video.

[hot_handed]

HEY, BASTARDS!!!

[The video shows Katsuki standing somewhere in Maurtia Falls with his free hand splayed out and twitching an infuriated scowl on his face as a vein throbs against his forehead. The first thing he did as soon as he got back was start to head home, but he has a question.]

The psychos in the lab coats and Porter thought it would be a good idea to give me some kinda new shitty healing quir-power, and it's bullshit! The fuck is wrong with 'em?! What if I blow someone up on accident instead of on purpose?! So I was wondering-

WHICH OF YA LOSERS ARE GOOD AT HEALING OR WHATEVER!!!

Comments

video.

[goldtoxicity]

Cool. Sooooooooo...

[ hold on, let him check the maps around town. he shoots a map location over. ]

This looks kinda remote? Probably nothing to get upset around here.

Re: video.

[hot_handed]

That's fine, I'll kill you with my healing over there!

video.

[goldtoxicity]

You joke - well, like, I hope that's a joke? But that's totally a thing, dude!

video.

[hot_handed]

Hah?! Since when?!

video.

[goldtoxicity]

The body is a delicate instrument. You gotta put things back right or it could cause major problems.

video.

[hot_handed]

...

YOU MEAN IF I AIN'T CAREFUL I COULD GIVE SOMEONE AN EXTRA ORGAN OR SOMETHING?!

video.

[goldtoxicity]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeell....

[ okay no let's not break the healing baby. ]

More like, if somebody's got a broken leg you gotta make sure you set it before you heal it. Otherwise the bone might heal wrong and could cause some serious pain.

video.

[hot_handed]

[....

Just. This face.]

Oh I know first ai- WHAT?! I STILL GOTTA SET IT?!

This power sucks.

Re: video.

[goldtoxicity]

Maybe you got lucky and it's all just totally intuitive?

video.

[hot_handed]

Dunno. It's hard to find someone to let me break their bones.

Re: video.

[goldtoxicity]

... weeeeell, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

video.

[hot_handed]

Oh yeah? What's the lesson plan, Glitter-sensei?

video.

[goldtoxicity]

Well, first, we're gotta see how your power works. Duh!

So I guess you gotta explode me and put me back together.

video.

[hot_handed]

Whatev-

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

video.

[goldtoxicity]

[ he cracks up immediately. ]

Well you kept saying you were gonna.

video.

[hot_handed]

IT'S-

[He scowls and grumbles.]

It's a catchphrase.

A MILLION YEARS LATER

[goldtoxicity]

Dude, that's not the most comforting catch phrase ever.

But, you're in luck - I'm kind of immortal? So I'm like, totally good to be exploded with heals.

LOL <3 i'm forever down to backtag!

[hot_handed]

I AIN'T ACTUALLY-!

[Katsuki just groans.]

Whatever. I'll practice healing ya if that's what you really want. But what if someone exploded you into billions of pieces, then what?

[goldtoxicity]

Like, me entirely? I'd probably be dead.

But if someone knocked an arm or something off I could probably grow it back. Like... a lizard.

[hot_handed]

Damn. [He almost seems disappointed?

And then his eye starts twitching.]

"Probably"? You don't know for sure?

[goldtoxicity]

Look, dude, back home I'm a badass immortal with the power to revive the dead.

The porter hella nerfed me so I dunno what my limits are anymore.

[hot_handed]

...You ever try reviving the dead here?