[Alfie doesn't appear onscreen - instead, the camera is directed at two dogs, who are sitting in his living room. He zooms in first on one, then the other. Both are alert, interested, and curious - they're in a new place! They want to explore! But they were told to sit nicely and be filmed, and being the good doggos that they are, they're doing it.]These dogs, their owner has fucked off home, and so I've adopted them. From what I've heard, there were a great number of dogs in the house they came out of, so who's got the rest of 'em, then? I thought that being the social and loyal creatures that they are, they might benefit from seeing their old mates every so often. Better for their, you know, canine mental health and such. Yeah.
[The first dog stretches forward and sniffs the camera, giving everybody a nice close-up of his doggy nose.] Digby, back, back--
[Alfie's hand appears to give him a gentle shove, saving the screen from potential slobber.]Right, then - my other question was, do pet shops of a reasonable size exist? Yeah, I know, this is America, this is the future, you've got to go over the top with everything - but this PetsMarket place is the size of a large warehouse. Eh? It's fucking unnecessary. Something manageable, that would be better. Something that isn't a
chain store; those are always the worst of the bunch. Thank you.