(no subject)

[bumblebeeb]

[ The video opens on Booster Gold, shirtless, in blindingly gold spandex shorts, standing in front of the ocean. It's sunset, but the lighting's all wrong. Almost like it's... a fake backdrop in someone's garage.

Oh. ]

Hello, fellow ImPorts! Booster Gold here. Like what you see? Of course you do. Want to see more? Of course you do!

[ Photos flash on screen: Booster in an open-chested Santa Claus costume. Booster surrounded by teddy bears with a rose in his teeth. Booster dressed as what appears to be a sexy Thanksgiving turkey. Luckily that's the last one. ]

Enticed? Entranced? Other E-words? Shh. Don't speak. I know.

For the low, low price of only $19.99, you can be the proud owner of the Officially Licensed Booster Gold Mancalendar. Twelve months of yours truly — and what's more, all proceeds go directly to charity!

The Booster Gold Mancalendar — just in time for the holidays! They make the perfect gift for family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and your paperboy. And even better, each and every copy is autographed.

All naysayers will be put down for five copies each.

[ WINK. ]

[Mercifully, there's a loud throat-clearing from behind the camera, which is hastily set down on a table or something.] Booster. Get to the cars already.

[After a moment, Ted comes into view.] What my friend here means to say is that this calendar here is sponsored by Kord Enterprises. Or, uh, what's going to be Kord Enterprises. Eventually. [He picks up the camera again and turns it around, to reveal what looks to be a stunningly gorgeous, new and improved Kord version of the flying cars that are so prevalent around Heropa.]

We probably should have included more of these shots in the calendar, but hey, here's a free first look for you all. So if you're interested, if you want a Mancalendar or just to take a look, come on by. The address is on the calendars. [And in case you don't want a calendar, he gives the address here.] 

Comments

[boobwindow]

I don't want it! I don't ever want it.

[you_tried]

Never's a really long time. A lot can change. You might catch Gold Fever.

[bumblebeeb]

And you might catch a case of getting your nose broken if you keep this up. Leave her alone, Boost.

[boobwindow]

Thank you, Ted.

I don't want to see anyone's shiny cracks.

[bumblebeeb]

I have seen things man should not see. You're welcome.

[boobwindow]

I don't know how you put up with it.

[bumblebeeb]

....Lots of practice?

[boobwindow]

You have the patience of a saint, Ted.

[bumblebeeb]

Or I just like him enough to keep him around. Mostly.

[boobwindow]

Try staying out of trouble yourself.

[bumblebeeb]

Hah. Thanks, I guess?

[boobwindow]

You're welcome.

[bumblebeeb]

I've done a decent job so far.

[boobwindow]

You have matured over the years. I never lied about that.

[bumblebeeb]

[He looks a little bemused, but:]

Thanks, I guess.