003. video

[goldtoxicity]

Okay so like, I'm hoping this is just going to be old news but I just gotta say it, and you know what? The less people in the ER for dumb reasons the happier I am.

First things first: yeah, you can totally use duct tape to stop a wound from bleeding. But that's not going to fix the hole that's bleeding. So be sure to pay your friendly neighborhood hospital a visit before things get gross. Or just, change it? Please.

If you read something on Bwitter about some crazy health hack, it's probably not true. Also don't lie to your doctor if they can' literally sense whether or not all you've drank for the past week is cabbage brine juice. Also? Don't drink cabbage brine juice. I had one guy tell me that's how he got his toe back and he didn't believe me when I said I reattached it. Totally convinced it was a new toe he regrew like a lizard.

I really don't care why something is somewhere it shouldn't be, don't lie to me and tell me that it isn't there. Like, maybe that works on other doctors - but also don't lie to them, why do people lie? - but I can tell and it's less awkward for all of us if I don't have to point that out.

Anyway, PSA aside, I'm thinking about going out this weekend so, uh, any recommendations for clubs would be great.

Comments

Video

[janus_scholar]

Your job sounds utterly exhausting. A close friend of mine works as an ER surgeon, and she was would often tell me of similar horror stories.

Not that I haven't seen my fair share of poorly thought-out medical wizardry... We had a few instances of students deciding that super glue was a better option than the nurse's office.

[Teenagers are not that great at taking care of themselves.]

Video

[goldtoxicity]

Okay, that one I can't judge on because I definitely did that a few times as a kid. But like, yeah, I dunno what I was expecting with this job but explaining that baseline human beings don't regrow limbs to grownups was not on the agenda.

Video

[drivesadesk]

So...what's your opinion on plastic wrap as a bandage?

[goldtoxicity]

It's good for tattoos. And I hope that's all people use it for.

[drivesadesk]

Oh.

No, I definitely used it for a gaping hole in my back. It ended up being so uncomfortable I found someone with healing powers to heal it instead.

In my defense, my acid blood was eating through everything else I tried to use.

[goldtoxicity]

Acid blood is a pretty good reason to use alternate bandages, so you know what? You get points for being creative.

But also just like, as a favor? Just call me if you neeed some healing from here on out.

[drivesadesk]

Yeah. I'll do that.

I mean, even at the time I knew another healer that would heal me in a second, I just...I didn't want to tell him what happened. He seems to worry about me.

[voice]

[amarvel]

I didn't know that about duct tape. It would probably be less exhausting than relying on my telekinesis in a pinch.

[goldtoxicity]

I mean it's not foolproof but it'll keep things where they should be while you go get actual help. Just... go get actual help.

[amarvel]

That's just common sense. It's just nice to know that if I happen to have duct tape around I don't have to concentrate on making a psychic bandaid until getting medical attention.

[goldtoxicity]

I'm starting to think common sense isn't so common, y'know?

[ the dumb things people do. ]

[amarvel]

From what you've said I would come to the same conclusion. I mean, cabbage brine juice? I've heard of those weird juice cleanses but that seems a little extra.

video

[melodramagic]

Cabbage brine juice sounds disgusting.

[goldtoxicity]

Right? It does so many bad things to your body too, like, I don't get it?

[melodramagic]

You would think with all the resources available people would know not to ingest foods or liquids that actually have zero healing properties.

[goldtoxicity]

Nah. They read a thing on the internet about how cabbage brine activates your latent superhuman genes or something and no amount of basic gradeschool biology will convince them otherwise.

[ He makes a wibbly hand gesture. ]

I'm gonna start keeping a blog, I swear.

[melodramagic]

People really want to be superheroes here, don't they?

[fridgeflower]

I don't really have recommendations, but... [ Wait. He probably definitely doesn't want her around for partying purposes. Every time they do so much as talk, it turns into a least a smidge of a wreck. ] I mean, I'm considering going out as well. I don't usually lean towards full-on clubs.

[ She just turned 21 and she's still an introvert. She hardly leans anywhere. And (!!) that didn't fully amend her inviting herself anywhere. Ugh. Subject change?! ]

... Are you positive that guy wasn't an Underground Lizard Person in disguise?

[goldtoxicity]

[ is she offering to go with him? are they - is she mad? He has no idea how to navigate this friendship, but - well, avoiding it isn't doing any of them any good. ]

You wanna come with?

[ he cocks his head to the side, giving a half smile. ]

Maybe I should've left the toe off to see if it did come back on its own.

[fridgeflower]

I mean, if he could've live without it... Maybe he's a meta-human now, and he just hasn't reached his full potential.

[ But... Changing the subject back, sure. ]

And, yeah, I... I'm trying to be a little more casually social, I guess.

[goldtoxicity]

[ cons of laurie coming with: can't be an irresponsible ho and get his mind off of all the things he's trying to irresponsibly ignore

pros of laurie coming along: rebuilding friendship with laurie. ]

Cool, sounds like fun.

Video

[bodilesswarrior]

People really need to learn the difference between quick fixes and effective treatment. Including a lot of super heroes out there.

Video

[goldtoxicity]

Right? Like, it's one thing to patch yourself up so you can get to a hospital, but get to the hospital.

Re: Video

[bodilesswarrior]

And "there was another catastrophe and I forgot" is not an excuse.

video

[goldtoxicity]

See, you're sensible. Why is nobody else this sensible?