maskormenace | une { vidéo } electricity is really just organized lightning

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une { vidéo } electricity is really just organized lightning

[ the pretty blonde suddenly on the screen is smiling but it looks forced. after a second and a few muttered curses in a foreign language, she smacks the phone with the heal of her hand and her face brightens into something more genuine. ]

The Fonz was right. [ uh, duh? her soft voice is clearly american, but instead of the dropped r's and bonus h's that normally are indicative of a bostonian, her accent has the faintest trace of french. quelle horreur. but! like a true masshole, she already has an iced coffee in hand because new england runs on dunkin isn't just a catchphrase, it's a genuine fact. ]

Hiya, I'm Rosie. I'm "new" here. [ she throws up little air quotes with the hand still wrapped around her coffee. ] I'll be living at... number 3 in De Chima. And I have a few questions of that's all right with you all. Which I suspect it will be because if not, you can just turn me off, can't you? In which case, nice to meet you and toodles.

On to my questions.

One. [ her free hand holds up her index finger. ] I've woken up in a strange place with a tattoo I don't remember getting before, but is that really what happened with everyone else, too?

Two. [ her middle finger joins the first. peace, bitches. ] Is there nowhere around here I can get a Hoodsie cup?

And three. [ ring finger up, brownie salute. ] While I am used to oppressive humidity, this is out of control and I'm going to need directions to the largest BJ's or Sam's Club equivalent because my poor, delicate part-albino skin is getting a sunburn just thinking about the sun so I'm going to have to buy out the entire stock of SPF 50 overkill sunscreen if I'm meant to be working here.

[ another bright smile and the rest of her fingers release to flutter in a wave. ] Merci!

[ c'est fini. the feed goes blank. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Hey look it looks like a white chick from back home. She just needs some yoga pants and she would be GOOD TO GO.]

i don't think they have hoodsie cups around here
or BJs but idk havent done any bulk shopping since i showed up

[ WOW SHE IS TOTALLY NOT WEARING YOGA PANTS. but only because she was heading to work and thus, not lounging around the house or actually doing yoga. ]

uncultured swine.

is nothing sacred anymore?

Edited 2014-11-13 02:44 (UTC)

guess not

[They were interdimensionally kidnapped. Sacred doesn't really cover it anymore by a longshot.]

booo. anywho, thanks for the heads up, stranger who hasn't introduced themselves yet.

oh i'm jayden
hi

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Higher SPF doesn't actually help you much. Useful fact! So you can probably spend less on the entire stock of SPF 15 instead.

[There's a pause.]

Did they make it so you're working outside?

I'm so fond of the higher SPFs though, like a placebo effect! [ she hums thoughtfully because that makes no sense, self, but moves on without seeming to dwell on her utter lack of common sense and/or logic. WHO NEEDS IT. ]

I'm an electrical engineer so, as experience has taught me, most of the time I'll be inside fiddling around -- that's a technical term, I assure you -- but sometimes I'll have to climb telephone poles like a lemur on speed and poke around up there where I will inevitably be sunburned because I'm basically one those little vampire girls from the Lifetime movie I saw when I was twelve and still cannot remember the name of.

[ /babble.

or is it?!?! ]

You could always use your imPort sway. "Oh, but I'm afraid of heights. Can I finally be done with the lemur-like activities?" And then you can feel bad for everyone else's sunburn and your bent morality while remaining securely inside.

[She pauses.]

Of course, I feel a little bad for even suggesting that.

[ that brings a smirk to her lips and a soft laugh. ]

You do make a valid point. Acrophobia wasn't in my file so, presumably, they don't know if I have a profound case of it or not.

Alas, I'm one of those people who actually really love my job. [ her nose wrinkles. ] Bathing in sunscreen'll do me for now.

Thanks though. Does that imPort sway really work? All I've had so far is little kidlets asking to see my power, which is really easy so doesn't seem like much of a bother to show them.

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"Hoodsie cup"?

Let me tell you a thing. A hoodsie cup is a miraculous creation. Small and compact, if holds both vanilla and chocolate ice cream -- or alternately vanilla and strawberry. They're a staple of ice cream socials in New England and summer BBQs.

Fabulous creations.

... so it's an ice cream.

Yes, it's just far superior to all other ice creams because of it's impact on my very early life and because I said so, basically.

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What's a Hoodsie cup?

A hoodsie cup is a teeny ice cream cup that combines chocolate and vanilla ice cream so you never have to choose.

Oh. I never had ice-cream before, but it looks very tasty.

Hold up, you've never had ice cream before?

Oh but that's awful!

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[Jennifer smiles at the woman when she replies; she looks tired, but is otherwise friendly.]

De Chima number three? I live there, too- I'm Jennifer.

Hii there.

[ rosie bleeds friendly. ]

Nice to meet you, as it were, through the phone. [ the hand holding her iced coffee waves aimlessly as if saying whatever. ] Hello!

Hello! Hopefully it will be in person soon- I'm not actually there at the moment.

Run away to the circus, have you? Seems fair.

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One, yes. Two, apparently not. I've looked into them, though, and I'll commend you for your good taste. And three, I do think that could be arranged. [ a smile! ] And might I add, it's good to see someone show up with her priorities in order.

Well, I do like to be comfortable. Hoodsie cups and sunscreen are key ingredients.

I suppose I will just have to buy Neapolitan and ignore the strawberry. [ her mouth curves down in a pout. boo. ]

But thanks. Love a good compliment on my first day in a new universe.

So many new arrivals here are so concerned with having been kidnapped, and oh, what important business they were in the middle of! It's much more interesting to see someone arrive like you have.

Knock Out, by the way. Pleasure meeting you, Rosie.

You as well.

As for my important business, I was on the train to work. For the government, so really not much has changed. Sam will probably feed the cat.

Or the cat will remind Sam to eat, something like that.