maskormenace | video | a finer world, part 2

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video | a finer world, part 2

[ Does this guy ever broadcast to the network from ground level?? APPARENTLY NOT because here's Apollo with yet another video message from somewhere dizzyingly high, this time sat on top of a brightly lit neon encrusted building in the heart of Jeopardy. Over his shoulder the sun sets over the desert in a picture perfect background landscape of bright pinks and oranges, but Apollo looks pensive despite the dreamy setting. He's been keeping an eye out for the so-called ghosts, you see, and maybe remembering a few ghosts of his own in the process. ]

An old friend once told me that saving the world is no good if we leave it the way we found it. She said 'saving the day shouldn't be the same as preserving the status quo'. Because what's the point in saving the world if you make no effort to change it? To make it better than it was?

That's why I joined her team, back home. I wanted to save the world and change it for the better. None of us could have done it alone but as a group... [ He trails off, turning a little wistful. ] As a group we were formidable.

But I know most of the teams currently operating here - [ you know who you are ] - are all pretty much Registered-only affairs. And that's fine if you're the Registering type...

[ Apollo's expression turns grim. Or as grim as you can look when surrounded by neon pink signage. ]

Personally? I've got no intention of swearing my loyalty to the government just because they want tame superheroes. But I still want to make a difference and if being a so-called vigilante is what it takes, then... I guess we'll see what happens next.

So consider this an open call. Is there anyone else out there who's Unsettled and wants to do their bit to save the world?

[ And yeah, maybe change it a little bit too. He hopes you're happy, Jenny Sparks. ]

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Sometimes.

[ Apollo doesn't sound all that convinced. Does that even apply when your husband walks out on you, leaving you literally holding the baby? That sounds stupid and irrational, sure, but absolutely not worth it.

Apollo shakes his head. ]

I miss him too. Despite everything.

[ it's a lot easier to say after you've had a happy sort-of-ending, and he knows it. after all, he did spend about a century in the worst misery of his life. so. ]

Despite everything, that's always how it is, isn't it? Worst of all is when you start reminiscing fondly about the things that used to drive you mad, wondering if it was really so terrible...

When we were together, it was... [ GOD, all the words he wants to say are so cheesy that he can't even bring himself to say them. Apollo visibly changes his mind, swallowing whatever it is he was threatening to say and settling for: ]

It just ended badly. And it's despite that, despite everything he didn't say and didn't do - [ and didn't explain ] - I still miss him.

What did yours do to drive you mad? Was it so terrible?

[ god that's sad.

lestat is reflective, actually pausing to think about it. he's inclined to glibly mention the attempt on his life, but decides against it. after all, louis would never have done that on his own. it isn't in his nature. ]

He's inclined toward melancholy. If I have a type, it must be that. And it's hard not to take things personally, when you're vain and you love a depressive. We were both terrible to live with when we were young.

[ Apollo smiles a bit at that, despite the HORRIBLY DEPRESSING subject at hand. ]

Oh, you're vain, are you?

[ Because it's easier to focus on that bit than all the other heartbreak surrounding the entire conversation. ]

I know, I hide it very well. Just one of my many talents.

Well, at least you're self-aware enough to realise it. That's got to count for something, right?

Well, I'd hope that after two autobiographies, I might have developed some fleeting capacity for self-awareness.

Two? Next you're going to tell me they made a movie of your life as well...

Not yet! I wish! [ but look, he still has it in him to be mildly affronted by the whole existence of interview. ] Someone here actually told me they made a movie of his book, and then she told me she'd never seen it. Which was an artfully delivered killing blow, I'll tell you that much.

Ouch. I hope it had good Box Office numbers. [ Because that could have been a more painful revelation, the idea that the public find you boring even if it's not your film! ] I have to say, the worst I ever got was a few highly unflattering documentaries. Now I'm actually relieved it was only that.

Documentaries? You mean you had a film crew following you around?

No, it was stitched together newsfeed nonsense. Editorialised bullshit. The facts were just a side salad.

[ Apollo doesn't eat and even he knows that side salad is useless. Useless!!! ]

Why did he write a book? Your partner, I mean.

Oh. [ lestat laughs again, understanding. ] Tabloids.

[ a pause. the word "partner" starts a little avalanche near his heart. ]

Well. He didn't, precisely. He gave a very lengthy interview to a very surprised young reporter boy, and that interview was published as a book, and I was able to read it myself. [ a fond aside: ] He doesn't have my gift for self-aggrandizement.

As for why, I can't say. Perhaps it was a confession. Perhaps he was hoping I would find him again. Perhaps he never meant for it to be shared with the world at all, though I think he's far more clever than that. But whatever his reasoning, it led directly to my own.

[ Apollo nods slowly. Lestat seems to be able to talk so openly about it all, but if Apollo were in his shoes he'd be fucking livid if Midnighter wrote a tell-all book about them, let alone given someone entirely unrelated the ammo to write a book of their own. It feels too much like an intrusion. ]

What was it like, reading about yourself? [ He shakes his head with a shrug. ] I can't imagine it was at all accurate - it's almost like Chinese whispers, isn't it? A second hand account of someone the writer had never even met...

It was awful.

[ he laughs again, or almost-laughs, but it's more troubled now. it's all behind him, sure, and it was all for the best (mostly) but that doesn't mean it doesn't still sting, remembering it. shake of his head. ]

I hadn't seen him in years and years, over a century, actually; I had no idea where he was or if he was even still alive. I was coming out of a deep depression for the first time since he'd left me, excited to see what the new century had to offer, and then... [ he sighs, leans back in his seat. almost rolls his eyes. ] Then I found him again in the pages of a tattered paperback novel. His own words, to a stranger, about me, about what a monster I'd been, what a fool I'd acted, about how he'd loved me in spite of himself.

It made me angry, to be honest. But after that, it made me think.

[ For a moment Apollo indulges in the idea of what he would do - how he would feel - if he were in Lestat's position. If Midnighter had done that to him, after everything. An angry, ugly little fantasy that catches at Apollo's temper even while knowing that that's the last thing Midnighter would ever do to him. It's still enough to inspire a quick (and thoroughly unfair) flash of anger, deep in his chest. ]

He sounds like he was a bit of a bastard.

[ Sorry not sorry, Lestat. Anyone who does that is kind of a prick. ]

[ sharply: ] Watch it.

[ He doesn't know why that bothers him, hearing it from someone else, but it puts him on the defensive. And there's an awful little flash of guilt that comes along with it. As if he's said too much, perhaps. Truly, he doesn't want to admit that it's less than what he deserved. ]

He and I are cruel in different ways. If he's a bastard, I wonder what that makes me.

[ He lifts his eyebrows in response; the sharpness bounces off him fairly harmlessly, but it was unexpected to say the least. ]

Sorry. I should mention, I married the biggest bastard on Earth. His words.

[ It's easy to forget that not everyone throws around that word so casually. ]

And I know exactly what that makes me. [ He purses his lips briefly. ] An idiot, mostly.

[ it's a quick thing, there and then gone again. it was startling to feel it, something that sharp, when he'd been simply wistful there for so long. ]

You needn't apologize. Just — I can say that. I can say things that I'd tear another man's head off for just thinking about him. You know.

[ Or maybe not. ]

His words? [ repeated, thoughtful. and then, an olive branch of sorts. an attempt to lighten things, just a little. ] I don't know. I've been around for a very long time, and I've met quite a lot of absolute bastards. Are you sure he wasn't just trying to make himself sound more impressive? It's the sort of thing I would do.

No, no. He was.

[ Apollo doesn't want - or feel any particular need - to sugarcoat it; Midnighter's capacity for being a bastard was one of the reasons why Apollo loved him, which feels more damning for Apollo than it is for Midnighter. At least he was a bastard for a good reason (usually).

And sorry Lestat, when someone writes a tell-all book about your life, calling you a monster and a fool, it does make them a little bit of a bastard. Apollo would say as much again, but he knows better than to push his luck. He's been warned. ]

So what did you do when you read the book? Did you track him down?

Oh, I tried. No luck. It had been ten years, you see, and I had no idea if he was even still alive, or where in the world he might be if he was. I can't feel him the way I feel others; I made him, and so he's forever silent to me. That's the tragedy of what we are.

[ and he sounds almost too fond as he goes on to explain. ] You have to understand, now, how such a confession went over with others of our kind. He'd broken every rule imaginable, telling that story, showing the whole world what we were. Of course, most people didn't believe it was anything more than a tawdry paperback novel, but that didn't matter. Not to the ones who really knew. He'd made an enemy of the whole vampire world, and he had no one on his side at all.

[ privately, lestat thought it was very brave of him. it was the sort of thing he would have done himself. bold. rebellious. foolish. he'd fallen in love with him all over again, even through the righteous anger. ]

So, no. I hunted, and searched, and sought, and came up empty. And so to find him again, I decided to become a rock star.

[ Apollo shares a private smile at that. ]

A rock star! [ That's one way to get a boy back, he supposes. He follows up that thought out loud: ] Most people would just dye their hair, buy a new outfit, make the guy jealous... I think I prefer your strategy.

[ He pauses. ]

Did it work?

Oh, but I'm immortal, we don't get to have midlife crises.

[ he grins a slow, self-satisfied grin. ]

What do you think?

I think that if it were my husband, it definitely wouldn't have worked.

[ A rock star? That would have driven Midnighter away worse than ever. He smiles wryly. ]

And just so you know, you're missing out on the midlife crisis thing. It's great fun. Definitely recommend it.

[ No he doesn't. ]

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video | a finer world, part 2

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