maskormenace

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[Shen Qingqiu, or more aptly at the moment Shen Yuan was sitting in front of the camera looking a bit confused. He looked nothing like he normally did, his hair was short, he wore glasses, his face thought still rather pretty was more sickly in complexion, like someone who needed to go outside more. His clothes were completely modern and would fit right in with contemporary fashion. Though his style screamed of someone who chose what was 'appropriate' rather than what was trendsetting.]

Even though rule number one of internet posting is don't share your likeness, it seems to be the preferred method of this network most the time.

[He couldn't help but sigh. He wasn't one to talk to people very much and preferred typing his interactions.]

But, anyway, I seek advice. Or help. I'm... not quite sure what is going on. I remember being here, I definitely woke up here a while ago, but... it feels a bit... hazy.

There is a huge gap! A huge gap between that, and before! I feel like I was at some sort of convention. Was I cosplaying? Does anyone else have that problem? Sort of remembering before but having trouble with it?

I don't really LARP, so, maybe it was a dream? Still, that's a bit morbid. I knew that shitty novel would be the end of me. Not only did it take my money without even trying to tell a good story! it gives me nightmares about living in its shitty low fantasy cultivation world. I thought I died, I thought I was going to die again too.

[He pauses a moment, he was rambling, this was why he preferred writing.]

Anyway... I know I've been here a little while but, it really does feel all fuzzy, is that normal?

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A bad novel can really fuck up your whole week, right? Can't say suffering over art is the cause of your other issues, but you know how this place is.

[There's a hint of long-suffering in her voice, meaning she's...kind of accustomed to this by now. At least the world isn't almost-ending.]

Wait a while, I'm sure whatever the fuck it is will blow over eventually. Always does.

It really can! And it kept promising to get better, it kept having interesting hooks in the background and questions left unanswered. But in the end it was all for naught! It ended with a million plot holes, the protagonist didn't even get a good ending! It was suffering for sufferings sake! It was the sort of experience that after hundreds and hundreds of chapters you can only scream "give me back my money you cheat!"

[He noted slowly, that did seem to be the way of this world.]

Makes sense, all a regular person can do is sit and wait for things to pass.

Sounds like some hack who doesn't know how to plan a story. Or worse yet, subverting expectations for shock value and sacrificing damn good characterizations for it. Nothing is more birdshit in this world than a story with failed potential.

Eh, well, regular seems relative here. You only had your memory tampered with, right? No turning into animals or anything else?

[She can only guess as to what kind of affliction LARPing is...]

They are a complete hack! They don't even build the world properly for the genre they're writing! They cause so much inconsistencies that I wonder if they've ever even read a cultivation novel! They focus way too much on collecting and conquering girls too, I understand there's an audience for that, but it takes away from the action and suspense. It's infuriating to have something dire happen, but the protag still has time to papapa all over the place!

[He could rant all day if given the chance.]

No animal parts, nothing like that. Just a strange dream between when I was home and ending up here. Also a vague feeling like I was doing more than just, working.

[Now that he thought about it.]

I'm an import, so I should have cool powers, right? I can't really remember what they're suppose to be.

Well that's the fucking issue, isn't it? Nobody sees the value in having a dedicated love interest these days, a relationship the readers can see grow and change through the story. Even when times are shitty and it looks like they're not going to last, you've got emotional investment in both heroes to see the story through to the end.

Sometimes there's just no fucking appreciation for a nice romance.

[She's going to write all of this down for her work later on, and who knows? Could be useful for something. Being a book critic hasn't really tempered her strong opinions on art, that's for sure.]

Powers seem like the one commonality between all the bastards that get sent here, yeah. Don't you have anything laying around, like a folder from the government? Usually they hand out some kind of information before you're let out into the open.

Or, realize that there is an appeal without a love interest at all. Maybe they can just be friends? Maybe they don't have to have a romance? Why does everyone have to have one? It's OK to not have it!

[One should always have strong opinions, it meant they had passion and care.]

Oh yeah, I do have a folder I can check it hold on.

...

.............

It says I'm a fictional character with the power of "cultivator".

Edited 2020-05-09 04:39 (UTC)

[Fictional?]

Cultivator? Ah, those magicians around here who play with spirits, right? Mediums, or something?

[This isn't adding up somehow...]

Cultivators are immortal heroes that use Taoist magic and other spiritual techniques to do super human feats. They are a staple of Xianxia. But, yeah, there are some cumtivators here. They seem a bit low fantasy in their origins though, good cultivation stories have a lot more epic abilities and the chance to become a god!

I've thought it would be fun to be a cultuvator, but you can't do that in real life.

Can't you? Have you tried to do any of this, uh, fictional cultivator magic?

Maybe it's a little fucking optimistic to believe whatever the government sent you, but weirder shit has happened around here.

Of course not.

I don't even know where to start. In stories they just, do it. In a video game you push a button. What would you do in real life? I know people train for qigong and stuff but I never have.

Magic seems to work different for everyone I've met. Shit, in my world you pulled favors from the Lady Merchant, calling out to her and offering up a barter for every spell.

[Unless you're a prodigy, but that's inconsequential here.]

You seem to be well-read about cultivators already. There wasn't any hint in the books? Some incantation, enchantment, any kind of birdshit variation like that?

Of course not. Cultivators just use their inner qi and their spiritual swords. I'm not even a martial artist, so I wouldn't know where to start.

I guess I could try meditating, maybe something will awaken.

I suppose that's a sensible course of action. [Boring, she means boring. Who wants to sit around and find their inner calm anyway?] Unless you wanted to try and spar with someone, shake the magic out in a more hands-on kind of way.

[Sure, fighting isn't the solution to every life problem, but it sure as fuck feels better than staring into space for a few hours.]

[That sounded like the last thing he wanted to do. He wasn't strong, he didn't even know how to throw a punch. He could imagine fighting all he wanted, that didn't mean his limbs could do it.]

I'm a bit afraid I'm just going to get hurt.

Saw your video! I am coming over.

Now? Alright.

[Better clean!]

Yes now!

Text me if you change back!

[OOC: Thread jump to log okay? Over here?]

Boy, that rule of the internet died a long time ago here. People make entire businesses built on showing their faces on the internet.

Anyway, let's narrow things down a little. Did you just wake up here, or did you come through the Porter?

An influencer is a completely different thing. Your average person still doesn't want to else they'll get flamed all the way to hell!

I came through the Porter a few months ago. But... it doesn't really make that much sense. I don't have any special powers or anything.

Welcome to being an imPort. We're all influencers, whether we like it or not.

And sometimes people without any powers wind up here, especially if they happen to know a lot of people who do have powers. Heck, even my mom showed up here for a little while. It happens. But the more pressing thing is why things are fuzzy for you, right? Because a lot of janky stuff has been going on vis a vis people changing from how they usually are, which means that maybe that happened to you too. Has anything specific changed lately?

Some shitty influencer life this is.

Nothing I can think of. I still have the same job, I still eat from the same places.

I do have a bunch of cosplay I don't quite remember buying. But, that doesn't seem that unreasonable.

Hmmm... maybe you have a secret identity you forgot about! I've heard of that happening back home. It was, like, this whole thing. Magic's weird.

[He can't help but sigh, magic was weird indeed.]

I guess all I can do is just go with the flow of things then.

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