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maskormenace2019-09-10 09:24 pm
maskormods) wrote in maskormenace2019-09-10 09:24 pm
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THE MAJORITY REPORT: SEPTEMBER 10TH, 2019
HITTING PAYDIRT
As seen in news outlets across the porter cities:
Following a period of extended negotiations, unions representing news reporters, photographers, administrative assistants, printers and janitors in De Chima, Maurtia Falls, Heropa and Nonah agreed to new contracts with their publishers. Representatives assure local newshounds that their daily papers will return to regular circulation.
When asked how it could be a coincidence that so many separate groups went on strike at the same time, a union representative just shrugged.
"No idea," he said. "Mercury was probably in retrograde or something."
(DON'T) BURN, BABY, BURN
As seen in coordinated social media and notices issued to the community by porter city police and fire departments:
Citizens are to be advised that unusually high levels of mayhem this summer makes it more important than ever that people look out for each other and be alert to any developing situations. If you see something, say something, to your local policeman or local registered hero. Families should also have crisis plans, and are urged to use the buddy system. Pamphlets on what to do in the event of a supernatural emergency are available at city firehouses.
On a related note, several city fire departments and paramedic services have begun holding new recruitment events and scheduling training classes due to increased need.
BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE
As seen on international news, emergency broadcast channels, posted online through official Aegis Force Bwitter:
PRESS RELEASE FROM AEGIS FORCE: The ImPort peacekeeping team Aegis Force announces another successful operation against the criminal Otherworld Technologies Organization (OTO). Working in conjunction with the government and other imPort heroes, Aegis agents raided an OTO base outside Nonah and confiscated numerous pieces of dangerous technology created by former imPort inventor Tony Stark, who now appears to have been collaborating with the OTO. This technology was being used to create a large-scale battle mech based on Cybertronian design, which was intended to attack diplomatic summits of world leaders. There were no imPort casualties and numerous OTO members captured.
Aegis Force is also opening membership in the Aegis Reserves. These five imPorts will be called upon to boost Aegis ranks during times of need, such as when regular agents have been Ported out. There are currently TWO slots available for qualified Registered Heroes to join. Anyone interested should contact Agent Darin Altway, who is in charge of Reserve recruitment and training.
Finally, Aegis stresses that its agents are held to the highest standard of integrity and responsibility as they use their powers to serve the public. Agent Archie is currently on administrative leave pending mandatory counseling and retraining after an incident involving the assault of a suspect. Aegis Force does not tolerate this misbehaviour, and expects all members to conduct themselves in a manner worthy of public trust.
Anyone with information or questions for Aegis Force is encouraged to contact the team's hotline.
3̷̶̡͢.̷̨͠1̵̨҉̷4̶1̵̸5̷̶̨͞9҉̸2̧͟͠6̢̛͟͢5̵̨̀̀͝3̨̧͢͝5́͡9̡͝
As heard on heard on pirate radio stations and old headsets that aren’t plugged into anything:
The loud long buzz, and an eight sliced pie. Tasty individually, sure. Very tasty. Pecan, or maybe… maybe pumpkin. But the pie isn’t really a pie when it’s in pieces, is it? Can’t really tell what it was ever meant to be. Tasty but nonsensical. Maybe get the whole pie together first, before you try to eat it? Sharing always makes it tastier, anyway. ... Or stealing.
Maybe all it takes is stealing the other seven pieces, before someone else does.
CODE SWITCH
The Homeland Security Advisory System has moved from THE HOLY GHOST to BASIC BLACK, because it goes with everything.
WANT TO SUBMIT TO THE MAJORITY REPORT?
The Majority Report comes out the 10th and 20th of every month. You may find details and submit here. The cut-off time is 12:01 AM PST on the 9th and the 19th for the corresponding dates.
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