maskormenace | [Video] An accidental, personal rant

[warning: threads could potentially contain manipulation, emotional abuse, violence]

[In complete rejection of the vulnerability within himself - the sadness and weakness that he felt his unwanted shadow version had projected - Beck has become more unstable, spurred on by the feeling of lacking control. He's been working with his tech and while frantically pushing buttons, he's accidentally switched on to broadcast.]

Okay, let's do this one more time...

[He's speaking to the side, at something not seen by the camera. His voice is tense.]

It isn't enough that you made me feel like I was this small.

[His fingers close down to nothingness.]

No, not even that small. That I didn't exist.

Or that it felt like I was dead and gone and still should only be spoken about as a waste of space.

No. No, no no...

[He shakes his head, grimacing and the tension is starting to boil up and over.]

No, now you have to bring that into it--

[He points at something again out of camera range.]

Something that really, really shouldn't exist. I'm past that. I'm better than that. Despite your best efforts to keep me invisible, I'm not. People see me. People know who I am, for better or... for worse.

[He clenches his jaw at those words, fists forming at his sides.]

I'm noticed. That's what's important here.

Right? Right?

[His voice is rising, passionately angry.]

I am a known entity. I am Mysterio!

[He makes a grand sweeping gesture and his formerly regular clothing instantly transforms and reveals he's actually wearing his flashy hero suit.]

This is who I am now. It's who I'm meant to be - and you are not going to stop me. Not by your words. Not by your memory. Nothing you can do can stop me.

[He's glaring angrily past the camera then he raises his hands, green energy forming around them. His voice is quieter but now deadly.]

I should have killed you in more than just a story.

[And he lets the energy flash across the room in a bright, destructive blast. The shock of it is enough to jar the device and cut off the feed.]

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[There's a twitch that might be a wince but Beck's emotions are all over the place in his current unhinged state and right now he's kind of gone numb and cold. He narrows his eyes.]

Nobody helps me. I have to help myself. I only have myself to rely on.

If it's prideful to only have faith in yourself because nobody else does, then that's the sin I will gladly bear.

Then that will be your undoing.

[Gabriel snorts and pulls back still looking tired.]

...And I...will not make the same mistake you do.

Well, I do have the excuse of being only human, right?

[Humanity.

It wears on you.

He was made to be better then them. So much better. The look he fixes Beck with is one of inhuman loathing.]

...Yes.

Only human. Blessed. Beloved.

[The last word is sneered.]

[There's a bitter look right back.]

I've never been blessed or beloved of anybody.

Save me your jealousy. You had all the advantages, right? Angel with power. And you're going to be jealous of the suffering humans endure?

It's not jealousy to want you to do better!

To be an example! It's frustrating to see you take things that she gave you and not trust and love her enough to use them.

[He winces, dragging a hand through his hair.]

And what exactly was I given?

Unrelenting unceasing love from her.

Look, I never got any of that.

I think you're imagining things that aren't actually happening.

Love from an almighty deity.

[His eyes narrow] but again. If you don't want to believe, I can't help you.

She believes in you. Most deities that make the world do besides the one here. But I can't convince you of that.

And I tell you I've never seen her or heard from her so how do I know she exists?

[He's not taking it on faith.]

People need to see to truly believe.

[That's what he was trying to accomplish, manipulate people into seeing things to believe in him...]

Love isn't tangible. It doesn't help me.

...When you've seen a grown man-shaped being with wings you're not willing to accept the idea of things existing outside of your reality?

[Pardon his genuine confusion.]

I've seen a lot of things. Maybe she exists in your world but not in mine.

You didn't have to deal with half the world turning to dust, did you?

[Half the world turned to what?]

No.

[But looking into the camera his eyes look ancient. Sometimes he can reach deep into his true form - the sort of thing that drives men mad and leaves human beings broken.

He offers a sliver of this now.]

But when called upon to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah my second in command in the battle turned people into salt.

No, look, I'm talking about recently. Just a few years ago. Some mad and powerful alien being caused half the life in the entire universe to just disappear... Poof! Just like that. Gone.

Then the Avengers brought them back to life. Belatedly.

If you don't know about it; a global catastrophe with galaxy wide implications - then we're from very different worlds and it's likely that your god? Doesn't exist in my world.

So anything you say about love from her isn't going to benefit me.

[He is unphased by the notion of half the universe disappearing. It's not that bad. He built it.]

He, She. If someone can do something that big there is something that made your universe.

It may not be the God I know, but. There is something.

They've still never done anything for me personally.

[Because that's the part that counts for him.]

[Why are humans like this???]

What strictly do you want? Indulge me. I'm curious.

[Especially Beck in particular.]

What about smiting? She could have done that for me. She could have smited... smote? ... Whatever it is... She could have destroyed my father. Right? Instead I was all suffer the little children...

[So much bitterness.]

That was in her plan.

You had work you had to do with those experiences. How you chose to do that work is your business.

The idea is to resist that which causes you to suffer. We can't control what you do with what happens to you. Some rise, some fall.

But nothing that lives is immune from suffering.

Wow. That is a convenient way to say you're on your own.

No god cares.

The last one I met broke down my door.

You work hard. You get rewarded.

...How did- Is this like that trickster creature?

Loki. Yes.

But I have worked very hard, all my life and I found my own rewards. I achieved through my own merits.

If Gods exist.

Any Gods, not just the one I serve.

...How sure are you that's the case.

After all. They have absolute power. Authority. Some may be able to-as you said whatever - dissolve everything around you. If they can do that how do you know you do not know your success is owed to them?

Seriously?

You are going to diminish my hard work by saying it came from some invisible, unknown god?

(no subject)

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