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[hellufacade]

[His voice is lively and cheerful. He wears a grin as he gestures towards the screen. He's clearly holding it at selfie distance.]

Hello, fellow Heroes of this star! My name is Solus zos Galvus. It is plain to understand why they would employ my assistance in their time of crisis. Terribly inconvenient and inconsiderate of them to borrow me without asking...

[He catches a glimpse of something off screen, and sets the communicator down in a way that he can use it hands free. He spreads his hands out wide and shrugs his shoulders.]

But I can hardly blame them. I am a brilliant engineer, after all! Surely there must be other very talented individuals about.

I had just a short jaunt around town, and I must say that the technology is decent enough here, but I could not help but notice that it is not fully accessible to the common folk. Or should I say... The unpowered masses!

The government must not trust them very much to bar them from using the teleporters... Or, perhaps they simply don't have the capacity. Would it really be so difficult to build or distribute those lovely little nanites they were so keen on giving us?

Comments

[softheartedshizun]

Well... I have a cute disciple, that's good enough.

[Don't call him out! So what if he didn't have a cute girl to dote on him, that's fine! He didn't need it.]

I suppose if I were to say it plainly... my origins are that of a transmigrator into a Stallion Cultivation novel....

[hellufacade]

[He laughs, because it is absurd, and he doesn't believe him, but it's a lot more fun if he at least pretends to halfway.]

Ooohhh? Tell me about your "cute disciple". [He shifts to get more comfortable. He is just totally stretched out over his loveseat now. He rearranges his pillow.]

So you died, in some manner, and became this... This story book character. Sorry, this "Stallion Cultivator". Well, you aren't in a novel anymore... Are you adjusting well to a life without narration and rising or falling action? [He laughs at his own joke.]

So how did you die?

[softheartedshizun]

I am not a stallion cultivator, I'm the scum villain.

[This was... so annoying. All of his pretense was shattered at his feet.]

My disciple is the protagonist... but, some things may have changed. Once upon a time, they were very pure and adorable.

[Like accidentally turning the Stallion Novel into a BL novel and the harem protagonist into a male lead....]

I...

...

I died of food poisoning....

[He would not share that he had died from expired instant noodles, because he had been so mad about the ending of Proud Immortal Demon Way that he hadn't noticed the date!]

[hellufacade]

[Emet-Selch throws his head back and laughs.]

Food poisoning! Oh how cruel life can be... And crueler still, it seems. "Once upon a time"?

[He wipes away a tear with his gloved hand as he quiets his chuckling.]

You're familiar, then, with your own life's novel? I suppose the drama would be entirely missing were it a book you hadn't read... You wouldn't even know it was a book at all!

[softheartedshizun]

Of course, I am familiar, I have read all of its hundreds and hundreds of chapters.

[He did not like being laughed at, especially when he had been backed into a corner like this.]

If I am sharing so much, why not share a little of your life story as well?

[hellufacade]

Hmm, I think not! 'Tis but a dreary little story. Maybe one day.

[He doesn't feel bad at all for denying him.]

You have my name already... [lol] So why not tell me yours?

[softheartedshizun]

Shen Qingqiu.

[Of course he was denied.]

And I find that doubtful, no doubt a man such as yourself as nothing but interesting stories to share.

[hellufacade]

Ah, ah, ah! [He wags his finger at him.] Flattery will not loosen my lips, Shen.

[A beat]

Is that your name, or your villain's name?

[softheartedshizun]

That is my name, you need not worry about that.

[There was no escape, but, at least Shen truly was his family name, just, his personal name was Yuan, but that was fine, Qingqiu was a name of stature anyway, so it didn't matter.]

Can you not at least share things of your world? We all come from different places here.

[hellufacade]

Weeeell.... [ His voice draws out, the high-pitch part of it raising.] Alright. Who am I to deny such an avid lover of stories?

I’m from Garlemald, a fairly successful northern nation of a continent called Eorzea. It is populated with all manner of people and beasts. You really only see one sort of person here, wherever here is, exactly. I really haven’t seen any tails or pointed ears yet. I don’t know if they all just live someplace else...

[softheartedshizun]

I'm not too familiar, most people I have run across are rather normal I suppose.

There is some sort of AI robot and some aliens however.

[Now he actually was suprised that the ratio of traits represented were so similar.]

Perhaps those traits are more unique than not?

[hellufacade]

Oh, we have those, too. Most people don't know that dragons are aliens.

[Normal. Normal was relative. And he didn't know enough about this planet to make any judgement calls about the society. That would come soon enough.]

Is that so? [Of course that would be some bullshit he had to deal with because of the Sundering.] Well, surely you must come from a peaceful place, then!

[softheartedshizun]

[The idea that dragons were aliens was a rather unique twist.]

I don't know if I would call it peaceful, but it isn't exactly war-torn either. There are demons with unique traits in the demon realm, however.

[hellufacade]

[He raises his brows. ] Demons! [ Now that was something he was familiar with.]

Plagued by the hellsent. A difficult foe to be certain.

[ He sizes him up. By his looks and mannerisms... ]

Do you have servants?

[softheartedshizun]

Difficult yes, though, I feel most of our issues are in misunderstandings and cultural divides more than anything.

[Though, they were definitely very difficult to deal with.]

I have disciples.

[Which did all of his chores, ran his bath, cooked his food, and took care of everything important, so basically servants, but also not. However, if he did think about it, the logistics division was a bit like indentured help. But servants didn't feel quite right, it was more like... the service industry of a small city.

While he thought of this he spaced out a little bit.]

[hellufacade]

[Solus makes the mistake of waiting patiently for him to come back to them conversation. He snaps his fingers at him in irritation.]

Yes, well, do you still have them?

[softheartedshizun]

[He blinked a little. Had he been expected to say more? Maybe he had. But what was there to say? And clearly he did not have them here!

Of course, those other cultivators got to have their disciples and family and known people. No he wasn't jealous of it!]

Here? No. I am the only one here from my world.

I have... roommates?

[hellufacade]

[He immediately looks disappointed.]

No...? [He sighs, lolling his head back.] Do your "roommates" provide any services for you? How's a man supposed to... live. [He sighs.]

[softheartedshizun]

They clean up the house if I simply ignore it.

[Because his solution to things was simply to not deal with what he didn't want to deal with.]

But, modern conveniences make needing people to do them less required. You don't have to cook with instant and take out food, and any items can be easily obtained and delivered through the internet. Services can be bought when needed, so, there really isn't a worry to comfort. You could live entirely without ever leaving the house.

[hellufacade]

[Solis laughs raucously. ] That’s the spirit! [ Uh-Oh. He has roommates you know, don’t give him any ideas.]

I’m not such a shut in, my dear boy, buuuut... I like the sound of those other things.

[In fact. ]

I’ve just arrived here so so don’t know where all the good food is. It wouldn’t do me any good to die of food poisoning, hmmm?

[softheartedshizun]

[Was that a dig? Don't judge him! He was really mad, alright? It was late! He should have checked for better food in the fridge!]

If you do a search there should be reviews for places in your area and user comments.

[hellufacade]

So inhospitable! [ Are you really going to be able to say no to someone who has declared himself an emperor at least once? In spite of his protests he’s already sort of figured out a nearby computer. Blessed search function. ]

You’ve been here longer, so you should show me somewhere. I’m already famished, after all.

Besides... [ He seems to have found a laptop. ] What does “Mexican Fusion” mean? And organic food implies the existence of something I daren’t consider.

[softheartedshizun]

[Oh, that was asking him to recommend? Be more clear, how is he suppose to know that! Not to mention, he had not even really considered what was good or not. He had not had an appetite in weeks and when he felt a need to eat it was instant or microwave. Sure he had gotten some pasties once and maybe milk tea....]

I'm not really sure. Organic, however, is a method of farming using more natural methods. I don't really know enough about commercial farming to explain it in any detail though.

[Google it! You can google it!]

[hellufacade]

[Googling on an empty stomach??? Out of the question. Except he was still looking at reviews. ]

Ah, useless information. [ he flaps his hand dismissively. ] Nevermind. [ scroll, scroll, scroll.]

There are several “Chinese” restaurants. Either that or Mexican, and I have no idea what that all is supposed to be. Do these words make sense to you? Burrito, lo mein, quesadilla... you’ve sent me on a wild goose chase.

[softheartedshizun]

They're all American.

[A lot of the specific things he had wanted were hard to find.]

It's describing the ethnicities of where the food originated since this country is a melting pot of cultures. "Chinese" is food from China, "Mexican" is food from Mexico. Lo mein is a noodle dish.

[Sorry, he doesn't actually know that much about Mexican food.]