VIDEO

[khajidont]

[ When a familiar face pops up on the network, he's looking a lot less dead than he had looked during his last appearance. In fact, he looks entirely well aside from the dark circles underneath his eyes and a slight pallor to his skin, something that can be attributed just as much to stress as it can injury. ]

Hey, everyone. It's Jaime. And the Blue Beetle, I guess. That cat's extremely out of the bag.

[ He takes a deep breath. ]

I don't really know what to say, except that the Negotiator's dead, so everyone should be safe now - not that I'm the guy you have to thank for that, but the people who did were just doing the right thing. And that I'm sorry, for everything about happened. I knew that the Negotiator was bad news, but I didn't think - I didn't think he'd do that. But I knew. And I'm sorry I didn't do anything about him sooner.

[ He glances off-camera for a moment, teeth worrying at his lip. He looks like there's something else he wants to say, but he eventually leaves the matter be. ]

If there's anything I can do to help anyone who was hurt in all that, it's the least I can do. And... thank you to everyone who tried to help, or who fought back. From me and the Scarab. He -- I -- [ He shakes his head. ] Ah, damn it.

[ Words have never been his strong point. He cuts the feed. ]

[ NOTE: This post comes a couple days after THIS ordeal! If you'd rather see him in person, whether in the hospital (the first day), at his home, or evading the press, feel free to check out my CATCH-ALL. ]

Comments

[khajidont]

I want to. If we have the power to make things better, we've got a responsibility to do it. I know that. I just...

[ He swallows. ]

You ever feel like you're making things worse?

[cassassin]

[ she nods, swallowing, still not quite looking at the camera. ]

I quit Batgirl. Before I came back. Ran from Gotham, from... all of it. Blamed myself for... a lot.

[khajidont]

Oh. Wow.

[ That's enough to shock him out of his self-pity for a moment. Maybe he hasn't made much of an effort to get to know Cassandra outside of their shared duty. That's on him.

But... being Batgirl seems to be so much of her, in a way only other capes can really understand. The idea of her walking away from it all isn't one he'd ever entertained in the past. ]

...what happened?

[cassassin]

[ jaime's got the right of it, of course--even if she's a different bat, these nights. oh she struggled, while she was gone. if she wasn't batgirl, who the hell was she? it was the first name she'd ever had. barbara may have called her cassandra before that, but never out loud. never directly. cain, wayne, wusan--none of those were names she could bear to use at the time, either.

deep breath. her voice is a little strained, when it finally comes. she's gotten better at talking about this, at least. ]

Steph died. Moved to Bludhaven, made... new friends there, started working solo... but... the Crisis. [ so. he can guess how that turned out. ] Then I had to... [ ugh. she presses the heel of her palm over her temple. ]

I died. Came back. Had to kill my mom.

[khajidont]

[ Oh. Oh.

Oh, no. ]

Oh my god. I'm - I'm sorry.

[ No wonder she quit for a while. He's quiet for a moment, trying to place how to express how sorry he is to hear that in a way that doesn't seem disingenuous, and decides not to bother after that. Cassandra can probably see it in him. ]

...but you came back from that. I've - I mean, I know we've never been close, but you've -- you know. I've never seen you shy away from anything that needed to be done.

[cassassin]

[ she's quiet for a long moment. there's a lot she could tell him here, to shed light on it, but--she's not sure it would actually help the point she's trying to make. but she did eventually bounce back from it, he's right. she's a better hero now than she's ever been, she feels certain of that. ]

I came back because... I had to. Because Bruce got hurt. [ looking down, gesturing towards the camera with one hand. ]

Jaime, I fell apart. Broke. I-- [ she sighs, looking back up towards the camera. ] I hid in England. For a month, until I... came back here. Tried to... act like everything was normal. Put the suit back on. But I couldn't--I talked to Bruce, before... very long. Told him everything. He... kept me out of the field, for a month. Space mission was a test. Saw how that went. [ she shifts her hand's position, resting her cheek on her palm. she's not done, just. struggling for the words. ] ... It took time. To feel like I... should be doing this, again.

[khajidont]

[ So when she'd got here, that's what Cassandra had been dealing with? Jaime can't say that explains a lot - he'd never gotten to know her well enough to know that much - but it explains something. It certainly explains how badly she'd taken everything that happened to Bruce. To lose one parent at your hands before nearly losing another is heinous. ]

I don't think anyone would have blamed you for stopping for good. I sure wouldn't. [ His teeth worry at his lip as he glances off screen, picking idly around the curve of his nail. ]

And you do? Feel like that again?

[cassassin]

[ she's just going to leave that first part alone because that's probably enough insight into her existential crises sorry jaime ]

I do.

[ she says it with no hesitation. ]

You can... come back from this. Maybe not all at once, and that's... okay, but. It gets easier. If that's... what you want to do.

[khajidont]

I do. Really. I don't want to do nothing.

[ But. ]

You talked about the, um - the crisis. Do you know who Max Lord is?

[cassassin]

Sort of.

[ but the look she's giving him definitely suggests she doesn't quite know the connection. ]

[khajidont]

He comes back. He came back. And nobody knows except me and the JLI - what's left of it, anyway. He made everyone else forget, and as soon as we try saying something, it's like they hear something else.

It got bad, Cass. It got really bad.

[cassassin]

Tell Oracle too.

[ that's her first response, just the enormity of what jaime's saying. she doesn't entirely grasp it but it's really bad. fuck. fuck. ]

Was this... the Crisis, or after? I was, uh--in Europe, for most of it, so I don't...

[khajidont]

After. Way after. Ted had already been - it'd been over a year.

[ He sighs. ]

I never told him. [ It was cowardice. He didn't want Ted to know about their failure, to know that his death was for naught and that his closest allies still couldn't get the man down. But it was kindness too. What good would it do? ]

Captain Atom died. Magog too. And they took a good chunk of Chicago with them. But when I came back here, before we could do anything about it -- I promised I'd make up for it here. Do better.

[ The blast haunts him. He can pretend like it doesn't, but it does - and the only person who knows is long gone.

Was long gone. And now there's Cass. ]