maskormenace | [Video] Attempted Private to Castmates (Settings error: user must fix)

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[Video] Attempted Private to Castmates (Settings error: user must fix)

[ By all appearances, Wuxian looks as perky and cheerful as always. Maybe those who know him best would see past the smile to the sorrow and depression that's a constant companion. ]

So! Shijie, Jiang Cheng, and I are going to be shopping for our first dinner in the new house. It's coming up quick and she thought a nice dinner for everyone would be nice.

[ Yep, little brother, you have been voluntold to help get groceries. ]

If anyone has a special dish they want made, let one of us know.

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[next time can we keep the drama to TV shows??]

It’s okay. Well, it’s not okay. I figured whatever you did had to have been pretty bad. I still don’t know the whole story. I figure someone will tell me eventually.

[She doesn’t quite know what to think, feeling torn. On one hand, she still feels an affinity for him, an understanding. On the other hand, she doesn’t want to risk her new family’s ire.

’I do whatever they say. I’m nothing. I’m empty.’]

I’ll make sure everyone’s okay. Are you okay?

I can tell you. [In person would be an issue. Someone would be worried for her safety and, as it is, he is locking his doors and windows.]

It doesn't matter how I am. Others require your comfort more, but I am grateful for your kindness.

I’d rather we could talk in person. [If she touches him, she can tell what parts might be lies.]

It still matters. People are most dangerous when they’ve got absolutely nothing to lose, after all. As long as you’ve got something you want to preserve, as long as you’ve still got people that care, it can make a difference. Maybe. I guess that one depends on you though.

I trust you will tell others of your plan? [So he doesn't have a mob breaking down his door.]

I'm not sure anything good can be preserved after what I did.

But if there is some good to be found now or in the future, that is a reason to carry on.

Of course. Besides, anyone reading this will know anyhow. But I’m not worried anyhow. You wouldn’t do anything to me. It doesn’t have to be something old. You can find something new to want to preserve and take care of. But it’s hard, letting go of those things in the past that shaped us. When old wounds keep getting picked at more and more, they fester. And no matter how many bandages you put on it, it’s not going to get better if all you’re doing is covering it up. At least, that’s a little of what I’m starting to figure out myself. It’s hard. And really annoying. So I get it on some level. I just have the luxury of not having anyone else from my world to rub it all in my face all the time.

You do understand better than anyone I have encountered thus far. I will never outrun what I did - and I shouldn't. But I admit I do get tired of constant accusation. I suppose that too is fair considering the pain and accusation I caused one man in particular to endure. He was my...stand-in...you could say.

While I reaped the benefits.

I was that sort of person, Miu, and nothing can ease or erase my deeds.

It's funny, the image I painted for myself was...much better. But the way I achieved it was as wicked as possible.

Edited 2020-03-30 17:52 (UTC)

I don’t know if they have this where you’re from, but there’s a saying here that’s “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” But yeah, I get it. Maybe it’s because I’m an outsider t this, or maybe it’s because I get living behind a mask. Back home if I don’t do whatever it is they want from me, I lose everything I built up and starting over again would be too much of a hassle, if I didn’t get blacklisted from even trying again. The right people saying the wrong things can have a lot of sway over one person’s life. People who don’t get how scary that is have never been in a position like that and it can show. I don’t know. From what little I’ve seen they’re not wrong for being wary of you or not trusting you. But why are you trying so hard to gain it back from them to begin with? Why not just let it go?

I am destined for hell. Nothing I do here will change that.

Why do you seek their attention? To put it bluntly, I have no one else. And the damage I have wrought on their lives deserves some sort of...if not understanding...then conclusion. The scariest thing about monsters is many of them were once human.

They are good people. I am a moth and they are my flame.

So dramatic. If you’re not careful though, you’re going to get burned.

Is it?

I have lost an arm, been stabbed and killed by a ghost. Being burned would be much nicer.

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[Video] Attempted Private to Castmates (Settings error: user must fix)

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