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[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie paces as he talks. There's a cast on his arm with the word loser written in black, with a red V written over the s to spell lover.]

Hello? Can you hear me? We're all kidnapping victims here; you guys know that right?

This nanite stuff sucks. There are tiny germ sized robots crawling around inside us! Something's gotta be powering them. They could be hanging out in our stomachs eating our food. Or they could be eating us and making tiny little holes inside our bodies. They could all build up in one place and block off the blood flowing through our arteries and our veins. Or build up in our organs, our lungs and our brains! And, our bodies are mostly water. They could be rusting inside us.

[He stops pacing and starts scratching his face with his cast-free hand]

I think I'm allergic to them! Everything's itchy. I'm gonna break out into hives!

[He starts wheezing and rubs his chest.]

I could be allergic to the tattoo too. I'm just a kid. I shouldn't have one. I think it's starting to swell up. I could have an infection. Or a blood disease. I don't trust these government people to be clean.

[The wheezing continues and his voice becomes strained with each word. He takes his inhaler out of a fanny pack and uses it, only speaking again when he's breathing is back to normal.]

How are we supposed to deal with this shit?

Comments

[tricksterofasgard]

In that case I hope they adopt some of my ideas. Might make being stuck here much more amusing.

[ Spoiler: No one wants that sort of chaos. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[He reaches for his inhaler, then stops and takes a pill instead.]

No, dude, they'll save your ideas for writing scary stories.

[Bill's not here.  Someone has to do it.]

[tricksterofasgard]

[ He gets a short, nasty chuckle for that. ]

Oh no, I am already doing that myself. I might write one about you next.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Why don't you go do that, asshole?   Before the little robots plagiarize it.

[tricksterofasgard]

Would you like to read it when I'm done? And worry not, I will make sure to age you up a decade or two. Your partner as well.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Nope. You can go ahead and age me up to your age, in the story for all I care. That'd be 5 or 6 decades right, old man? And I only found out I had a job today. I don't have a partner.

[Because business partner is the first place his mind went.]

[tricksterofasgard]

I'm actually roughly a millennia older than that.

[ He's saying this quite matter-of-factly. ]

And I like my fanfiction to be realistic. Something tragically romantic seems fitting.

[ Careful, he's building a ship for you. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Is that why you're such a jerk?  You're so old, you're brain's all rotted out.

[He rolls his eyes.]

That was a quick shift from horror.  You must have old brain problems.

[tricksterofasgard]

Everyone can do horror. I prefer starting shipping wars.

[ It's better and messier than sowing actual wars. Loki truly enjoys the internet. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Whatever the fuck that means.  [Eddie hasn't experienced the internet yet.] You're so old you don't make sense.

[tricksterofasgard]

And you stopped your wheezing.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Yeah. It's just asthma.

[tricksterofasgard]

And it just occurs randomly? Leaving you gasping for air, like a fish out of water and seemingly dying a terrible death of suffocation?

[ Does this seem random? Maybe. And yet there is usually some sort of chaotic logic behind Loki's randomness. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[It's not random at all.  When he's nervous or scared, that' when he has 'asthma' attacks.  He's not gonna give the stranger more to use against him.  He shakes his head, trying to look calm.]

It's not like dying.  Stop saying shit like that.

[tricksterofasgard]

Well, it looked and sounded that way. You might think the porter is sadistic for bringing in beings in such a broken state without fixing them...

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[He looks sad for a moment, only because he does see himself as broken - weaker and more fragile than everyone else. The moment passes and he shakes his head.]

No. The porter knew I'd want to be here since Richie's here. That's not sadistic. The people working around the porters need to do a better job of explaining shit when we get here; that's all.

[tricksterofasgard]

You are fond of your friend?

[ Yes. Just deliberately ignoring the rest. ]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Of course.  Duh.  He's my friend. 

[He sits up straighter, trying to look bigger.]

Stay away from him.

[tricksterofasgard]

[ Huh. Curious. ]

I am terribly sorry, but I may not be able to follow that request.

Will you defend him?

[germhating_hypochondriac]

It wasn't a request, dickwad.

[His chest feels tight at the thought of Richie needing to be defended from this guy and he wheezes again, but doesn't reach for his inhaler.]

Yeah, like I said we're friends. Don't you know how friendships work?  Oh.  No one wants to be your friend, huh.

[tricksterofasgard]

[ He merely gives a short, but nonetheless nasty chuckle. ]

Please don't think that anything you say may keep me from doing whatever I decide to do.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie stares at him, biting his lip to hold back from calling this guy every name he can think of, until he gets his temper somewhat under control.]

So if you don't care what I say, do you just..

[A pause.  Do you just get off on scaring kids, does it make your tiny dick happy]

What do you want?  Why are you even talking to me, dude?

[tricksterofasgard]

Well, it's fun.

[ Yes, that's the only answer he will give. ]

Private

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[He takes a moment to figure out how to work the private mode.]

Okay, yeah, I get it now. You're a bully and it's fun 'cause I get scared.

[No better than Henry Bowers.]

No one else is gonna react the same way.  No one's fragile like me. Weak, delicate, whatever the fuck you want to call it.

[He hates admitting it out loud.  If it keeps a bully away from Richie, it's worth it.]

So I'm the only one it'll be fun to pick on.  Everyone else'll laugh it off.

[tricksterofasgard]

[ And Loki just looks at the screen for a few moments, not saying anything.

Then he grins. ]

Oh. Don't worry. I don't discriminate like you mortals do. There are a few adult men that might very well harm me that I also like to play my games with.

[ Because that doesn't sound dubious at all. ]