VIDEO;

[salandidiot]

[The network is greeted with a new face today! Or part of a new face anyway since Tupp had a bandanna tied around his lower half of his face. The camera is held close to his face like a shitty sort of selfie. There's a couch pillow behind him and some occasional dark movement in the corners of the view, but it's impossible to make out what just yet.]

Yo! Ya boy Tupp just arrived and ladies...it's yer lucky day.

[The camera view pans out as Tupp holds the camera further out from him. He's reclined back on a couch, his free arm seductively posed so it's resting behind his head real casual like. The bit of movement that could be seen before? Well for some reason this young Romeo is just covered in small dog sized lizards. Covered meaning exactly 3 Salandits were draped over him. Two were happy to just add to this seductive visual their trainer was trying to convey as they looked to the camera. One up by the couch pillow near his head and the other draped across shoulder and chest. The last Salandit however is laying on Tupp's stomach going the extra mile with a classic 'draw me like one of your french girls' pose.]

This handsome hunk before ya just so happens to be single—I know, I know that's hard to believe, but maybe y'all can help me out. So ladies if yer single, hit me up.

[If you haven't managed to cringe yet, the attempt at a seductive wink he gives to the camera once he's done might do it. Proper use of the network, amirite?]

Comments

[hatestrashcans]

Oh wow.

You ever have that thing where somebody does something you might do and you realize how ridiculous it is?

I just had that.

So thanks for the unprompted self-awareness, I guess.

[salandidiot]

....What.

[A beat. He genuinely looks confused.]

What're you talkin' about.

Voice

[by_candlelight]

All these years I've questioned the existence of second-hand embarrassment. I was a fool to question it, because this is the realest emotion of them all.

[salandidiot]

[It's only because this voice sounds feminine that he's keeping the terribly cringe worth seductive voice.]

Ain't nothin' embarrassin' bout love. That's the realest shit, yo.

[VIDEO]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[There's literally nothing on the screen except the backdrop of what appears to be a forge or a workshop.]

[Why?]

[Because Darin has fallen out of his chair and off screen laughing hysterically.]

[salandidiot]

[The camera gets close, Tupp squinting in confusion wondering what he's even looking at. He doesn't miss the hysterical laughter on the other side though.]

You think this is funny, huh?!

video;

[golisolation]

[Well. This is unexpected, to say the least. Not unwelcome, though. Well, the video itself could have not been a thing, but Guzma's glad to see Tupp—any of his grunts, really. But it's fine, if he had a problem with his grunts being complete and utter fools, they wouldn't all be exactly that, now would they?

Instead, Guzma just ignores the body of the broadcast, besides, it's not like this is aimed at him, as it fucking shouldn't be. Instead, he's going to do the thing that's far more important:]

Yo.

[Yeah, announcing his presence is paramount. That, and keeping his eye on Tupp's interactions with the others... Darin's in particular.]

[salandidiot]

[Tupp's eyes widen the moment he sees Guzma, camera fumbling for a moment as he literally drops his communicator on his face in surprise.The video feed is a blurry mess and the sound of a hiss. It must have kept going and smacked the Salandit on his chest. He's quick to pick it back up though, eagerly looking back into the camera.]

Yo, Boss! [Nice recovery.] I didn't know you were here.

voice; un: Julian Delphiki | Bean

[justlittle]

[ Have the young voice of a surly ten year old... Not exactly your target audience. ]

I'd rather date the lizards.

[salandidiot]

Wha-

Yo why would you date a Pokemon? That's stupid.

[The Salandits seem happy though, the one on Tupp's stomach happily peeking into the screen with a 'Salan~' clearly taking it as a compliment.]

[moonlitpath]

Alola!

[Complete with Alolan wave in greeting.

The whole post really is sorta going over her head (thanks, canon) but she is going to ignore it.]

Those are cute salandits. They look strong, too. ... What was the last thing you remember?

[salandidiot]

Alola.

[Said literally without thought and no hand gestures. He's glad he's finally getting more 'ladies' to reply to his post, but he's was looking for more his age range than children. Ugh.]

Damn right they're strong and yo I dunno, that long borin' car ride to this house? [Clearly she was asking about today right? lmao]

—wait, you from Alola?!

permavid

[killtime]

You even finished puberty yet?

[salandidiot]

[Deeper voice than anywhere else on this post]

Yeah.

Video - filtered from Archie

[namesaquestion]

Hmph. You battle with those things or they just decoration or pets?

[At least Niko's straight to the point...?

Never mind he's grounded, nope. But hey what Archie can see Archie doesn't have to know about.]

[salandidiot]

Yeah. What you wanna go or somethin' ?

video;

[crassidy]

Alright there, handsome? Not even gonna show us yer whole face? I feel personally feckin' robbed.

[salandidiot]

Yo what's with everyone wantin' to see my face? Sides that, I'm talkin' to the ladies out there. I ain't gonna show you my face.

video

[continuousgroaning]

Are those Pokemon?

[salandidiot]

[Huh.]

Yeah, Salandit. I'm surprised you know what Pokemon are, I hear y'all don't have them here.

[He hasn't seen any that weren't his own at least.]

video

[innerdragon]

Handsome is a good word, for the Salandits at least.

[Lance appreciates fine dragon-like Pokemon!]

Don't tell me you're one of Guzma's groupies?

[He sure talks like him, and well, that looks like something he would wear too.]

[salandidiot]

No duh, why do you think I have 'em out.

[He didn't catch that sick burn, the next bit catching more of his attention.]

Huh? Yo, we're Team Skull and that's Mr. Guzma to you.

[...]

Just who the hell are you?

audio;

[dragony]

All that, and you don't even introduce your friends? How rude.

[ True and unfortunate facts: if she were single, this absolutely would have worked. ]

[salandidiot]

[She's blessed that she's not single, because Tupp is very dumb and not dating material. His tone is noticeably less harsh compared to others he's replied to.]

Huh? Whats to introduce, you can see 'em can't you? They're Salandit.

[Even if Tupp doesn't seem to care, the Salandit do look pleased at the acknowledgement.]

Video

[drivesadesk]

Well, that's awkward, having an embarrassing first intro like that. Nice pets, though!

[salandidiot]

I don't see what's awkward about it, yo. Gotta make sure the ladies know where it's at.

[The diva of the Salandits though peeks closer to the camera with a 'salan~'. He likes compliments.]

[consulinchief]

...It's.... good to have confidence...

[Desperation, however, never looked good on anyone.]

[salandidiot]

Thank you! Someone gets it.

[That someone ain't tupp lol]

private;

[krookedcop]

Oh, look, an original Team Skull grunt. You're quite the rarity these days, it seems.

[He doesn't bother introducing himself. In fact, it's sort of ideal to remain somewhat anonymous.]

So do you get seniority over the others, or what?

[salandidiot]

[Knowing that Guzma was here made those who knew of Team Skull already make more sense to Tupp, but being called one of the original? Hoo, makes him think they're someone from back home. Not that he recognizes the voice at all. He puffs up though, proud.]

Of course I'm rare, yo! Someone's gotta carry the team, I did it back in Alola so I'll be doin' it here too.

[A beat.]

You clearly familiar though, you from Alola or what?