video;

[quantifies]

[The face that appears on the video screen is most definitely not human. It's blue, for one, and has more antennae than humans tend to. On the plus side, the being whose face it is also happens to be more polite than most humans.]

Greetings, denizens of Earth. I recently arrived in this place and time, for...some reason.

[Because of mad scientists, probably. Though his greeters at least appeared sane.]

My name is Croach the Tracker. I am from G'loot Proktaw. [Added a moment later, to his chagrin:] Which you would designate Mars.

I have already spoken with multiple residents of this planet to learn more about this place and time. Although it is unlikely any of you have access to a time portal and I do not detect a spaceship powerful enough to take me home within this region, I would owe a great onus to anyone who could assist me should I be mistaken.

In return, I can offer my tracking skills. I also have a great deal of experience fighting robot outlaws should you have need in this area.

Comments

[video]

[smarterthandad]

[It's a small human child with a pair of goggles pushed up on her forehead and a smear of some kind of grease across a cheek.]

I can build you a time machine or a spaceship, but it's not gonna do any good. You're not in your universe of origin.

[video]

[quantifies]

Unfortunate.

[But not, judging by his tone, as surprising as it might have been.]

How is it that you have the skills to build such things, youngling?

[video]

[smarterthandad]

My Dad builds a lot of spaceships and my godfather builds a lot of time machines.

[It doesn't explain the three year old talking like an adult, though.]

[ video ]

[justimom]

I am afraid you are not mistaken. Even if the humans of this place did have such technology, it would not get you to your particular home.

[ video ]

[quantifies]

Others have told me this, but I would only incur more onus if I did not make an attempt. Now I will merely have to be patient.

[ video ]

[justimom]

Patience is a virtue anywhere, especially in this place. It appears that arrival and departure from this place is completely random.

Video

[kanadian]

[ The face on the other end is squinting. ]

Mars? Like...native to Mars, or just a resident? [ A pause. ] Oh, and, welcome to being...trapped? If you need help, I'm sure we're all happy to offer it, but ships are kind of a tall order.

Video

[quantifies]

I was hatched on my planet and reside there to this day.

[Present circumstances exclude it.]

Yes, I have seen this. Earth technology is very primitive here.

Video

[kanadian]

Huh. Never heard of "native" martians.

[ That's racist. ]

Unfortunately, it kind of is. They tried space flight, and got themselves into trouble, I don't think they're going to try it again anytime soon, I'm afraid. And most of us who've been to space that are here aren't really...spaceflight engineers.

video;

[friendshiprocks]

[ whooooa what the heck is that. ]

Um, I don't think there are any robot outlaws here...I don't think there are even any robots to begin with.

video;

[quantifies]

[Rude.]

Not yet. But if the timeline of this world resembles the Earth I am familiar with at all, they are inevitable.

video;

[friendshiprocks]

I don't think the timeline of the world resembles any of our Earths, especially since it's got flying cars.

video.

[glowsferatu]

[ she goes to the effort to shift out of her human form before turning the video on, so they can talk one bug alien to another. but she's grey, and more horned than antennaed. they don't really look as outwardly buglike after pupating. ]

Kanaya Maryam, from Alternia. You, uh, probably don't have it in your universe. Unfortunately, Croach, I regret to inform you that returning to your planet won't do a terrible amount of good, as it's highly likely you'll find the civilization there absent.

So, you'll unfortunately have to learn to deal with Earth.

video.

[quantifies]

I suspected this, but I did not wish to make unfounded assumptions. It will not be a great hardship to adjust; I have known many Earth humans.

video.

[glowsferatu]

Mm. In my experience it can be vastly different to know a human and to live on their planet. Like thinking you can swim because you've had a glass of water. But you're a neighbor at least, that may help it along.

text

[rathercommon]

[ Well, this is interesting. ]

I looked at some things, and it sounds like the people here haven't been to Mars before. Is it hard to get there?

text

[quantifies]

Travel between our planets is not uncommon, though the trip may take some time. It has been this way for many years.

[permavid]

[jumbie]

[More aliens, what a great day! Well, maybe not, not all aliens are very nice as she's learned over the past few years.

She looks human except for the faintly glowing eyes.]

Mars, huh? As far as anyone knows Earth is the only inhabitable planet in that system but no one wants to go there.

[permavid]

[quantifies]

G'loot Proktaw is extremely habitable. My tribe has lived there for countless years, and Earth humans began to settle there after the great terraforming.

[somethinghidden]

I don't know that I can help you, really.
But when you say tracking skills, what sorts of things can you track?
People? Objects? Anything?

[quantifies]

Anything. My twenty-eight senses allow me to track very easily.

video

[bioshift]

[ WHAT'S THIS, WHAT'S THIS, THERE'S ... cute little antennae on his head. And that's not really that strange, but the mention of Mars is kind of a big deal and has her perking up and flipping through her communicator like a thirteen year old white girl in high school. ]

Y-You're from Mars? [ Ahem. ] I've ... got my ship here with me, but I don't think it could get you that far. Not without really running into trouble, at least.

video

[quantifies]

That is all right; in this time, it would be unlikely my tribe would be there. But it was important that I investigate all possibilities.

[Also because this is a different dimension...universe...thing.]

Where do you usually travel in your ship?

Video

[bays]

[Tom tries not to stare, because he's polite too.

It's just his grammar.]

You're a real Martian? Like in them science fiction films.

Video

[quantifies]

I have not seen many Earth films, but I was hatched on G'loot Proktaw and have lived there all my life.