ANONYMOUS TEXT

[irwins]

[Shaun is not usually one to post things anonymously. He's always been a blogger. He's used to life in the public eye back home. But this... Well. This discussion isn't one he's quite ready to have openly. Not with Georgia around. Not with Becks also here.]

So none of us asked to be dragged to this place, right? But now that we're here, I can't be the only person who doesn't want to leave.

I know that could change. It could change fast.

How do you handle it? Living a life that could get ripped away at any minute?

I know that's always true. I know it real fucking well. But it's even more true and immediate here somehow. So how do you deal with that besides super heavy denial?


[And denial only works so well when there's a quiet voice at the back of your mind, one that hasn't been given a chance to put down deep roots or find its volume, but one that is there and waiting to whisper the worst sort of warnings and worst case scenarios.]

Comments

[irwins]

It's worse when you've got people from your world here who are from different points in time. Then time just stops making any sense whatsoever.

Yeah, sure as hell is harder over time. So far anyway. Maybe it gets easier again. I don't know. I hope it does.

[justaddh2o]

I believe that. I can't even imagine.

Maybe... For your sake, I hope so.

[irwins]

Total mindfuck. I remember when time moved in one direction. The good old days.

Thanks. Me too.

[justaddh2o]

Ha, right I like your style. Making jokes in the midst of feeling upset. Bit like me. If you ever feel so inclined, give me a shout when you're not anon if you want to talk more. But yeah, I don't want to try to think of it.
I'll break my brain.

private - un-anon

[irwins]

It's a skill I've got some practice with. Like. Lots of practice. Basically pro level.

[And well. Why the heck not. The anonymous part is mostly so his sister and Becks and a few other folks didn't know it was him more than anyone else. He's got a carefree devil-may-care facade to keep up, after all.]

Name's Shaun. And I appreciate the talk.

private unless otherwise stated, moving forward

[justaddh2o]

I know the feeling. My sense of humor is a lot more dry and bleak, but I'm pretty well practiced at that, as well.

I'm Rikki. Nice to "meet" you. And of course, no problem. I hope you find what you're looking for in a conversation with someone who's been around longer or can relate more closely to what you're going through than I could.

[irwins]

Well from one professional morbid sense of humor to another, respect.

Likewise. And yeah I'm hearing some stuff that's got me thinking, which is probably dangerous. I dunno.

[justaddh2o]

Haha, yeah I like you all right, Shaun. Back at you.

Thinking what? Good things or bad things?

[irwins]

Mix of both.

Far as I can tell, no one's figured out coping here. Just getting by on whatever they can.

[justaddh2o]

That makes sense, I suppose.

I dunno, I'm sure someone has done. I know a woman who said she's been here for years. Surely, by then, there's more to coping than just getting by, yeah?

( God, she hopes so... )

[irwins]

Yeah one dude said he's been here for two years. Said it gets easier? So maybe there's hope yet. I could do with some hope. Might be a nice change of pace.   

[justaddh2o]

I'll take what I can get as far as hope that being here in general gets easier, in any case. The thing about hope is that you have to latch onto it and hold on for deal life, mate. So just do that. Take what he's said as fact and let yourself believe it. That's all.

[irwins]

I'll give it a shot. I really will.

[But he knows himself. And for all that he puts on an excellent show of being a carefree idiot, he's as much a cynic as his sister is, at heart, about some things.]