02 ☘ voice

[crassidy]

Alright there, lads and lasses?

[Brightly, followed by a brief slosh of liquid as he slurps something from a bottle.]

Been thinkin' a bit, taxin' as that is on me brain meats. Bout lots of things, really, but uh...

Tomorrow is me big One Twenty-- not as good as the oul Four Twenty but gotta wait another three hundred years for that one, like, so this'll have to do 'til then. I'll be acceptin' donations of the alcoholic and controlled substance variety, or money will do if you're underaged. Might even buy you a pint in return if y'find yourself around Maurtia Falls tomorrow.

Thought it might also be time to get some more poorly planned ink in the process, and I figured. Well. Maybe it'd be less poorly planned if I asked for suggestions from folks first. I'm acceptin' any and all ideas, even the truly shite ones. I mean, Christ, if you've seen me, you'd know I already got a whole lotta bad decisions inked out, doubt you lot could come up with worse. In before someone suggests a knob tat.

Comments

[slightlyoffchilt]

It would take a lot to put me at the stage where I'm begging for death. But each to their own.

[crassidy]

See, now I just think yer lacking in creativity. Think about it, torturin' someone who can't die. Could do some real twisted shite.

[slightlyoffchilt]

I'm not lacking in creativity, quite the opposite -- I'm seeing the big picture. Eventually the torturer would die.

Or is the torturer in question a vampire? Like you?

[Pointed.]

[crassidy]

Not many vampires about, mate, so it's unlikely.

[He's not falling for that suggestion. >(]

I think you got a few screws loose, if you truly don't see a problem here.

[slightlyoffchilt]

And you're offering to tighten them up?

[crassidy]

That what you need, doc? Some tightenin' up?

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well if you're offering.

[crassidy]

I think I could be a help. No bitin' though! Not the fangy sort anyways.

[slightlyoffchilt]

One might wonder what other tricks you turn.

[crassidy]

Tricks? Nah, mate, I'm not really a fan of magicians.

[slightlyoffchilt]

It wasn't a nod to magicians I was making.

[crassidy]

You callin' me a prostitute?

[Forever facetious.]

[slightlyoffchilt]

Well, no, I don't think I've paid you for the service.

[crassidy]

Yeah, you never pay me for anythin', come to think of it. Feel like I'm owed somethin' by now.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Like what?

[crassidy]

Kilo of coke wouldn't go amiss.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Mm. That is... Illegal.

[crassidy]

Is it? Huh. Explains why I got chased by the cops the other week.

[slightlyoffchilt]

This cannot be good press for your employers.

[crassidy]

Mate, have you not watched literally any show from the eighties? Lawyers and cops feckin' love the white stuff.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Oh, I'm sure. Definitely make an offer.

[crassidy]

You're the one that's meant to be buyin' me coke.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Mm, I won't be, though.

[crassidy]

Weed? You must be able to get that shite on prescription.

[slightlyoffchilt]

Are you offering to submit yourself as a patient? Again?