001 | voice

[measuringdicks]

Okay, quick question from the new guy to everybody else: what the fuck is going on? [Richie has been scrolling through the network for a bit, apparently. He's not too pleased about the apocalypse that's coming up in less than a week.] Why does everybody think the world's ending in a week? What's this shit about twins and spider's altars? What the dick is even happening?

[Oh, wow, this kid's voice is hitting some concerning levels of panic.]

I just got here! No one told me the world was going to end in less than a fucking week before I saw all this bullshit popping up, what the fuck, that's the kind of shit you should tell someone in the first ten minutes! What the fuck am I supposed to do, cram my bucket list into six days?

Comments

Private voice: un: Julian Delphiki | Bean

[justlittle]

[ Bean's going out on a limb here, but just because it's another kid doesn't mean he can trust him, so he's going to do it slowly. ]

The Porter gave you powers, right?

permaprivate and permavoice

[measuringdicks]

Of fucking course the Porter gave me powers! [Yeah, there's no real filter on the cuss words coming out of this kid.] But they're not gonna be helpful in stopping the literal fucking end of the world, unless you want me to turn into a goddamn dumpster raccoon or something.

[justlittle]

Shut the fuck up and listen to someone who's been here longer than you, who knows more than you do.

[ Are we listening? Good. ]

Using your powers-- whatever they are-- can actually help save the world, if you do it in the right place at the right time. So are you going to grow some kintamas and help or are you going to be a big pissbaby and cry yourself to sleep?

[measuringdicks]

Duh you know more than I do, I got here days ago, I only found out there was an apocalypse happening an hour ago. This is the kind of shit you're supposed to tell people!

[Yeah, and cause a panic like what's happening with you right now, Richie.]

What the fuck are kintamas, dipshit? You talk a big game for someone who doesn't know shit about what kind of powers I've actually got.

Voice

[by_candlelight]

[ Oh damn. This one sounds really young, and not at all capable of handling this world's current state, not like people like Bean. ]

Hey there, hold up a moment and I'll patch you in to a recording I made of the 'too long, didn't read' I told someone earlier.

[ There's the sounds of a few light taps, then a recording plays, crystal clear. ]

So, the basics are there's these people called OTO who want us dead, but also they want power, maybe even immortality! We're not 100% sure of everything they want, but they're willing to destroy the majority of this universe to get it. I wouldn't be surprised if that includes killing a bunch of other universes, either, just because these assholes seem to love collateral damage the way a fox loves riddles.

They've been making the fabric between worlds even more unstable lately, and that's a decent part of the current apocalypse. We have zombies running around here. Super-contagious zombies.

Anyway, OTO is trying to summon Atropos, the fate of death - basically - into this world. And apparently we need to summon her sisters or we're all dead. There's a prophesy and everything, so that's certainly something. Some people say we may need every imPort who can possibly use any sort of power, so if your powers are automatic or can be done on will, you may be more helpful than you think. Something in the prophecy.


I feel like I'm missing something important, but I'm not completely sure what it is. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.

[ There's another tap, and then she's back to talking personally. ]

The spiders and twins have to do with the prophecy, by the way.

1/2

[measuringdicks]

[...]

2/2

[measuringdicks]

I left Derry to almost get eaten by either fucking supervillains or fucking zombies?!

[by_candlelight]

That sounds about right.

We're not just sitting on our hands here though. We're working to fix this mess, or at least limit damage. Whatever is available to us. I'm not going to say 'relax', because you absolutely shouldn't do that just yet, but you should try and calm down a little so you can take in information.

Have you seen the 'what to do around a zombie' post another set of imPorts made? Because right now I'd say a zombie is probably your biggest individual threat, and assuming you're fast and don't get cornered you can totally run away.

[measuringdicks]

There's a—Jesus fuck, and I thought Derry was fucked up. [Like, it is, but at least it had the other Losers. This world does not even have the Losers.] How're you going to fix this mess in a week? Not just the actual apocalypse, but the fucking zombies too?

[atypically]

Fucking right?! I figured my biggest problem would be whether or not I got in trouble for skipping fucking school, they're talking about the end of the fucking world? What the fuck, man?

Sorry, he's learning to shitpost

[hatestrashcans]

lol no i love it

[atypically]

[measuringdicks]

What the fuck is right! They should've said something about it the second we arrived! "Hi, motherfucker, welcome to bizarro Earth, you're probably gonna die in some goddamn apocalypse in less than a week, hope you didn't have anything to do next week!" Jesus fucking Christ, and we're stuck here?!

[atypically]

Seriously, though, what the hell are we supposed to do? I'm not trying to die in some rando place with a bunch of people I don't know who are acting entirely too chill about the end of the world.

[hatestrashcans]

Only if it's a short bucket list.

[ Yeah, Marco's no help here. ]

[measuringdicks]

Not fucking helping, asshole. There's way too much shit on it to cram into six days!

Text

[privatepurchases]

[Why are all these kids swearing what is happening.]

What's a bucket list?

text

[measuringdicks]

list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket

mine is too long

I don't wanna fucking DIE

Re: text

[privatepurchases]

[Kick the bucket.]

I'm going to preface this with I'm not human but what does kick the bucket mean? Does that mean die?

...You are not going to kick any buckets or die. People here will solve this. Myself included.

Voice

[perfectlyhuman]

[ Oh. Well, he's loud. And that's not the kind of language he's used to. But he doesn't blame him.

Here's an incredibly English accent for you, Richie. ]

There's a lot of stuff going on in this place. And everyone's really bad at explaining it.

[ And this one sounds way too calm about it. ]

There's people working on it, looks like. Fixing this.

[measuringdicks]

[In a frankly shitty British accent, just to make himself feel better and less freaked out:] Bit of a bloody mess we've found ourselves in, eh, guv'nor? [And then it drops because Richie really isn't feeling it right now.]

How can you be so—so okay with this? How is anyone okay with this? I know I'm new and I don't know shit but how is everyone just so fucking calm about an apocalypse in a week?!

[perfectlyhuman]

[ Adam gives him the weirdest look over the impression. He knows he's in some version of America, but no one's actually...done...that.

2/10.

But, still, this guy's freaking out and, for as calm as he might be, Adam does get it. So he ignores the first part. And kind of just...shrugs awkwardly. ]

Lots of people aren't okay with it. [ There are reasons why he isn't losing his mind, but that's not first conversation material. ] But a lot of people are working on fixing it, I think.

I've heard it's happened before.

[kamala_khan]

Hi it's going to be alright. We'll save the world.

[measuringdicks]

Yeah? Okay. How the fuck are we doing that?

[kamala_khan]

We work together. If we do that we can accomplish just about anything.