★ 001 | Video

[unbreaker]

[When the broadcast begins, the young man onscreen (sporting a perfect pompadour with not a single strand of hair out of place) tucks away a comb and reclines upon the front step of one of the government houses, presumably the one he's been assigned. He seems to consider for half a second more what he's going to say, one eyebrow cocking upwards, a strong indication that there's a question brewing, while his lips pucker in a vague showing of frustration.]

Alright...

[Here we go.]

So, I'm digging all the free stuff that people seem to wanna hand out in exchange for photographs with us and whatever, and the hoverboards are really, really awesome. That said, I might actually like these new phones even better, though? They're pretty great! Slim, stylish, lightweight...pocket size. Anyway, all that's nice, but something's been bothering me and I've gotta ask...

What the actual fuck is up with these glow-in-the-dark tattoos?

[His jaw sets stubbornly, blue eyes fixating on something that lies out of view of the camera. Probably the tattoo in question.]

I mean I know what they're for, or what we're being told they're for, but like...

Shit, is this even legal?

[Actually, he's a hell of a lot more concerned with the fact that he wasn't even asked if something could be done to his body, especially as he can't fix it. Talk about invasive. Makes a guy wonder what else was done without his knowing.]

And on that note...I'm kind of curious about this whole registration deal! Anyone got a solid argument for it or against it? 'Cause right now I'm right in the middle and uh...from what I hear, that means my roommates can put me out?

What kind of asshole would do that, though?

Anyway, that's it. That's all I gotta say!

[He reaches forward as if to turn the device off but stops.]

Oh, and the name's Josuke! [Best to get it out now so he's not repeating it a hundred times later.] Josuke Higashikata!

[Click!]

Comments

[unbreaker]

Whoa, whoa...what'd you just call me?

[There's no need to get snippy with him, jeez!]

Pretty sure I'm not being obtuse. The way I see things, it just doesn't make a whole lotta sense to start telling lies to people as soon as I get here. There's enough going on as it is without trying to remember what I've told to who and when or why!

[deadtective]

[of course there is, she's wound up from being dragged here and there aren't that many outlets that aren't panicked screaming.]

It's just about your registration, not about murdering the British Prime Minister or something. You're making it sound like a huge thing!

[unbreaker]

It kind of is a huge thing if it means I could wind up being homeless.

[Did that to a guy once. Didn't look like he had so much fun. Would rather not be in that position himself, thanks.]

[deadtective]

That was a possibility anyway, wasn't it?

[homelessness isn't that bad. but then, she doesn't need to eat or sleep so maybe her opinion is kind of shit. who knows?]

[unbreaker]

Not really, I mean...we're guaranteed a place to live if we register. Our roommates can't kick us out then. Or at least that's what I've been told.

[Which means it's only a possibility one way.]

[deadtective]

Sure. But if you decide not to then you could still get booted, right? Whether you lie or not doesn't change that.

[unbreaker]

Well, yeah, technically...but I'd rather not give the people I'm gonna be living with any extra reason to boot me if they wouldn't actually mind otherwise.

[He sighs and drags his hand across his face.]

It's probably not that big a deal, you're right...but I can't help thinking lying's got the potential to be a bit of a landmine if I happen to be rooming with the wrong kind of person, you know? And I've had enough of shit exploding in my face for a bit.

[deadtective]

Yeah, I can get that. But if you do end up with the wrong kind of person I think they don't really deserve that much respect.

[she's just saying. WHO'S BITTER HAZEL ISN'T BITTER]

[unbreaker]

[She's bitter? Josuke can't tell, he's laughing a little because WELL, she's got a point.]

Don't really think I could have said it better myself. And trust me, anybody wants to kick me out, I don't intend to make it easy for 'em.

[deadtective]

Good. It's shitty to throw someone who got pulled out of their universe onto the street, so if it happens be sure to take all their utensils with you or something.

[why is she so invested in this? it isn't even her own living situation, she shouldn't care. this is not apathy, girl!!]

[unbreaker]

[...laughing more.]

Their utensils? Man...is that the best you can think of?

[deadtective]

I don't know your roommates! How am I supposed to just magically know the most expensive thing they own?

[HUFF PUFF]

It's not like you could take the TV without them noticing!

[unbreaker]

I don't know them either but I can already think of something most people value more than utensils and even TV.

[deadtective]

The cash is mostly digital here, though, isn't it?

[unbreaker]

I was actually thinking more along the lines of their clothes.

[...this is so public these two are idiots.]

[deadtective]

[no it's the perfect strategy now no one will suspect them of committing Ocean's Eleven caliber heists]

But they're always going to have one set on them, right? So all you end up doing is making some charity really happy. That's not much of a revenge.

[unbreaker]

I don't know about you, but I sure don't shower fully clothed...

[deadtective]

No, but you're never going to get all of them showering at once.

[unbreaker]

...well, you never know with some people, but it's probably better I don't hold my breath waiting for that one.

Anyway, I'm starting to think no matter how hard I plan ahead, nothin'll top what I come up with in the moment.

[deadtective]

That good at improv, huh?

[unbreaker]

Pretty good, yeah. Not to boast, but I've always thought better on the fly.

[deadtective]

You better be careful; if you keep talking like that I might have to test you.

[unbreaker]

Oh yeah? I'm game if you are.

[deadtective]

Ok, you asked for it!

[hmmmm, give her a minute to think up an appropriately weird situation...]

So. You go buy a box of donuts and come out to a bunch of cops swarming your car. They tell you that there's a dead body in it! Which is bullshit - until they open the trunk and, whoops, there it is.

Also, they're jostling you hard enough to bruise the donuts. Make your escape!

[Hazel, how much of this are you drawing from your personal life...]

[unbreaker]

You can bruise a donut?

[SO not the issue here.]

And how'd they even know it was my car if I came out and they were already there?

[ALSO not the issue.]

I guess the important thing here is that I can get new donuts, but I can only do that if I get the hell out of that situation, right? Oh, and figuring out how somebody stashed a body in the trunk without me knowing is also a thing. Can't do that locked up, so the cops're gonna wear the donuts while I get in the car, lock the doors, and get the fuck out of there. It'll take them at least ten or twenty seconds to get back in their vehicles and chase me, and that gives me a good enough head start to get out of sight.

[Honestly, though...he's not even sure if that's what he would do because again, posing a scenario isn't really the same thing. He still has to think, whereas if he was actually in the moment and he didn't have to care whether or not he was saying shit about his powers, he could do a heck of a lot more than he's giving himself credit for right now.]