maskormenace

[Eddie paces as he talks. There's a cast on his arm with the word loser written in black, with a red V written over the s to spell lover.]

Hello? Can you hear me? We're all kidnapping victims here; you guys know that right?

This nanite stuff sucks. There are tiny germ sized robots crawling around inside us! Something's gotta be powering them. They could be hanging out in our stomachs eating our food. Or they could be eating us and making tiny little holes inside our bodies. They could all build up in one place and block off the blood flowing through our arteries and our veins. Or build up in our organs, our lungs and our brains! And, our bodies are mostly water. They could be rusting inside us.

[He stops pacing and starts scratching his face with his cast-free hand]

I think I'm allergic to them! Everything's itchy. I'm gonna break out into hives!

[He starts wheezing and rubs his chest.]

I could be allergic to the tattoo too. I'm just a kid. I shouldn't have one. I think it's starting to swell up. I could have an infection. Or a blood disease. I don't trust these government people to be clean.

[The wheezing continues and his voice becomes strained with each word. He takes his inhaler out of a fanny pack and uses it, only speaking again when he's breathing is back to normal.]

How are we supposed to deal with this shit?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't think so... I've only seen him narrating nature documentaries.

[She has the distinct feeling that this young man could do with seeing less documentaries about diseases, already. These aren't the kinds of questions a normal child asks... are they?]

I... suppose I hadn't thought too much about it. The tap water is far safer here than it was at home.

Oh. That's cool too. Especially if they have cute animals. My mom didn't let me spend time around animals 'cause she said I was allergic. But sometimes I'd pet a dog when she wasn't around and I never got sick.

You gotta think about it. You can drinking water annual inspection reports. You should go back a few years 'cause germs can stay in water a long time. [Or that's what his mother told him.]

Maybe your mother was just a bit too protective of you. Parents can be that way. [Said quite gently, because... mothers...]

Have you ever seen a jackalope? I have one, if you'd like me to fetch her.

Yeah, she had a hard time after my dad died, especially cause I get sick a lot. [His mother made him think he was sick.] She doesn't want to lose me too.

Wait, what? Like a rabbit with horns? Those are real?

Ooh, stay right there.

[As if he's going anywhere.

He gets a good view of her ceiling for a few minutes, and the sound of her chattering to someone or something in the background, then she leans the phone against a glass so she can hold a wiggling jackalope with stunted horns in her lap.]

Here we are. This is Sylvi.

[Eddie grins. His mom tried to make him fear animals for their potential to carry disease and she'd probably warn him about the horns too, even over the phone. But he has a fondness for cute.]

Cool! Hi Sylvi! I bet you're a good girl. A really good girl.

She's the best girl. [Jane replies with a chuckle. The smile stays as the soft laughter trails off.]

Even if she does keep chewing the skirting boards.

Oh, that can't be good for her.

He's always worrying.]

Can you spray the board with something that tastes bad? Or give her a chew toy? Or put something in front of them, like a big couch or one of those baby safety gates.

It doesn't seem to do her any harm. I don't think she eats it.

[Just chews it, and leaves disgusting little wet wood chip piles in corners. Jane shakes her head.]

The only way to stop her would be to put her in a cage, and I'd hate to do that.

She is way too cute for a cage.

[He watches Sylvi for a moment]

Maybe she does it to be nice. Like she needs to chew on something and the wood's better than your fingers.

[She chuckles.]

Maybe that's it. She's never bitten me. [Jane pets the animal's soft ears and rubs the base of her stubby horns.]

Though she does kick me sometimes.

[He smiles.]

Never Ever? She's a really good girl!

Aww. Maybe she's kicking by accident.

I think she's kicking to show she's not pleased that I won't let her chew the skirting boards.

[Such a naughty creature.]

If you'd like to meet her some time, I'm sure she'd appreciate getting some time outside.

[He nods enthusiastically.]

Yeah, I'd like to meet her! Can I bring my friend Richie?

[Jane laughs, and finally puts the jackalope - who is starting to wriggle - down on the floor.]

Of course you can. Sylvi would be delighted.

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