1 | Video

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

HELLO! I’m a hero now!

[As stressful as stuff’s been around here lately, this little newcomer obviously doesn’t know about any of that. Among tired eyes from Feburary’s craziness she’s all smiles and excitement.]

This is awesome! I’m gonna get All The Badges for this. [A loud and unmistakable gasp!] I bet I can get my Heroic Hero badge! That’s the last one I need to get the Up-Outstanding Citizen pin. Yeeeees. Jo is gonna be so jealous.

[Ripley looks up and away from the camera, pursing her lips and obviously thinking hard. She isn’t speaking to the network so much anymore, she’s kind of drifted off into her own place.] But I need a Lumberjane leader to sign off on my badge requirements, and Jen’s not here! Noooooooo!! Maybe I could get another leader to do it? Are there even Lumberjanes here? Or Scouting Lads?

[Something jogs her memory of the camera infront of her and she looks back. She widens her eyes and addresses her audience again.] Stay away from the Scouting Lads! They’ve got zombie brains!

[She’s got another more to say on that though. So she goes silent. But only for a second, coming back with a complete topic change.]

Who wants to go on a hike!? Or make cookies. Except, I don’t know how to make cookies so, I guess who wants to teach me how to make cookies?

Comments

[huitzilin]

[ hold on she has to think about this one.

she slowly turns in the air as she ponders this one over. ]

...

[ then, suddenly, it comes to her! ]

Totally!! Sometimes I dream of this salamander but I'm also a superhero and the salamander came after me in the hospital and there was fire everywhere!

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

[LOUD GASP.] That's so hardcore!

Was the salamander hurt in the fire!? Was he? Is he okay!?

[huitzilin]

He was an evil salamander trying to kill me!

[ this is a real story. ]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Oh! In that case! I hope you stopped him and called his parents on him.

[huitzilin]

I don't know if he had any parents ...

[ she looks thoughtful. maybe he did? ]

But I bet they would've been disappointed!

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

They should be! Attacking people is such bad manners, he should have been raised better.

[huitzilin]

Why are you a hardcore lady type? Did you fight fire salamanders too?

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

I had god powers! And rode a dinosaur into battle! And I'm a fastball!

[huitzilin]

Had? You were all powerful too? Why don't you have god powers anymore?

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

I used the powers to make the powers go away so it couldn't be used for evil.

[huitzilin]

Who was going to use it for evil?

[ her expression sobers a bit at that. ]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Artemis. Or Apollo. They were fighting over it.

[huitzilin]

So you made it go away.

[ hey, she totally gets that. ]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Yup! No more fighting. Plus I gave them kittens.

[huitzilin]

I have a kitten! Her name is Ben.

[ there's a pause and a thoughtful huff. ]

Wanna be friends?

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

[In a voice brimming with excitement:] That's a perfect kitten name.

And yeah I wanna be friends! I'm Ripley.

[huitzilin]

I'm Aracely! Hi Ripley!

Let's be Lumberjanes together, okay?

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Okay! But you're gonna need a Lumberjanes neckerchief!

[huitzilin]

I want one, I want one, I want one!

[ it's like a mantra. ]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

I'll make one! [...she'll make an approximation of one.]

[huitzilin]

[ a squeak comes out. ] Really?!

[ whatever it is she'll love it. ]

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Really! You can't be a real Lumberjane without one after all.

[huitzilin]

Yay!! Real Lumberjane, real Lumberjane friends! Let's get smoothies and barbecue and tell stories and even sleepovers.

[fastballspeciaaaaal]

Sleepovers! Yeeeees, that sounds awesome! And we should make fires and roast marshmellows and--

And pull pranks! [EXTRA SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THAT IDEA]

[huitzilin]

Pull pranks!

We can do that, it'll be so much fun!