Video; merry musical event

[ralltiir]

[ The broadcast message is a live recording of an Aegis Force press conference, talking about their newest efforts to combat the OTO. Akobi's speech is professional, yet very boring. It is interrupted, however, by the beginning of some familiar (to some) music. Akobi looks up from his notes, exasperated. ]

Oh, what now? I didn't even say it this time!

[ One of the reporters from the crowd rushes the stage and grabs the microphone, making a booming announcement: ]

And now, the Crooked Commander of Battle Station DS-1, in his rendition of the medbay tango!

[ Akobi looks confused, but then something comes over him and he begins an elaborate dance number with the reporters acting as backup dancers. ]

Akobi:
I had it coming
I had it coming
I only had myself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I bet you you would have done the same

You know how people have these little habits that get you down?
Like the Rebels. The Rebels, they liked to interfere with my missions.
No, not interfere, ruin!
So I'm planning a bomb run on a Rebel ammo dump, trying to protect my home planet of Ralltiir,
And there's the Rebels, messing with my maps!
No, not messing with, sabotaging!
My team said they were ready to go ahead if I gave the order, so I did.
And then...I bombed a hospital.
I bombed a hospital ten times!

Chorus of reporters:
The dirty scum, scum, scum, scum, scum!
Oh what a bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!
They had it coming
They had it coming
They took a planet in it's prime
So he's Imperial? That's immaterial
It was a murder, but not a crime

Akobi:
I had it coming! (He had it coming)
I had it coming! (He had it coming)
I had it coming all along
An evil Empire? I'm not a new hire
How could you tell us that it was wrong
Could you tell us that it was wrong!

[ The musical number ends, and Akobi is left panting, alone on stage. His cheeks turn red and he makes one last grab for the microphone before running off stage. ]

This press conference is over!

Comments

permavideo!

[mortalweapon]

[ ...







Polite metallic clapping. ]

video;

[ralltiir]

[ Kriffing hell what did he do to deserve this? ]

Please... Don't.

[mortalweapon]

[ Blandly: ]

Is that not the appropriate reaction to a performance?

[ralltiir]

Not when the performance was ripped out of the performer, unbidden and unwanted.

[ He'd more appreciate some commiseration rather than applause. ]

[hatestrashcans]

Wait, so they changed it so you bombed a hospital instead of an ammo cache? And you didn't even check first? I mean, did you command a team of morons?

[Yes, Marco, that's what you should take away from this. ]

[ralltiir]

[ Great, this kid. He does not want to debate his failings with a teenager. ]

All of our intelligence said that the location was an ammo dump. If I had known, I wouldn't have given the go-ahead for the bombing run.

[hatestrashcans]

[ Look, Marco doesn't have many people to discuss this stuff with. Sorry Akobi. ]

Asshole move on their part. Great PR, though, making you bomb a hospital.

I seriously hope some intel people got fired for that fuck up.

text.

[flightforfreedom]

[ He probably shouldn't say anything. He probably really shouldn't say anything, but: ]






a hospital?

[ He doesn't send it. Instead: ]

you taking a change in career i didn't know about

[ralltiir]

Very funny.

I have no idea what came over me. My power has never acted this way before.

[flightforfreedom]

maybe you should avoid cameras for a while




how much of that was true

Audio | Private

[a_gaggle_of_ghosties]

Why ten times?

Did the first nine miss?

[Yes, this is exactly what he's taking away from this. Poorly trained bomber crews making things take longer than they need to]

permaprivate;

[ralltiir]

[ Great, now he has to discuss tactics with a Sith, too. ]

It's called being thorough.

[a_gaggle_of_ghosties]

It's called being wasteful.

Send a force large enough to get it done the first time or don't send one at all! Announcing your intentions with an understrength strike force only ensures you will be consuming vital resources with increasingly little to show for it!

[There was fuel and ordinance of course, but more importantly, time. And there was a non-zero chance Akobi would find a treatise on the subject outside his door in the coming days.]

Video |

[privatepurchases]

[Gabriel has seen this man in his house and-]

You-

[He's one to talk. Sodom. Gomorrah. Jerusalem. Frowning, the archangel shakes his head.]

...Why did you sing that? Or share it? Nobody should know about that kind of thing.

[ralltiir]

[ Why, why is it that Akobi is destined to make the worst first impressions with his housemates? First he blew up the top floor right as Carter was moving in. Now this. ]

I assure you, it was not my intention to tell anyone, let alone in such a spectacular manner.

[privatepurchases]

...Well. In my world, confession is good for the soul. That sense of emotion. Do you feel better having confessed despite this embarrassment?

[The slowest of pauses]

...Because while it was needed, you should still acknowledge the act.

[why does it bother him. He's blown up hospitals and churchs. Sodom and Gomorrah was decimated. Jerusalem as well. He rubs at his eye, lips pressed together.]

If you repent and are sorry you can be forgiven.

text

[merging]

when they told me my new job was reporting celebrity news i thought it was gonna be pretty boring
so thanks for this i guess

[ralltiir]

[ Oh great, Akobi remembers this kid. The one pretending to be the Emperor's nephew. ]

Please don't put this incident in print. The video broadcast was mortifying enough.

[merging]

hmmmmmm
i'll think about it

but what if it's good for imperial morale?

Text Message

[iminthebook]

Are you okay?

[ralltiir]

I've certainly had better days.

[iminthebook]

I can imagine.

I take it this was not intended at all?

video

[tricksterofasgard]

[ Loki simply holds up a piece of cardboard with a 7 written on it. Yes, you're getting seven points from the Asgardian. ]

Nice lyrics. But you interrupted my reading.

[ All of this is now totally your fault. ]

[ralltiir]

[ Akobi glares. ]

So sorry to have inconvenienced you.

[tricksterofasgard]

You are forgiven.

[ So generous. ]

So how much of that did actually happen?