SECOND TRANSMISSION - HEARD ON RADIO;

[redcosmedic]

[ On radio stations throughout the various Porter cities, a new talkshow is being advertised: ImPort Diagnosis. When it finally airs, the announcer gives his usual patter to hype it up. ]

"We're pleased to introduce a new weekly segment to our schedule lineup! Please welcome your new insider source to the imPort community and the host of ImPort Diagnosis, Knock Out!"

[ Knock Out's voice comes on, smooth and unflappable; if anything, he definitely seems like he's used to carrying a one-sided conversation and not unnerved by the thought of an audience. ]

Let's dive right in: if you've ever wondered whether we imPorts spend time thinking about Big Concepts, you're in luck: there's been a spate of imPorts pondering those very things lately. From anguished musings about justice to questioning one's true purpose, from finding one's life trajectory to the never-poignant matters of existence, imPorts deal with the same existential concepts as you do, our most gracious world hosts.

And why is this important to know? Because sometimes imPort actions can seem discordant with the image of touchless paragons that they are to the public. And it is this doctor's opinion: that is a good thing. It reminds both sides that they're not so different from one another. A touchstone of commonality, as it were.

[ It's clear by the way Knock Out's waxing poetic that he likes the sound of his own voice just as much as the radio show producers are hoping listeners do. ]

Finally: it's been a rough month for your favourite imPorts. Next time you see one of them on the street, cheer them up with a hug. Preferably in public, and persistently. Don't let your heroes suffer alone!

[ He's not sorry. ]

Comments

Not-A-Tag

[numberthree]

Allison Hargreeves actively turns and frowns at the radio playing, stopped from where she's been working on putting newly acquired things for the kitchen, in the house she and a few of her siblings have moved into only this past week. The last thing in the world she wants anyone on the street doing is hugging her.

Publically.

And.

Persistently.

Not a tag

[by_candlelight]

[ Ruby had been on break when she heard the radio. She had a good feeling on which posts the voice had been speaking. She had just been swallowing some food when she heard the suggestion to hug imPorts publicly and persistently, and well, it was safe to assume the food didn't quite go down the right way.

As she was coughing, a co-worker at the diner smacking her back to help her out, she was making plans to find this Knockout fellow and maybe punch him a few times.

At least she could rest assured that with her reputation being little more than 'broke down in a race on the moon because space is scary' and 'will eat nearly anything regardless of advisability' she probably wasn't anyone's favourite imPort.

... Right? ]

Not a tag either

[hadthehighground]

Obi-Wan was enjoying a meal after a fencing lesson at one of his favored restaurants when he heard this broadcast coming over the radio. He didn’t pay it much mind, though found the advice to be... unusual.

He would forced to pay it mind though as several faces turned toward him, causing the Jedi to pause mid chew to stare back. His expression being one of a deer in headlights as a few people got up from their chairs and approached.

Oh... oh no.

One man reached out his hand towards Obi-Wan, which he reluctantly took in a handshake. Only to suddenly be pulled out of his seat into a bear hug. “Sorry you’ve had such a hard time, mate! Things will get better, yeah?”

All he could do was sputter some sort of incoherent reply as he was indeed hugged publicly and persistently.

A young girl also coming up to throw her arms around him. “Sorry you died last year! We’re glad your back though!”

This would go on for quite awhile till just about everyone in the diner had their turn at hugging poor Obi-Wan.

Call in;

[bridalrose]

Oh, hello. How odd to hear a voice you know on the radio!

Are you really a doctor? I didn't know that.

Re: Call in;

[redcosmedic]

An excellent medium for me, if I do say so myself.

Of course I'm really a doctor. Chief Medical Officer aboard my ship, I'll have you know.

[bridalrose]

Here, though... Wouldn't you be more like a mechanic?

[redcosmedic]

Not really. Mechanics fix inanimate things, I fix people, they just happen to be inorganic.

Though I really should get more practice with organics. It's just so hard to find volunteers.

[bridalrose]

You'll just have to conscript people, I suppose.

[private text - not a call in]

[the_horror]

Wow, did you really just put a hit out on every imPort to be hugged by tons of strangers? Someone's going to die and you know it. °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

text;

[redcosmedic]

What can I say? I'm improving relationships between imPorts and the locals.

text;

[the_horror]

You say that, but then someone's going to hug my brother and I can't see that going well. This should be an adventure.

Re: text;

[redcosmedic]

I should think the imPorts could use something so tame as this as an adventure, given what's been happening lately.

[the_horror]

I'm not so sure some imPorts are going to find this adventure of strangers hugging them as, well, a good adventuring.

When you go out again, keep count of how many try to hug you. Let's see how far your words have made it to others.

Meanwhile, as much as I like hugs, I'm ghosting for a while. Thanks.

[voice]

[viciousmaukery]

[At some point in time, whenever Knock Out takes callers into his segment, a lilting voice calls in:] Not that I'm not a big fan of affection myself, and I do love a good hug every now and then, but that sounds like a fantastically bad idea waiting to happen.

Also, for all you enthusiastic huggers out there, just in case someone would like to suffer alone and refuses your hug, I'm free, and for two dollars I'll even do a tarot reading. A little bit of cheer deserves to go both ways, wouldn't you say, Mr. Knock Out?

Re: [voice]

[redcosmedic]

[ Knock Out's enjoying the reactions very much, but this one isn't what he'd have expected, and he likes it. ]

A capitalist after my own spark! Hear that everyone? This one will not only take your unwanted hugs but make yours count for every penny.

[viciousmaukery]

Oh, the hugs are free, the tarot readings aren't. Should've made that clearer. I have to pay for lunch too.

[And he might be an asshole sometimes, but Molly's not going to not tip some poor waiter. May as well be a capitalist, whatever that is.]

I'm usually at the Medieval Festival, just ask around for Mollymauk Tealeaf. Or find whoever's the most colorful and most obvious imPort in the crowd, chances are it's me. [There's the sound of fingernails tapping against a wooden surface, before Molly adds:] Got any more fantastic ideas?

[redcosmedic]

But of course.

I admit I'm curious about these tarot readings myself. There were some rather pointed ones at the last Jeopardy Swear-In.

Private Text - UN: Silver (let me know if you don't want the chatspeak)

[namesaquestion]

f u

lik i need unwanted hugs
ever heard of consent?
or tat sum of us have both bad n good press????

i hope something scrtchs ur car or u ghet nerfs by the porter
yado-head

[LBR here: yado(n)-head sounds a lot better than slowpoke-head]

private text; chatspeak is fine!

[redcosmedic]

[ Now THIS was exactly the reason Knock Out set up such a scenario as he has: the reactions were priceless. ]

SOMEONE sounds jealous that they're not going to get as many hugs as they want.

Should I contract our new fill-in hugger on your behalf?

private text;

[namesaquestion]

[Just for that remark, he's tempted to do a search on you, Knock Out, and either dartkey a car or have crobat take a fly-by dump on it.]

re lik pissed off
lik i want em nyway
next ppl that come near me get punchs 2 teh head :)

no snd them all 2 archie the pkmn trainer

Re: private text;

[redcosmedic]

[ He might be surprised to learn that Knock Out's car is Knock Out himself, if Nikolai tries this approach. ]

Tsk tsk, I'm trying to improve imPort relationships with our hosts and you're threatening to punch them? That won't look very good on you.

I'm sure he'll get plenty on his own without needing yours.

[ Knock Out has only a vague recollection of who Archie is due to his being in the news recently, but it seems like a good point to needle Nikolai on regardless. ]

text;

[plentystrong]

hey just curious who are you and where can i find you

Re: text;

[redcosmedic]

Weren't you listening to the broadcast? My name is Knock Out.

[ Another happy customer? The medic is enjoying this far too much. ]

text;

[plentystrong]

appropriate since i plan to knock you out

Re: text;

[redcosmedic]

[ his dry tone works even over text: ]

How wittily clever, I've never heard that one before.

I think that may be harder than you're expecting.