cecil palmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
welcome) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
maskormenace2015-03-28 12:32 pm
welcome) wrote in maskormenace2015-03-28 12:32 pm
voice;
[A smooth, low voice comes over the feed. So he doesn't have his own show anymore. So he can't, legally, call himself a reporter in this world. But he has this network, and it's better than nothing.]
We seem to have some sort of friendly epidemic on our hands. Some of you are once again experiencing the joys of childhood, while others have been granted a glimpse into the ravages of age.
[A wistful sigh. The incident hasn't affected him, sadly. He wouldn't mind a return to his youth. Even a vision of his future body would have been interesting. He does wonder about the state of his hair in ten years.]
If you're upset about this situation, then I say--don't be. Try to enjoy it! If you're young, take advantage of your freshly empowered body. Run around for hours. Traipse in the dirt. Come home and eat ten hot dogs, with little to no digestive consequences. Drink a gallon of soda, and revel in your body's ability to somehow turn so many empty calories into useful energy. You'll miss that when you're back to your old self.
And for those of you who went the opposite way -- hey, there's nothing wrong with that, either! See how distinguished you've become. Shout at people on the streets. Get discounts. Preview the pains and illnesses that will bring you closer to sweet, gentle death.
And, hey. I'm sure this will all sort itself out soon enough. Things always do, don't they?
[His voice drops an octave.]
In the end, they always do.
We seem to have some sort of friendly epidemic on our hands. Some of you are once again experiencing the joys of childhood, while others have been granted a glimpse into the ravages of age.
[A wistful sigh. The incident hasn't affected him, sadly. He wouldn't mind a return to his youth. Even a vision of his future body would have been interesting. He does wonder about the state of his hair in ten years.]
If you're upset about this situation, then I say--don't be. Try to enjoy it! If you're young, take advantage of your freshly empowered body. Run around for hours. Traipse in the dirt. Come home and eat ten hot dogs, with little to no digestive consequences. Drink a gallon of soda, and revel in your body's ability to somehow turn so many empty calories into useful energy. You'll miss that when you're back to your old self.
And for those of you who went the opposite way -- hey, there's nothing wrong with that, either! See how distinguished you've become. Shout at people on the streets. Get discounts. Preview the pains and illnesses that will bring you closer to sweet, gentle death.
And, hey. I'm sure this will all sort itself out soon enough. Things always do, don't they?
[His voice drops an octave.]
In the end, they always do.