two - bad taste | video

[abduxel]

[The comm tag says Matthew Lin. The young man on-screen is well-dressed in all-black formal clothing to match his black hair. Those with magical perceptive abilities might be able to see the ram horns sprouting from his forehead, but for most people, they are invisible.]

Well, apparently I'm sick and dying of Zombie Apocalpyse Syndrome. I'm not actually infected, just terribly peckish from sitting in my apartment with minimal groceries, you know how it goes. I would kill for some delivery, but apparently the local venues have no personnel up to snuff.

Finally, today, I have resorted to cannibalism. This afternoon, I fried up some Dorian Gray with a side of Elsa... uh... whatever her last name is. Was. It was delicious and I highly recommend giving it a try. Maybe I'll open a restaurant. I was wondering if you could all help me brainstorm some names.

[He looks perfectly fine, and is in fact full of shit, as Elsa and Dorian are both alive and Abduxel is not a cannibal, although he has resorted to stealing microwave dinners from his roommates covertly, sorry Mike Parker & Elizabeth. The whole spiel is said very dryly, so it could be taken as serious (in an uncomfortably casual, devil-may-care kind of way) or understood rightly to be him joking around.]

Comments

voice-only for now

[enustari]

[Here, have some (probably familiar by now) drunken cackling.

After sealing herself in her room, Elsa has had nothing to do but drink herself into oblivion while this whole ordeal plays out. This means she's fucking blasted and thinks this is hilarious.]

video always on Abduxel's end

[abduxel]

[Over-acted seriousness:]

Did I say something funny?

still voice!

[enustari]

I said- [snickering] I said you could come over and eat me out, not cook me up. This is a gross betrayal of terms! I'm gonna haunt your ass.

Video

[redplainsrider]

Ain't. Humorous. At. All.

[abduxel]

That's a terrible name for a restaurant.

[redplainsrider]

[She doesn't say anything. Just glares. If looks could kill.]

text;

[infomodder]

Are you usually this tasteless or is it part of your symptoms?

[game on]

[abduxel]

Tasteless. That's a really good one, Will.

As for your question, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe a little from column A, a little from column B. I'm not really up to snuff with modern sensibilities, to be honest.

[infomodder]

[Shut up Hannibal.]

You're not up to snuff or you don't care to be?

text;

[slightlyoffchilt]

Jesting with cannibalism is bound to attract the wrong sort of people.

video forever

[abduxel]

And yet here you are, Doctor.

voice

[cephalothorax]

[Guess who else is feeling completely fine, although less because he's immune and more because he has magical healing powers that he's been abusing and not offering to share. But why mention that! Instead, we'll go with...]

You have a strange sense of humor. I'm not sure it's appropriate.

[Using his best Good Boy voice, despite the fact that, in reality, he is sitting in the dark in goth clothing reading by the light of a blue-green fire, none of which suits his public image at all.]

video

[abduxel]

You're probably right, Chrollo. I know you're so good at being appropriate. Maybe you should teach me.

voice

[hubris]

I met Dorian the other day. I have to say the world probably isn't missing anything for his absence.

[abduxel]

[That almost makes him laugh.] Oh, I have to know what makes you say that.

video;

[brushoff]

It's true. I'm missing an arm and everything. [ said with a nod on his face, equally dry, with...both arms. ]

[abduxel]

Amazing how quickly society descends into savagery, isn't it.

[sheriffing]

People are suffering, and you're going around making jokes about it?

[abduxel]

Sometimes, people have to laugh so that they don't cry.

[He doesn't sound very sincere.]

video;

[ferrisbuellean]

[Wow it's like a zombie virus is enough to make most people lose their sense of humour. At least there's one shining beacon of hope on this network, even if it is cannibal jokes.]

I'm still waiting for door to door alcohol delivery myself. How's a guy meant to find a drink when there's a zombie disease in the air?

Re: video;

[abduxel]

[Thank the Devil, someone not here to chastise him for not being maudlin enough.]

This is why you should always keep a stockpile.

voice;

[lackey]

Dude.

[Dude, making shitty jokes at a time like this! (Those are jokes, right? Right??)

And dude, talking to Bro Will Graham up there, all rude and familiar at the same time.

(Also, dude, his microwave dinners! He's going to be so pissed when he finds out about those. Just because he ran away to hide from the disease somewhere else and has been gone for over a week doesn't mean his dinners are yours to devour, demon!!)]

The fuck is wrong with you, man?

[abduxel]

[Dryly,] I don't think I was hugged enough as a child.

[heavyhitter]

oh shit how was it
id brave the zombie infested streets for a taste of dorian and elsa ala carte

[abduxel]

Dorian was a little tough and chewy, but nothing that can't be masked with enough barbecue sauce. A huge improvement over having ramen noodles for the sixtieth time.