maskormenace | 03

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03 | text

I was going to apologize for throwing more inane bullshit on here, but since we're all going to be dying of plague soon I guess it's actually kind of topical. Get out while you still can, you know?

Anyway. Has anyone from an earth like this visited their home here? Was that kind of fun or just massively depressing?

And uh, I guess if the overwhelming answer is depressing I'm also taking vacation recommendations. I'm not really picky as long as it's somewhere kind of quiet and thought provoking. Someplace you can clear your head, you know?

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Assholes? I'm practically swimming in them.

Either you're truly unlucky or there's something about you that attracts them, Hazel.

Do the two really have to be mutually exclusive?

Perhaps not. Perhaps it's possible to be both. Or perhaps it's all a matter of your personal outlook? Do you give a lot of people a chance, Hazel? Or do you tend to judge them very quickly?

You either judge them quick or you never get a chance to start before shit hits the fan. I'm not the only one doing it.

There's a very famous saying that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover. And I firmly believe it's true. Sure, covers can be beautiful or terrifying or assholes as you say. But I always believe there's something more left to be discovered.

Sure. More assholery.

You are just all kinds of pessimistic, aren't you?

Who's ever going to know how nice the sun is if there isn't someone around throwing shade?

Seriously though, I'm just realistic.

Well it doesn't hurt for you to know how nice the sun is every once in a while.

Hey, I go outside sometimes. The sun and I are on very cordial terms.

Really? I thought that was you and your phone.

No, we're dating. Sometimes it comes out to lunch with us, though. It's a lot of fun.

As long as no one feels like the awkward third wheel, I suppose.

It's a solar-powered battery, so it's fine.

Well doesn't that add some scandalous layers to this whole thing?

I don't know, does it? Guess you're going to have to wait until the breaking news to find out.

I imagine it'll be popping up in a tabloid one of these days.

Front page, full color spread in the middle. I expect and will accept nothing less.

It's good to see you would settle for anything but the best. I approve!

Hey, you've got to have standards somewhere.

Especially when it comes to being featured in a sleazy tabloid? I mean, your whole reputation hangs in the balance if you're just designated to a tiny corner article between best and worst dressed.

Exactly! If you can't even get bottom of the barrel places like that to notice you, you're pretty much fucked.

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