maskormenace | video;

[The face that appears on the video screen is most definitely not human. It's blue, for one, and has more antennae than humans tend to. On the plus side, the being whose face it is also happens to be more polite than most humans.]

Greetings, denizens of Earth. I recently arrived in this place and time, for...some reason.

[Because of mad scientists, probably. Though his greeters at least appeared sane.]

My name is Croach the Tracker. I am from G'loot Proktaw. [Added a moment later, to his chagrin:] Which you would designate Mars.

I have already spoken with multiple residents of this planet to learn more about this place and time. Although it is unlikely any of you have access to a time portal and I do not detect a spaceship powerful enough to take me home within this region, I would owe a great onus to anyone who could assist me should I be mistaken.

In return, I can offer my tracking skills. I also have a great deal of experience fighting robot outlaws should you have need in this area.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Most...aliens I know don't really like humanity's...presumption.

How long have your people know humans?

For nearly one thousand Earth years, though it is only in more recent decades that we began residing on my planet together.

Huh, your people must be used to us, then. [ A chuff. ] Where I'm from, most people still think we're upstarts, we really just came on the scene less than fifty years ago.

It's an adjustment, I think. Maybe we should start convincing them with beer, if you guys like it so much.

It was not always peaceful, but has become more so in recent years.

[He tenses noticeably here, though]

Your alcoholic beverages are the fourth most delicious ones I have tasted, but no one in my tribe should consume them. They render the sacred Nah Notek within us inert, exposing us to mortal danger.

[ He drew his eyebrows together -- curiously. ]

The, uh, what?

Upon their eleventh cycle, our younglings undergo a maturation ritual that we call the Hee-Ros K'west. If they successfully pass the tests, they are imbued with Nah Notek, and if they are then harmed, it will restore them to an uninjured state of being. Praise Nah Notek.

So...it makes them immortal? Invulnerable?

We are invulnerable in a sense, though we still suffer the pain of injury before being restored. I do not wish to be shot again.

Nobody wants to be shot. No matter what you do, it still stings. Depending on the shit you go through, getting shot again might be an inevitability. Even here.

[Well, that's worrisome.]

On what does our being shot depend on in this world?

That's... a good question.

Hell, it seems like signing up for paintball's enough to get you shot at for real. Or you know, the usual. Sometimes we get kidnapped, there's not really a good marker for when or how or where. It just...happens.

Bah gropa. This is a dangerous world.

That's an understatement if I ever heard one, yeah. It's... it's always dangerous.

What else is there to do, though? Just take it and live, mostly.

This is the practical course of action. I plan to do so as long as I remain here.

That's the spirit, but at least... Well, there's the opportunity to do some good things, too. There's at least that.

What good things do you do?

What I can, when I can. I'm not a -- I'm not one of those superheroes running around, but if someone's in trouble, I'm not exactly going to stand by and let them hurt.

I'm just used to helping people involving a lot more gunfire than what I've seen here, still around, but not quite as much.

[He nods, smiling.]

Our experiences are similar, then. I will also do what I can, though it will undoubtedly require some adjustment.

There's always an adjustment, I think? I don't think we can just show up here and hit the ground running, right? Gotta figure out where we're at before we take off in any direction.

Precisely. You are well spoken.

[ A half smile. ] Media training.

But, ah, if you have any questions, or want some help, I'm generally...around. Either on the network or on base most of the time.

My thanks. I will seek you out should I need to.

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