[Video]

[aka_pistachio]

[Fade in on a young woman, looking up slightly. The angle highlights her overlarge eyes and long nose in an awkward way, because while the shot is well-framed she's not quite so accomplished at actually working the angles of her own particular face. Her expression is overly serious, with an edge of bewilderment that she is very much trying to conceal.]

Ok. So. I'm here, now. Along with all of you. So I don't have to explain how fucking weird all this shit is to you guys, right? Like, you've all gone through this.

So I'll just cut to the part where I did not have like, fucking, superpowers? Before I got here? Like, that just wasn't a thing where I'm from? And now I have these like, abilities and I don't fucking know what to do with this. I keep making cop radios play NWA which is fucking funny as hell but I think I should probably be like, practicing this shit? And also maybe finding more like, actual useful uses for it?

Anyway if you have any advice, I'm all ears. Or if you know of a "I used to be a normal person now I have to deal with this shit" kind of support group or anything that would be cool. Also how do I get these randos to leave me the fuck alone because I'd really like to be able to get like, a fucking cup of coffee without strangers wanting selfies with me. This shit is weird.

ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ ♆ i threaten the network with tahini and trash-flavored cabbages

[ripstides]

[ when the feed comes on, there's nothing spectacularly special in the background. a vague cityscape. there's a young man with dark hair and sea-green eyes who somehow manages to sound serious and appear casual at the same time. ]

My name is Percy Jackson. [ boy, how many times has he said that in his life? too many. it feels like waaaay too many times. ] I’m from New York. And as much as I hate to be that guy that puts a personal ad up for everyone to see, I’m looking for some people.

One might even say a camp load of people. Maybe. I don’t know. Do people say that? [ percy, just…...stop. ] Okay, scratch that. Nobody in the history of the universe has ever said that.

[ he rolls his eyes, huffs a breath, and then presses on. like okay, i've got this. ]

I’m looking for one person. Does the name Annabeth Chase sound familiar to anyone? If it does (and she doesn't beat you to saying so), can you point me in the right direction? [ anyone that does know her may notice that he's wearing similarly fashioned camp beads around his neck. ]

One more thing before I go. It's only the most important question of your life. Humor me. [ he steps away for a second to grab something. two somethings. guess who has two hands and is now holding a little basket of onion rings in one and a little basket of french fries in the other? uh, this guy! yeah, he's kiiinda standing a ways back from the camera to manage this. ] French fries or onion rings? You can't say both. Both is cheating. Cheaters get hummus. Or brussels sprouts. [ he narrows his eyes. wait, no, hold on. he can think of something worse, like: ] Hummus and brussels sprouts.

[ he's totally going to eat both, but sure. solve the struggle. and for the record, no, it hasn't occurred to him to scroll a few entries back because fried deliciousness, that's why. ]]

anonymous text

[knaval]

how do u find out what ur ment to do w ur life?

[no longer affected by the nudge gun, he's back to happily interacting with organics. mercifully.]

9. Jorse [text]

[continuousgroaning]

i think about horses a lot

almost as much as i think about love and romance and dating boys

so when i needed to come up with an opinion poll for a school assignment, what better topic than horses, right, and then i saw this



so here's my opinion poll, should horses wear pants??? or are they beautiful enough just the way they are?

1st bullet [video]

[mindsnakes]

[Of course he has his mask and the vocal modulator on. Because he doesn't trust anyone here, and likely never will. And he has good reason. Exhibit A: the file on him that he'd found laying under that smarmy pamphlet. And that job voucher. He's not even thinking about that right now.

He brandishes the folder at the camera.]

Who the fuck did this? [Someone who could hack AEGIS's files, for one thing. But that's only half of it. There's...other stuff in here. Personal stuff.]

Look, I know what we were up to in the goddam 80s. And this wasn't fucking part of it. You think I haven't read AEGIS's encrypted files? [He totally has. It's part of his rogue agent street cred.]

You probably think this is some kind of sick joke. Let's see how hard you laugh when I find you.

[The threat is real! ]

And trust me, jackass. I will find you.