voice;

[welcome]

[A smooth, low voice comes over the feed. So he doesn't have his own show anymore. So he can't, legally, call himself a reporter in this world. But he has this network, and it's better than nothing.]

We seem to have some sort of friendly epidemic on our hands. Some of you are once again experiencing the joys of childhood, while others have been granted a glimpse into the ravages of age.

[A wistful sigh. The incident hasn't affected him, sadly. He wouldn't mind a return to his youth. Even a vision of his future body would have been interesting. He does wonder about the state of his hair in ten years.]

If you're upset about this situation, then I say--don't be. Try to enjoy it! If you're young, take advantage of your freshly empowered body. Run around for hours. Traipse in the dirt. Come home and eat ten hot dogs, with little to no digestive consequences. Drink a gallon of soda, and revel in your body's ability to somehow turn so many empty calories into useful energy. You'll miss that when you're back to your old self.

And for those of you who went the opposite way -- hey, there's nothing wrong with that, either! See how distinguished you've become. Shout at people on the streets. Get discounts. Preview the pains and illnesses that will bring you closer to sweet, gentle death.

And, hey. I'm sure this will all sort itself out soon enough. Things always do, don't they?

[His voice drops an octave.]

In the end, they always do.

Comments

[abduxel]

"Sweet, gentle death." I like that. Doesn't strike me as terribly accurate, but I like it. Would you consider yourself an optimist?

[welcome]

[Brightly.]

In a manner of speaking!

[friendshiprocks]

Please don't tell people to drink a gallon of soda. I've been babysitting kids for the past few days, I really don't wanna deal with anybody super hyper.

[welcome]

Oh, come on. Let them have fun while they can.

[friendshiprocks]

You haven't cleaned up anyone's fun yet, have you.

voice;

[whippings]

You know, I've been trying to tell people this ever since it happened. Perhaps if I'd gained another five years, they'd even listen to me.

( Or maybe she should just get that whip that she'd been thinking about... )

[welcome]

[He sighs in commiseration.]

It's so sad when people won't listen to reason.

[whippings]

Why do you think they refuse to do so? ( She smirks a little. ) Is it because so many of them were turned into small children?

Voice

[glitterateur]

[Oh geez, Mabel knows that voice.]

You're right. Everyone should enjoy being able to eat as much sugar as then can while they can.

[welcome]

[Hey, it's the little girl who almost shattered his kneecaps!]

You!

[glitterateur]

[Oh geez, he's mad.]

I am really really sorry. I'm sorry times infinity.

text

[zodbob]

I don't think any of what you said is really sound advice.
We don't know what will happen when everything is sorted out.

[At least, he's hoping this gets sorted out soon...]

[welcome]

You're right. We don't know what will happen. Not with this situation and not with any other situation that comes after it. So -- might as well try to get something out of the experience while it lasts.

[zodbob]

That is logical.
However, I don't think anyone should eat ten hotdogs and expect no consequence.
Or shout at people and think people won't get mad.
Some restraint should be practiced.

[sciencelady]

Man, I feel you on exploiting the age thing, but I think you're only supposed to shout at stuff if you're like, sixty plus? Maybe fifty-five. I need like, things to do when you're mom-age.

[welcome]

[He taps his chin.]

Mom-age, huh? Have you tried ... gosh, I don't know. Staring into the middle distance for hours and then hiding, tearful, beneath the kitchen table? That's what my mother used to do.

[sciencelady]

I...kinda did that a few times as a teenager. I think maybe your mom mighta just been reliving the past?

[112ounces]

I'm kinda glad it didn't happen to me.

[ Cause he can always die young. ]

[welcome]

Oh? Why is that?

[112ounces]

It sounded unpleasant when you wake up in a body which your clothes are either too big or too small for you.

Video

[redplainsrider]

[A 9 year old red head in a child-sized cowboy hat is on screen.]

I am in agreement with you. From what I have learned of this dimension since being brought here, a change in age is hardly the worst that could have happened to us. If we have not returned to normal in a fortnight, perhaps that would be a more acceptable time to worry.

Otherwise, I have enjoyed partaking in carnival rides I may not have, ate 3 funnel cakes, have not had to work, and elder humans give me free hard candy from their purses.

[welcome]

That's the spirit! You get all the hard candy and funnel cakes you can stomach. Take advantage of the superior biological functions of youth. And if you do vomit -- you're a child! No one can blame you for being excited.

Just cut back when this gets all sorted. There's so little sympathy for publicly sick adults.

[redplainsrider]

I am very proud to say I have no projected any of my stomach's contents yet. I am sure I will not do so--it does seem as if it has more room to contain sweets than my mature form.

voice;

[quantifies]

Why do you recommend becoming dirty and consuming food and drink with poor nutritional values just because we are younger than we should be?

[welcome]

Why wouldn't I? Filth and junk food are what our young bodies were made to endure. To enjoy.