001; video;

[goodtobebad]

[ The person on the video looks like he's trying way too hard to look casual. Dressed in black, with red hair that clearly has a lot of product in it, and sunglasses on indoors which just make him look like even more of a tool, he's sprawled lazily on a sofa. He sounds British*. ]

So, being kidnapped to another dimension is great and all, yippee, just what I wanted this week, good to see America is just as tedious in this dimension as in mine, but - there's really only one question worth asking, here.

Where can I get a decent drink?





[ *He's not, since Hell isn't in Britain. ]

Comments

video;

[dragony]

Most of the good ones, you'll have to go out of your way for. If you're sticking to Heropa, there's Sharkies' on the east side — not to be mistaken for Sharkey's on 4th, which is just an American diner. Shots & Pans is in Nonah; they try to push the wines more now, but it's a decent enough place to get blackout drunk. Free bread. Terrible potatoes.

You can go wrong with an Iceberg Lounge, but not as far as the drinks go. There's probably, like, twelve of them now.

Or, are you the type who'd prefer to take the whole bottle rack home? You may want to stock up, in that case. There's a lot more tedious about this place than the geography.

video;

[goodtobebad]

A chain of bars, why am I not surprised.

Thanks, though - this is a good start.

[ He just said thanks. Ugh. Might as well go all the way. ]

I'm Crowley. Anthony Crowley.

[dragony]

S...sort of? It's a little more complicated than that. I don't think any of them are owned by the same person. Sometimes a guy opens a bar, forgets about it, it gets sold, and then he reopens the same bar somewhere else. Or, something like that.

[ jamjar problems, jamjar life. She shrugs. ]

My name's Ruka. ... Just, Ruka. No surname.

So, where are you from, originally? The Porter tends to prefer Americans, but it seems like that's not you.

[goodtobebad]

Huh.

[ People always come and go, in Crowley's experience. Mayflies, that's what humans are to him. So this is no different. He waves it off. ]

I'm from... [ Hell. ] Lots of places. London, most recently.

[dragony]

I haven't been to the one of this world, personally, but I don't believe it'll be too much like the one you're from. Most things on this Earth are a little... off, from most people's experiences.

Maurtia Falls is the one most likely to have pubs and the like more similar to what you're used to, in that case. Also more likely to sell you scotch by the case, if you don't mind the... atmosphere.

[goodtobebad]

Oh, atmosphere is fine, I like atmosphere. As long as what they sell is good.

[dragony]

[ It is very, very slight, but one corner of her mouth ticks just slightly into her cheek. Not really a smile, but close. ]

In that case, you'll definitely like Maurtia Falls.

[ go have fun in CRIME TOWN, london guy. ]

[goodtobebad]

That does seem to be the place to be for the hard drinking crowd.

[ Crowley is rather fond of crime, especially the petty sort. ]

[dragony]

Mmhmm. I used to live up that way, a few years ago. I can't remember the names of all the ones I used to go, but I could probably get you a better list of places to get lost.

[ She looks a little young to be part of the hard drinking crowd, but... this is America. ]

Well. The ones that haven't gone under and reopened as vape shops, anyway.

[goodtobebad]

[ She’s talking to an ageless demon who has absolutely no means of guessing the ages of people he assumes to be mortal humans. They all look like children to him, really. ]

Ew, vaping.

[ One of his. ]

But sure, a list might be a good place to start.

[dragony]

Ugh, right? I mean, they're all fronts for money laundering, too, but at least a bar is useful.

Give me a day or two, I'll send you a proper list. Where'd they end up sticking you, residency-wise? I've had to live in all the Porter towns, at one time or another, so I can try getting you something local, too.

[goodtobebad]

Oh yeah, the worst.

[ Just keep generating that low-level evil, kids. ]

I'm in Nonah.

[dragony]

Mm. Not the worst. Pretty dull, most of the time, I'd say. Perfect if you like quiet.

[goodtobebad]

its not london

but i got a friend here so it doesnt matter

[dragony]

Arrived together? Or were they already waiting for you?

Either way, it's pretty lucky.

[goodtobebad]

think we arrived about the same time

guess being kidnapped together is a bit luckier than being kidnapped alone

[dragony]

Much, yes. Some people go years here, without ever encountering a face they recognize from home.

It's much luckier that the person you know is a friend.

[goodtobebad]

Oh yeah.

Definitely a few beings from my dimension I'd rather not see here or anywhere else.

[dragony]

Oh, no?

[ "Beings" is definitely an interesting choice. ]

Dangerous, annoying, or both?

[goodtobebad]

Annoying.

Also possibly wanting to end me permanently but mostly annoying.

[dragony]

Usually people count their prospective killers as dangerous, too.

You're not concerned, that they might succeed?

[goodtobebad]

"Dangerous" is relative.

And I said "possibly" because I'm not sure if they'd be interested in trying to end me again. After they failed the last time, they don't know how.

[dragony]

[ There's a pause before she answers. Her expression — mostly serious, a touch bored — doesn't change much, but there's a slight cant to the way she looks at the communicator feed and the camera.

Her tone doesn't change, either. Still level, and polite, and a little bit distant. ]

You're not human. [ It's not a question. ] Were you only made to look like one, when you arrived here, or is this your usual appearance?

[goodtobebad]

Oh, I usually look like this. When I’m human-shaped.

[ Shrug! ]

[dragony]

Take care, then. Sometimes those who aren't human are made different, when they arrive here. The way your body works, the strengths you may have possessed. They might be stronger. Might be weaker.

You might not be even half as difficult to destroy, as you were before. So, you may want to verify for yourself, that you're still the same as you remember.

[ She doesn't MEAN for it to sound like a threat. ]