two - bad taste | video

[abduxel]

[The comm tag says Matthew Lin. The young man on-screen is well-dressed in all-black formal clothing to match his black hair. Those with magical perceptive abilities might be able to see the ram horns sprouting from his forehead, but for most people, they are invisible.]

Well, apparently I'm sick and dying of Zombie Apocalpyse Syndrome. I'm not actually infected, just terribly peckish from sitting in my apartment with minimal groceries, you know how it goes. I would kill for some delivery, but apparently the local venues have no personnel up to snuff.

Finally, today, I have resorted to cannibalism. This afternoon, I fried up some Dorian Gray with a side of Elsa... uh... whatever her last name is. Was. It was delicious and I highly recommend giving it a try. Maybe I'll open a restaurant. I was wondering if you could all help me brainstorm some names.

[He looks perfectly fine, and is in fact full of shit, as Elsa and Dorian are both alive and Abduxel is not a cannibal, although he has resorted to stealing microwave dinners from his roommates covertly, sorry Mike Parker & Elizabeth. The whole spiel is said very dryly, so it could be taken as serious (in an uncomfortably casual, devil-may-care kind of way) or understood rightly to be him joking around.]

Comments

[sheriffing]

Still not even a little bit funny.

[abduxel]

Admit it. You laughed a little bit, on the inside.

[sheriffing]

I rolled my eyes, does that count?

[abduxel]

Well, that's pretty close. [He smiles.]

Are you staying safe in this zombie apocalypse, stranger?

[sheriffing]

Honestly, I'm not worried about staying safe. I'm worried about the people who aren't.

[Guess who's immune and feeling guilty? This savior.]

[abduxel]

[He doesn't know what to say, so he says what's probably the wrong thing.] They'll all revive, anyway.

[sheriffing]

They'll all suffer first.

[abduxel]

I don't mean to be callous, but everybody suffers. It's a part of life. You take the good with the bad. I'm suffering right now. [He holds up a ramen noodle box.]

[sheriffing]

That's not suffering, that's Ramen.

[abduxel]

...Wow.

Wow, that should be a company slogan or something.

[sheriffing]

I don't think it'd sell.

[abduxel]

Hey, I'd buy it.

Or maybe not, because I never want to eat ramen again.