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[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie paces as he talks. There's a cast on his arm with the word loser written in black, with a red V written over the s to spell lover.]

Hello? Can you hear me? We're all kidnapping victims here; you guys know that right?

This nanite stuff sucks. There are tiny germ sized robots crawling around inside us! Something's gotta be powering them. They could be hanging out in our stomachs eating our food. Or they could be eating us and making tiny little holes inside our bodies. They could all build up in one place and block off the blood flowing through our arteries and our veins. Or build up in our organs, our lungs and our brains! And, our bodies are mostly water. They could be rusting inside us.

[He stops pacing and starts scratching his face with his cast-free hand]

I think I'm allergic to them! Everything's itchy. I'm gonna break out into hives!

[He starts wheezing and rubs his chest.]

I could be allergic to the tattoo too. I'm just a kid. I shouldn't have one. I think it's starting to swell up. I could have an infection. Or a blood disease. I don't trust these government people to be clean.

[The wheezing continues and his voice becomes strained with each word. He takes his inhaler out of a fanny pack and uses it, only speaking again when he's breathing is back to normal.]

How are we supposed to deal with this shit?

Comments

[slapfight]

I already had metal powers. Controlling metal is very useful.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Holy shit.  Can you control steel weapons?   Could you make a metal shelter if there was a storm?  What happens if you're around someone with a metal pin for a broken bone?  Are magnets your enemy?

[slapfight]

Yes. Probably. I've never met a human with metal inside them. Ugh.[That sounds horrible.] I generate my own magnetic field, so it would probably just repel them. I've never really experimented with them.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Cool. Probably cool...Wait, what about iron in the blood?  Does that count?   And when people wear jewelry and stuff?  I have to wear a watch, would that mess you up? Or get messed up by your field? 

[slapfight]

[this is a lot of questions she has never thought about.]

I could levitate the watch. Or use it as a projectile weapon! But other than that....

[Wow Eddie, don't make her think about her limitations.]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[Eddie thinks too much, always finding new worries.]

Don't.  I need my watch.  It beeps when I have to take a pill.  Plus, there's gotta be better weapons.

[slapfight]

Oh there are. I can throw vehicles at my enemies. Much more effective.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

What the fuck? Like motorcycles or cars or big-ass trucks?

[slapfight]

Yes.

[What? Like it's hard?] I'm very strong.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[This makes no sense. He's always associated weakness with being small and she doesn't look big.]

Are you like a hulk? She-hulk? Mutant turtle? Swamp thing?

[slapfight]

I'm a Peridot.

[In the tone of "No, this is Patrick."]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

That's what my mom calls some of her jewelry, I think.   It's pretty jewelry.

[Boys aren't supposed to like jewelry though, according to the bullies back home.  Plus, he's still thinking she's part hulk]

Does peridot also mean light creature?  How are you so strong?

[slapfight]

Thank you. The peridots you put in jewelry are of an inferior quality, however. I'm a Peridot made from Gem technology. I'm strong because the peridotite that went into making me had trace elements of ferromagnetic materials... At least that's the theory.

[Maybe that's too technical.] In Earth terms, I'm an alien from another planet where things are done differently.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[He bites his lip for a moment, thinking

How much differently?  Are there clown monsters on your planet?  Anything that likes to scare people and eat'em?

[slapfight]

What's a clown?

[That's a no.]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

Clowns are guys who dress weird, wear red noses or paint their noses red, wear all kinds of fucked up makeup. They're supposed to be funny but they're not.

Stay away from clowns.

Especially if they're named Pennywise.

There's really no clowns on your world?

[slapfight]

Not on Homeworld, there aren't. The only gems we have specifically meant to make people laugh are Spinels, but that doesn't sound like them at all.

[Laughtrack. She hasn't been through the movie yet. She'll eat these words.] But I'll... Keep that in mind. If I see any.

[And thus Eddie started Peridot's vendetta and distrust of clowns.]

[germhating_hypochondriac]

[He's only going to make it worse.]

Spinels?  Do they eat spines?  Pennywise eat kids. And adults. But mostly kids. 

[He nods.  Clowns have to be taken seriously.]  Good.

[slapfight]

No. [THAT IS THE WEIRDEST THING.] They just make people laugh. They don't eat anything.

[She blinks.] Your version of Earth is confusing. And I thought my earth was bad.

[germhating_hypochondriac]

I think it was just my town, Derry.   The clown was an alien and he messed with people's head so they wouldn't care when kids went missing.  But my friends figured out on a map that all the bad stuff he did only happened in Derry.  The rest of the world was normal.