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[neganomics]

So I'm lookin' for some side jobs.

[ Negan is hanging around outside in dirty, downtown Maurtia Falls -- sitting on a park bench with a cigarette in one hand. Some drunk guy behind him pisses on a wall. It's a beautiful sight to behold. ]

This Little League shit is fun and all, but it ain't gonna pay my drinking habit. So. Anyone got anything they need moved or yanno, basic carpentry shit? I'd even consider taking on a night job if the pay's good.

[ With a sly little smirk. ]

Alternatively...if anyone wants to make a porno, I'm down. Bet there's big bucks to be had for a video with two imPorts screwing around. And far as I know, all the shit on the net is photoshopped. So imagine what they'd pay for the real deal? Damn. I'd split the profits 50/50.

[ He takes a drag of his cigarette. ]

'Course...must be 18 or older to apply. I do got some standards.

Comments

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[hellogoodhigh]

Oh yeah? You got any other standards than over 18?

[ Frankly he's curious- who just propositions complete strangers to make a porno over the network?
Isn't that better done for private inboxes and seedy back alleys? ]

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[neganomics]

Not a whole helluva lot. I mean, I'd prefer my dick to be the only dick involved....but with enough booze, hell. I can be flexible. So long as I get to be the one pitching, if ya get my drift.

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[hellogoodhigh]

Well, you play baseball, I imagine some pitching would be involved.

[ Okay, smartass comment aside? Yeah, he can respect that. ]

Still, interesting way to try and make some money. Clearly we need to get an imPort pinup calendar going or something.

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[neganomics]

I'd say a good 90% of us are attractive enough for a calendar. But then there'd be competition...and you'd probably get the younger ones taking up the 12 months. So I gotta find my niche in the dirty porn area of the internet.

[hellogoodhigh]

Pretty good idea for some extra income.

I mean, I've seen some crazy parody stuff already, so two actual imports would definitely sell.

[neganomics]

So you've been looking it up, huh? Anyone in particular?

[ He definitely doesn't judge. ]

[hellogoodhigh]

Oh, a few here and there. Certain people that have already caught my eye.

Doesn’t compare to the real thing though.

[neganomics]

Aw, c'mon. You can share the dirty deets with me. I won't tell 'em. Shit. Probably don't even know 'em.

[hellogoodhigh]

Considering you’ve already mentioned on of their parodies? Definitely have heard of them~

[neganomics]

Gonna guess Jacob, then? He's probably hung. You know what they say and all.

[hellogoodhigh]

Jacob? God no. Waaay too uptight.

But what do they say?

permavid

[killtime]

Bored again, Negan?

[neganomics]

Bored and broke. Not exactly the best combination to keep me outta trouble.

[killtime]

[ Dryly: ]

Hope you're not going to start charging me.

[neganomics]

Might be an idea, darlin'. But I'd say being with you is its own reward. Don't need money for that.

[killtime]

[ Wryly: ]

It's so romantic that you'll fuck me for free.

Come up with any good names for your sex tape?

[neganomics]

Not yet. Think I'd let the internet name it for me. 'Cause I'd be stickin' to the baseball puns otherwise. Batter Up and Balls Deep. Or Horny Homerun.

[killtime]

[ A light scoffing noise. ]

You let the internet handle that shit, you're going to end up with something ridiculous. But hey, fuck it, not like anybody watches porn for the titles. I've seen you — you'll do alright.

[neganomics]

Well that's about the sweetest damn thing you've ever said to me.

[killtime]

Aw, Negan. You make it sound like I'm so mean to you.

[ video ] » ID: Wanda Maximoff

[divaricate]

That's a range of talents to offer services for.

[ Yes, she is using her magic to float her device a few extra inches away from her than her arm would provide, and so she can have both hands free. Also, she kinda wants to see if he's bluffing about the porno offer, because it's always a hilarious time when people post this kinda shit on the network. Not that she'd not take him up on if if he's serious, mostly because she's bored and it'd be something to cross of her list of things she's never done before. ]

About the latter — it's either 'shopped or bad cosplays. Which I guess is kind of the same thing.

[ Whatever. ]

Where do we send in applications?

[ video ] » ID: Wanda Maximoff

[neganomics]

The cosplay thing is hilarious. I've seen a few. Some really put effort into acting out the part. There was this one, guess it was supposed to be Jacob and a girl version of that Hux guy. Fuckin' gold.

[ Negan has to chuckle just thinking about it. Though the chuckle dies down at her question. And heck yeah, he's serious. So he's not backing down at her question. ]

I mean, we can do a sort of informal interview right here and now 'cause damn, sweetheart. You pass the first stage of the hiring process with flyin' colors. Looks like you've got some interesting powers to boot. Bet that'd help the whole thing sell even more.

[ He makes note of that floaty phone. ]

[divaricate]

Ha. [ She can only imagine that one. ]

Oh, this? Yeah, I've found some pretty great uses for magic during sex, honestly. I'm creative like that.

[neganomics]

Yeah? You have just piqued my curiosity. What sorta things have you done?

[divaricate]

As far as my imagination can take me. Creating different sensations, levitating in the middle of the fun, great for bondage if you're into it, need I go on?

[neganomics]

You don't need to go on, but I am hella turned on hearing about it so I definitely wouldn't complain if you did.

[divaricate]

I prefer hands very much on demonstrations, as they're more effective at making my arguments for them.

[neganomics]

Well, darling, when abouts can you get your hands on me? 'Cause I gotta say, I am definitely intrigued.

[divaricate]

Whenever you tell me you're free. The benefits of being able to shuffle my own schedule around.

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[choosetruth]

Here's hoping your Little League kids don't know how to use the internet.

[Georgia's expression is pretty consistently disapproving, but today it's even more disapproving than usual.]

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[neganomics]

Think they'd have better things to do than googling their Coach. And better porn to find, too. Their Moms, however, are more than welcome to watch and enjoy.

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[choosetruth]

How the fuck have you not been fired?

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[sweetbirthdaybaby]

That's some real business savvy you got going there. You, uh... you got a whole production going or what?