things I worked hard not to see behind my eyelids again, and that was taken from me, not too long ago.

It's nice to be able to help others even if you can't help yourself. Makes it a two-way street, right?

No worries. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't interested.

permaanon text

[am_i_a_monster]

A psychiatrist taught me about memory palaces. He had a lot of tricks.

Why do you want to carry all your memories, if some of them are ones you don't want to see?

I guess it could be a two-way street. I've never asked anyone to pay it back. Unless they're buying one of my CDs. They have to pay for those.

Re: permaanon text

[hellraiser02]

Interesting. Although, I think I would rather deal with it on my lonesome than with an "expert".

[Quotes for a reason. He probably should be more careful with his biases, but...]

How about putting it this way: The experiences that shaped me, the people whose memories I'm carrying on with me- I'd never want to forget what they've shaped me into, why I live my life the way I do. But that said, no one wants their most unpleasant memories at the forefront of their minds at all times, right?

Hmmm. Not a fan of filesharing, I take it.

[codeofiron]

I want to remember.

anon text

[hellraiser02]

A lot of people want a lot of things

Knowing you won't retain any of this, is there anything that you'll do? Anything you've decided for yourself?

text

[codeofiron]

I take pictures.

Re: text

[hellraiser02]

Do you think images will retain a stronger emotional connection to those memories than a text or oral history? You’re going to forget the emotions connected to them anyway.

A physical object is good to have, anyway. I’ve kept some trinkets myself, even though I know they won’t mean anything to me later.

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[khajidont]

Have you ever actually met anyone who WANTS to forget? Even if it would be easier that way? I sure haven't.

anon text

[hellraiser02]

Believe it or not, foolishness comes in all varieties.

Though I guess it isn’t my place to judge others’ experiences.

anon text

[khajidont]

I'm not sure if I'd call it foolish. Just sad.

But all you are are the things you've been through right? Nobody wants to lose that

Re: anon text

[hellraiser02]

You've never met anyone who wants to be someone else?

Not speaking from personal experience here, mind you, but it isn't difficult for me to imagine that they exist.

Maybe that's a different problem altogether than one of memory, but terrible memories could be a contributing factor.

You're right, though. It's sad.

[bodilesswarrior]

I remember everything. Down to the smallest detail. It's just how my mind works.

Knowing I'm going to forget something is...

[Goddamn terrifying.]

If there's any way to prevent it, or reverse it, I want to find it. No matter what happens here.

Anon text

[hellraiser02]

You know, when you say it like that, it can come off as a little worrisome.

Eidetic, huh? Even though I said I’d prefer to hold onto all the memories I have, I don’t know if something like that would just drive me crazy.

[...Crazy-er, he amends, to himself.]

Re: Anon text

[bodilesswarrior]

It has its downsides. You learn to cope with them.

[...Or you don't. She's been fortunate, in certain ways.]

Have you forgotten this place before?

[dragony]

A lot; probably not; n/a; that's correct; it's almost guaranteed; probably, because that's the way humans are.

(Kinda.)

Anon text

[hellraiser02]

[Of course he was waiting for this. It even gets a smile out of him.]

Thanks for being efficient.

How about the non-humans?

[dragony]

Can't really speak for everybody else, can I?

[voice] -- hope you don't mind such a late tag!!

[pharmaka]

[ Circe has a mild voice with a strangely vague accent, somewhat European, and she speaks smoothly: ]

Can we not always lose memories easily? There are so many years I have made no use of. They are lost to me. Whatever I did then, I will never remember, because it left no mark upon me.

Those people... [ Her voice slows. ] Who have touched us, like a passing constellation in our lives, we must press them into our memories. What is beyond our control is beyond it. We can only hold as tightly as we can.

... [ Circe finally falters. ] Or that is what I think.

permaanon text - no problem!

[hellraiser02]

I think that's a different kind of loss. Regret and ennui. Ennui, is that how you'd put it?

Do you make that effort? I like to hear all the ways in which people do just that- ensure that the imprint of those they hold close is left on them.

What have you done to remember?

[pharmaka]

I'm not sure. I wasn't bored-- and there's nothing to regret. To be honest, I don't feel like I've lost anything from that time. I was simply... existing.

[ That's how loneliness manifests in immortals, Circe. But she's hardly come far enough with herself to recognize that. And she has already encountered the fact that most mortals find her lifespan difficult to comprehend.

She pauses for a long moment, wanting to deny she's done anything; she's rather a passive victim of life, most of the time, she feels. But-- ] There is one thing, [ she says slowly. ] A masterful craftsman whom I was close with a long time ago. He left me a loom made from his own hands. I wouldn't say I am a skilled weaver, but since he left me it, I weave to remember him.

Perhaps I can continue while I am here, though with a different loom.