maskormenace | video;

[The face that appears on the video screen is most definitely not human. It's blue, for one, and has more antennae than humans tend to. On the plus side, the being whose face it is also happens to be more polite than most humans.]

Greetings, denizens of Earth. I recently arrived in this place and time, for...some reason.

[Because of mad scientists, probably. Though his greeters at least appeared sane.]

My name is Croach the Tracker. I am from G'loot Proktaw. [Added a moment later, to his chagrin:] Which you would designate Mars.

I have already spoken with multiple residents of this planet to learn more about this place and time. Although it is unlikely any of you have access to a time portal and I do not detect a spaceship powerful enough to take me home within this region, I would owe a great onus to anyone who could assist me should I be mistaken.

In return, I can offer my tracking skills. I also have a great deal of experience fighting robot outlaws should you have need in this area.

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[It's a small human child with a pair of goggles pushed up on her forehead and a smear of some kind of grease across a cheek.]

I can build you a time machine or a spaceship, but it's not gonna do any good. You're not in your universe of origin.

Unfortunate.

[But not, judging by his tone, as surprising as it might have been.]

How is it that you have the skills to build such things, youngling?

My Dad builds a lot of spaceships and my godfather builds a lot of time machines.

[It doesn't explain the three year old talking like an adult, though.]

I am afraid you are not mistaken. Even if the humans of this place did have such technology, it would not get you to your particular home.

Ah. I had not realized Earth children were apprenticed at such a young age. Sensible.

I'm an outlier. Most kids my age are still a little unclear on the whole "language" thing.

[She likes aliens. They don't ask dumb questions about "shouldn't you be in preschool" and "how can you possibly have built that giant laser."]

Others have told me this, but I would only incur more onus if I did not make an attempt. Now I will merely have to be patient.

[Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Which is why Croach doesn't.]

It must be extremely frustrating. My people begin language acquisition as soon as we fight our broodmates for dominance and consume them.

Patience is a virtue anywhere, especially in this place. It appears that arrival and departure from this place is completely random.

Heh. Human society restricts competition for fitness to adults. Children are a protected class, so I get a head start.

[Not bothered at all by cannibalism, apparently.]

[ The face on the other end is squinting. ]

Mars? Like...native to Mars, or just a resident? [ A pause. ] Oh, and, welcome to being...trapped? If you need help, I'm sure we're all happy to offer it, but ships are kind of a tall order.

And very inconvenient. Where is it that you come from?

I was hatched on my planet and reside there to this day.

[Present circumstances exclude it.]

Yes, I have seen this. Earth technology is very primitive here.

Huh. Never heard of "native" martians.

[ That's racist. ]

Unfortunately, it kind of is. They tried space flight, and got themselves into trouble, I don't think they're going to try it again anytime soon, I'm afraid. And most of us who've been to space that are here aren't really...spaceflight engineers.

Thessia. It is a planet outside of the Sol system.

[ whooooa what the heck is that. ]

Um, I don't think there are any robot outlaws here...I don't think there are even any robots to begin with.

[ she goes to the effort to shift out of her human form before turning the video on, so they can talk one bug alien to another. but she's grey, and more horned than antennaed. they don't really look as outwardly buglike after pupating. ]

Kanaya Maryam, from Alternia. You, uh, probably don't have it in your universe. Unfortunately, Croach, I regret to inform you that returning to your planet won't do a terrible amount of good, as it's highly likely you'll find the civilization there absent.

So, you'll unfortunately have to learn to deal with Earth.

[It's not cannibalism, it is part of the miracle of life and it is beautiful.]

That seems very backward. How else can you thrive at an early age?

Then the imPort device can reach extremely far. Fascinating.

[Croach doesn't know of any other kind.]

We are the only beings to live on G'loot Proktaw until humans and robots came to make it their home.

What is your experience with space?

[Rude.]

Not yet. But if the timeline of this world resembles the Earth I am familiar with at all, they are inevitable.

Weird. The only thing we have on Mars is small colonies and research centers.

[ He paused. ]

I'm a marine, I've been in space for my entire military career, and before that, really. Got shipped out to a station when I was a kid. How do you live on Mars? I mean -- I assume you don't breathe oxygen.

[ Well, this is interesting. ]

I looked at some things, and it sounds like the people here haven't been to Mars before. Is it hard to get there?

Edited 2014-12-02 17:36 (UTC)

I don't think the timeline of the world resembles any of our Earths, especially since it's got flying cars.

I suspected this, but I did not wish to make unfounded assumptions. It will not be a great hardship to adjust; I have known many Earth humans.

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