maskormenace | Video.

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[CW for: blood & injuries, cursing]

[He's getting sick of this being ported out and ported back in shit. Only this time, months have passed, and he's not been left unscathed. Katsuki is wandering around Heropa, his movements almost...drunken, and while it might be harder to see via the network as he turns it on, it's apparent that he's bleeding heavily from his left shoulder. Those in his vicinity may also notice that he's bleeding from his stomach and both wounds go straight through his body. His breathing is strained as he growls out.]

Where is he-

["Uhm, Mr. Lord Got Arrested Killing People, you really should go to the hospit-"]

WHERE IS THAT SON OF A BITCH?! I'LL KILL HIM, I'LL-

["A villain! My purse has all my coupons!

With a controlled explosion, Katsuki goes flying toward the purse-snatcher, retrieving the person's purse with his teeth. Unfortunately, the second blast is less controlled thanks to his current state and he does a back-flip in midair before landing on his face. Standing up, he snarls and throws the purse at its owner, swaying as he continues his rant.]

OKAY YOU ASSHOLES, LISTEN UP! THE NAME AIN'T LORD EXPLOSION MURDER NO MORE, GET READY TO FEAR GREAT EXPLOSION MURDER GOD DYNAMIGHT!!!!

ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU CRUST BA-bas ...bastar-mmmph-

[The blood loss finally cuts his threats short, leading him to passing out right there.]

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[ it feels so strange. It doesn't feel like he normally would if someone touched the rest of his body but Kaneki can still feel the touch. And the kagune itself feels very smooth and if Katsuki were to squeeze it it'd feel like muscle (Kaneki can harden it, but he won't) ; the scales can move, but Kaneki keeps them flattened down and instead they shine at the touch, like a pulse of red brightness passing through it.

Kaneki doesn't fully understand his feelings towards it. Takizawa-San had laughed when Kaneki asked him if he liked his kagune, claiming it's the same as asking someone if they like their leg. And maybe that would be true for a natural born ghoul, but Ken never had this before last year.

It's not his. It's Rize's.]

... It's weird, that this is a part of me. It belongs to Rize-San, not me... [ Kaneki never spoke of Rize, he realizes.

His hand gently reaches for the kagune, resting it close to Katsuki's hand]

[Pretty. And with the ability to be deadly. Kaneki's kagune is like the rest of him in that and Katsuki just watches the tendril shine for a moment, mesmerized.

He knows Kaneki has a lot of issues accepting his ghoul side. He can't blame him seeing as some pieces of shit experimented on him. He looks up, the spell broken when Kaneki speaks.]

Who's Rize?

[ who's Rize. That's the million dollars question, isn't it? Because Kaneki doesn't know either, not really, and he was trying to find out before he ended here, so fervently that he put himself in danger by following Tsukiyama who promised he'd tell Ken more about her. Kaneki sees her in his dreams and nightmares, sometimes in his own reflection; in truth, she is always in his mind and never leaves.

He looks at Katsuki for a moment before he looks at the kagune, fingers gripping on it while in response the tendril wrapped around his hand.]

She was... The most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. Completely out of my league. But I still couldn't take my eyes off of her and for weeks I built courage to eventually ask her out. [ Ken smiles softly] She said yes. Like out of a novel.

At the end of the date, she tried to kill me and eat me. [ She was a ghoul. Kaneki grips on his kagune harder, and it grips around Kaneki's wrist in return, enough to actually bruise him.]

My accident, the one that sent me to the hospital, she was the reason. And she was the ghoul the doctor used to turn me into this, as well. He gave me her organs. [ Kaneki releases the kagune and it releases him as well. The bruise will disappear with seconds, as if nothing had happened]

This is her kagune.

[ yes this all happened because Kaneki went on a goddamn date]

Edited 2021-01-10 13:35 (UTC)

[Katsuki is quiet while Kaneki talks. It's not often that his lover talks about his past, so when he does he knows that it's important.

He didn't expect it to take that turn. But it explains a lot. Like how Kaneki ended up part-ghoul. There's a bitter taste in his mouth and anger under his skin toward Rize, the asshole doctor, everyone. Petting Kaneki's kagune, he stops to put his hand over Kaneki's.]

Shit. No wonder you're weird about using it.

[ Kaneki nods softly, while the kagune moves to join their hands]

Takizawa-San tried to make me see it was just another organ. Like a kidney or liver - you don't like or dislike it. [ and he gets that.] I don't... Hate the kagune. [ he smiles just a little] But this is hers.

Rize-San didn't give it to me and I didn't ask for it, either. [ Kaneki reaches for it, fingers moving across the shiny scales] I know at some point, I have to make it mine.

[He looks down at Kaneki's kagune, squeezing Kaneki's hand.]

You will. You're strong. [...] I like it when it does- shit like this. What's it feel like for you?

[ Kaneki squeezes Katsuki's hand as well, and the tendril moves again to gently wrap around both hands] It's hard to explain... [ he thinks for a second, trying to find the words] When someone touches your hair, you feel it because it's attached to your scalp and there are nerve endings at your scalp that will detect it.

It's the same with the kagune. I will feel you touch it, not exactly because I feel that particular spot you are touching, but because it tells my body what's happening. [ it's complicated yeah]

I can also feel your warmth with it.

[Katsuki snorts softly as he listens.]

You just explained it perfectly.

[Tilting his head down, he kisses Kaneki's kagune before kissing his lips.]

Guess I'll have to strengthen those nerve endings of yours.

[ Ken's eyes go wide when Katsuki kisses the tendril, and the scales shine bright in response. They don't only respond to physical touches, the kagune also responds to Kaneki's mood - and not just when he is hungry ]

D-don't... kiss it... [ it's still a deadly thing, right???? And weird??? And-

And Kaneki just felt his heart race and he had no idea that hearing and seeing Katsuki so willing to accept Kaneki's ghoul nature to this extent would make him... So happy. Because in the end, that's how he feels, as weird as it sounds.

Even if he finds it disgusting and monstrous and even if Kaneki is afraid of it... Katsuki isn't. And that makes Ken feel so warm.]

Don't tell me what to do.

[He growls, and smirking he kisses it again just to prove his point. He loves Kaneki, including his ghoul nature and kagune, and he'll stubbornly keep repeating it.]

It's pretty. But it also gives you away.

[ Kaneki watches Katsuki, and the kagune moves gently; it presses against Katsuki's cheek and then rubs against him. Until Kaneki leans in and kisses Katsuki himself on the lips.]

What do you mean?

[Katsuki's gaze softens and he leans into the tendril, eyes half-lidded, and returns the kiss.]

It gets embarrassed when you do. It gets brighter when you're happy- but it's fine because I'm already pretty good at reading ya anyway.

Eh?

[ he didn't know that! Kaneki looks at the kagune, and the tendril just... Shines again. And suddenly Kaneki just pushes it away, embarrassed]

That's no fair...!

[Katsuki snickers, but then he winces from laughing and leans in to kiss it again.]

Don't worry so much about it, like I said, I can read it like one of your books.

Hm... My books can be really hard to read though. [ ah. In the end, Katsuki is starting to see right through him. Kaneki always thought it was so hard for people to understand him and yet, this person does it so effortlessly.

Kaneki moves to carefully wrap his arms around his lover. The kagune goes back to doing the same too, the three tendrils finding a good place wrapping around Katsuki's body without hurting him]

... Katsuki, before, you-

[ he stops. Ken isn't sure if he should bring it up, since he could be very well just half asleep then and that's why the other said it.

"I love you".]

Maybe for some people, but I ain't no moron.

[Katsuki leans into Kaneki and his tendrils, reaching to card his fingers through Kaneki's hair.]

Mn? Before I what?

[While he was tired, he remembers it clearly. He meant what he said.]

[ Kaneki isn't sure how to bring it up or if he should. He could very well screw everything up and Ken doesn't want that.

It's fine like this, too.]

Your food must be arriving soon. I will go get your things when it does.

[Katsuki glares at Kaneki.

And then he leans in to kiss him...lightly biting his bottom lip.]

What were you going to say?

[ as usual Katsuki doesn't like him holding back. Kaneki's bad habit isn't something he allows that often]

... You were falling asleep so... You probably don't remember.

It's fine. You don't have to worry--[ Kaneki is getting nervous.]

What...?

[He presses his hands on each side of Kaneki's face, staring until his eyes widen in realization.]

You talking about me saying I love you? I do. I don't say things I don't mean. I love you so fucking much. So-

[Ah, but his face is turning pink now.]

So...don't be dumb. Fucking nerd.

[ Kaneki's eyes just stare at Katsuki, wide, and his throat doesn't allow him to make a sound at first. His face turns bright red and the butterflies in his stomach that always seem to be there when he is with Bakugou, and now fluttering everywhere,all over Kaneki's body.

His hands reach for Katsuki's, squeezing them, and it's obvious Kaneki is trying not to cry]

I love you... [ it's a very quiet and soft voice at first, but Kaneki will repeat it again, louder, with certainty too] I love you, Katsuki. I'm so in love with you.

H-Hey...

[Alarm starts to set in when he sees Kaneki holding back tears. Did he say something wrong? But then Kaneki says that and his fears dissipate. Warmth floods his chest and his heartbeat speeds up and he beams, leaning in so their foreheads touch.]

Yeah, I know. I'm in love with you too.

[ Ken nuzzles his lover, smiling as he hears him, before he pulls away to furiously rub his eyes to dry his tears ] I'm always crying abut this...! I feel like a cry baby, it's embarrassing!

[ Kaneki doesn't have a good perception of what love and being loved means. To him, pain comes with it - he has always been hurt by the people he loves - and that was something Kaneki accepted as part of what love was, as much as it hurt him, as much as it left him feel despair. Physical pain but also emotional, how he can't be a priority, even though deep down Ken wishes to be so. But it doesn't hurt with Katsuki: he is gentle, kind, and puts him first. As if it's alright for Ken to be a priority to him. "Not a burden", he said before.

And so kaneki cries because he didn't know it could be like this, and he didn't know it could feel like this. To love and to be loved doesn't have to be painful. ]

[Katsuki smiles until Kaneki pulls away. Frowning, he reaches for his hands, kissing them and the tears he's wiped away.]

You think I don't know that already? It doesn't embarrass me- Nothing you could do would ever embarrass me, you fucking dork.

[There are a lot of times Katsuki isn't sure how to show love and that he cares about Kaneki and loves him. He gets flustered and annoyed and he has a hard time opening up. But he loves Kaneki and wants to share his life with him. Kaneki isn't a burden. If anything, he's the burden, and Kaneki has to put up with him. But that's neither here nor there right now.

He just wants Kaneki to realize that he can be put first.]

[ kaneki laughs lightly, nuzzling into Katsuki's hand after he reaches for his cheeks, his own hand holding on to the other's wrists ] I know you don't.

You have no shame at all. [ he teases now, kisses Katsuki's palm after. ] I love that about you, too. [ every part of katsuki, really. he loves him ]

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